Checking in. Things are ok. Right now feeling a bit anxious which is probably due to having M'd yesterday. Last weekend was awesome as I did the ayahuasca session with some friends (even one of my best friends' father was present). We were with a big group of 18 people in total. It was very nice and my intention was to learn more about my upcoming fatherhood and I got a lot of insights. If people are interested I can share more about the experience. To prepare I also had to withhold sex for some days, which felt good. After the weekend J and I had sex, which was good and she definitely needs it to take the edge of as her pregnancy is getting more difficult now. I'm more busy with eating better and exercise, which overall seems to help me. Money is a bit tight, and that will get progressively worse in the coming years if I don't start making a lot more I guess. Life is overwhelming in general now and it still feels like I'm in some sort of weird and scary dream. I don't know how to judge all of this I'm in. But all I can do is accept the strange rollercoaster I'm in. If I think back how my journal has shifted during the years it's quite bizarre. At least my life isn't boring.