leaving the darkness

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by peacefulandfree, Oct 13, 2020.

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  1. peacefulandfree

    peacefulandfree New Member

    I never thought I would be here as a thirty-three year old man.

    It started when I was eleven years old, and I looked up pornography on my family's computer. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had no idea that I was setting myself up to objectify women for the next twenty-two years. I had no idea that it would contribute the decline of all of my intimate relationships. I had no idea that it would completely isolate me socially. I had no idea that I waste spend hours alone on my computer. I had no idea that I would develop dark and shameful fetishes. I had no idea that it would lead me to act-out with prostitutes. I had no idea that it would bring me to the brink of suicide.

    Exposing children to pornography is not unlike using an cyanide-laced ice cream cone to entice children to the back of a windowless white van, wherein lies sadistic and horrific nightmares beyond the imagination. It is an act of pure malevolence and unadulterated evil. Exposing children to pornography should be a felony that carries a minimum of ten years in prison. Current age verification is not sufficient, and the producers of pornography websites need to be held accountable. But I digress.

    Pornography has taken a lot from me, but most significantly porn has stolen love from me.

    Not all of the wishing in the world can get it back.

    But, right now, this very moment, this is the first moment of the rest of my life. Henceforth I choose to live a life free of pornography. I choose to live a life full of peace and freedom. Rather than wallow in self-hatred, I choose to live a life of love, kindness, and compassion for myself. I choose to find and pursue the woman of my dreams.

    This journal will serve to chronicle my journey over the next ninety days, and I am honored to share it with you guys.
     
    Dave858, Thelongwayhome27 and -Luke- like this.
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum! Sounds like my own story, 33 years old, started at age 10 or 11. I wish you all the best regarding goals and plans.

    One tip, though: Don't focus on the 90 days too much. It's just a number. There is no magic that happens sometime in the night from day 89 to day 90. Give yourself as much time as you need.
     
  3. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Not sure I would agree with this. Definitely not 10 years lol.

    In my opinion while porn can have a lot of bad consequences I don't think porn is the root cause of everything that went wrong in my life. Bundy blamed porn for what he did in one of this last taped recordings. If porn would have such an effect on people, society would have ceased to exist while ago. I have many friends who have watched porn in they're teens, just like me, and now they are married with kids. There are many other factors that make us go off the rails and that indeed make us abuse porn. I see porn abuse as a symptom of something problematic at a deeper level.

    This is my opinion and I may be wrong though. I admit that I saw some nude images quite young too and they had a strong impact on me at that time. I remember seeing a playboy magazine at like 8 or 9. Is this why all my life went off the rails ? I feel like it's a bit of a long shot ...

    But welcome to the forum !

    Despite my less aggressive position towards porn I still think it causes a heck loads of problems. I hope you find your own perspective, that it helps you find your path, and indeed I totally agree with you that dramatically reducing or eliminating porn from your life should have a great effect !
     
    peacefulandfree likes this.
  4. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    @peacefulandfree I applaud you for deciding to fix your life and drop PMO.
    you can do this.
    But don't stop at 90 days. Let's just say it's the first check point.
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  5. Dave858

    Dave858 New Member

    Wow- great writing man

    But, right now, this very moment, this is the first moment of the rest of my life. Henceforth I choose to live a life free of pornography. I choose to live a life full of peace and freedom. Rather than wallow in self-hatred, I choose to live a life of love, kindness, and compassion for myself. I choose to find and pursue the woman of my dreams.
     

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