Let's go

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Rudolf Geyse, Dec 30, 2019.

  1. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    @Shady Thanks for the excellent note.

    Fought with them urges all morning. Opened up some tabs... but... I ended up not allowing through, no P or MO. Relief.

    I realise I'm exhausted again. After last year I said I would commit to taking regular holiday times... but... My situation once again has forced me to postpone it.

    Being more aware of this helps me to focus down on what I have to do until I get that time out. Staying busy. Treating leisure time as enemy territory so I'll be on guard. I'm pretty good at scheduling quality rest time in my week, I must stick to that or I'll burn out properly. Quality rest time means resting the way I should, NOT with PMO.

    I want to get through May on this streak. (For starters, of course.)
     
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  2. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Well-Known Member

    May you find success. :3

    Just out of curiosity, the strain you are under, was pmo ever an effective way of dealing with it? Or did it end up exhausting you more? Smoking, for me, while a hilariously bad habit always helped me regulate. Not sure I have fully replaced it yet.
     
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  3. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Hey @dark red drifter vessel . Thanks for well-wishes. To answer the question, the trade-off of pmo was short-term relief from stress, for longer-term increased stress because of avoiding the issues to spend vital time on pmo. I don't feel this is a helpful way to regulate.

    I've been looking into "flow" / "flow states", which is a session in which you get caught up in work, or even restful activities. I've experienced this before and this is a more helpful way of coping. What stresses me out is having piles of work on my plate which I need to get to. Aside from working smarter, delegating etc, a better tactic than escapism is to get going on projects which take all my focus for a couple of hours, so my mind is set on the tasks rather than the sense of being overwhelmed. Or even rest, like watching some great episodes with good characters I care about, so that I forget about my situation in a more positive way than pmo.

    The best way to find that is to just get started without procrastinating, and also find ways to avoid interruptions (like email notifications, definitely social media notifications - these need to be turned off for a while). Interruptions = stressors.

    Again, I talk a good game, let's see if I can apply these and maximise the streak.
     
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  4. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Well-Known Member

    Great points. I’ve been working on a time schedule myself to chop up things I need to do in bitesize pieces. It helps me to not feel overwhelmed cause there’s just one task to do in a certain timespan.

    Stress is a big one and can really throw us off. Goodluck man!
     
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  5. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Despite all my good intentions I fell into a bit of a rut the last 24 hours, really feeling totally unmotivated by the seeming mountain of work I have to get to. I'm ready to claw my way out though. Counter reset, 13 days. 2 weeks is a bit of a hurdle at the moment.
     
  6. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    This thing is still all over me, I'm exercising some resolve to get over it. Will need to watch out for the chaser effect for the next day or so.
     
  7. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Rode out that first session without caving. Had another pang now getting to work. I'm trying to focus on the peace of mind I'll have if I can get through certain urgent tasks.
     
  8. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    I can see a pattern, coming out of relapse, after the initial chaser period, where the streak is easy. At some stage, around 10-12 days, a particular fetish or scene will come into my head and I'll start obsessing over it and head towards an eventual relapse. I need everything I can muster for that coming moment in time.
     
  9. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Feelin' fine. Busy with a big house moving project, end-of-month stuff which I'm still trying to finish up... too busy to waste any time at the moment.
     
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  10. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Decided not to work late last night, cos I was too tired. Had a round of COD, caught up some Netflix... Sure enough, I started jonesing pretty early on in the evening.... but didn't look at anything dodgy, no F, no MO. The perfect evening for building the streak.
     
  11. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Active Member

    Still going strong.

    Reason not to fap #38): Because if the opportunity presents itself for an intimate moment with my wife, I don't ever want to be thinking to myself in that moment, "Oh hell, but I just MO'd a few moments ago..."
     

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