Thanks for checking in. Things are really challenging right now. Parents are hit with some off the charts problems. It's difficult because I have a lot of difficulty in not blaming my father for some of the problems that are happening right now, or at least for our situation and thus how we can handle these problems. It feels like the result of so many years of wrong choices, irresponsibility and blaming/abusing others. But it wouldn't help right now to blame him and get in toxic or pointless fights. And my mom is being hit really hard with everything and I don't blame her much (she was and is co-dependent and is a hard worker). I wish I could help her more but here I am with all my own personal problems (single and no kids, almost always alone, no job or prospects, lost and indecisive in my life, depressed and anxious). Barely able right now to avoid a relapse. Been hanging on by a thread for the past two days. Because of opportunity and some high libido (because of abstinence) but also I think simply because I have a lot of anxiety and sadness right now with everything that is happening. Just trying to get by one day at a time and doing my best to avoid a relapse since I know that would make everything much worse (yet I can't explain how tempting it is to go for that relief). On a brighter note, I'm planning to do some socialising this weekend and I think that may help (since I'm alone all the time now). It's social stuff that I do look forward to (and that I would probably avoid if I relapse). But there is some other kind of social events coming up next week which I don't look forward to and that feel like a chore and are giving me a lot of anxiety. But yea I think I need to really focus on taking care of myself right now at all costs since psychologically and emotionally things are challenging.