I've started more serious attempts at rebooting and stopping PMO for about the last six months or so. One thing that really got me more motivated, compared to previously failed attempts to stop PMO , was learning about the detrimental effects on the brain: how this addiction actually made you dumber, less able to focus and more sensitive to stress. Lack of motivation, sexualization of just about everyone and a lack of pleasure from ordinary things is also no way to live. I desperately felt the need to improve my state. I know that PMO isn't the only cause of issues in my life. I've definitely been impacted by traumas growing up, perfectionistic tendencies and a stressful life without balance. Even though I used to be a high performer in my academic life, stress and anxiety gradually became worse and worse to the point of crashing and burning out completely. It's been a very long recovery journey ever since. I'm not yet where I want to be, but I've made progress. Looking back, I can't help wonder how things would have looked like without PMO. PMO definitely became my drug of choice for many years. Doing it on a daily basis sure must have had its impact. From what I've now learned about the impact of PMO, it definitely made my life worse. Likely, anxiety got way worse because of it (just not in the moment). The oversexualization of women causing even more stress. The gradual numbing of the brain so that the ability to focus got worse and worse. Using PMO as a substitute for actual connection or other meaningful things. Loss of pleasure in other things. The list goes on... It's so easy to use this as a drug to escape whatever pain is in your life. I'm starting this journal now to have some more discipline, to remind myself of why we want stop PMO and to share my experiences. My longest streak without PMO has been around 7 weeks, these past six months of doing nofap. It was not easy. The addiction became clear given how extremely hard it was to stop. I have had some relapses and semi-relapses recently. Now it's time to get back on track. To get back into the mindset of growth and of meaning. To stop living in fear or in a state of 'meh'. To be more of our genuine selves. Cheers.