Hey guys, I'm new here. My story with PMO is extensive so I'll try and be brief. I think I was truly exposed to it all around the age of 14 but I remember being even younger and having some crazy thoughts. I think my longest streak without PMO since then might have been a few days here and there. And now, I am 30 years old. For YEARS I have tried to quit but nothing has ever worked. I grew up in a rural small town in the deep south. Think "belt-buckle" of the Bible belt and was always taught that if you bring your burden's to God then He can help you. (Not to mention I was also taught that PMO was an abomination and you'd go to hell for even looking at the stuff.) After years of praying and begging this God to forgive me and take this all away, I kept going back. Sometimes, I would get urges, quickly pray and ask him to take it away, then 5 minutes later the urge would be right back in and before I knew it, I'd be watching and rubbing. It is for this reason that I started doubting and questioning everything about my faith I had growing up. And honestly, now, I'm not sure where I am with that faith. I've been married for 4 years now and we have two daughters, under the age of two. With each major event (getting married, having each daughter) I would tell myself "Alright, this is the event that will make me quit." But... of course, it keeps coming back. I stumbled upon YBOP and YBR right after we got married because I was having some ED while my wife and I were... doing our thing. I started wondering if the P/M had anything to do with my ED... boy was I surprised! Four years later and I'm having to make sure I don't have any P/M for a few days before my wife and I have sex. So now, I'm sick and tired of it quite frankly. This is my coming out journal and finally trying to take a stand and put it behind me. Here I am, Day 7. My wife and I were intimate last night and it was great! For the last two nights I've had some dreams and the urges have been very real the last two mornings. Even now... even after last night. So I thought it best to go ahead and create an account and share my journey. Good luck to everyone (myself included). I'll update every once in awhile to see how I'm doing. Thanks!