Wow, thanks for the detailing out your game plan @Thelongwayhome27. That makes a lot of sense. I will try what you suggested and start observing my inner critic and thinking about it. I see now how little I actually understand him. The words you said about your father ring true for mine as well. Big expectations, only ever hearing criticism and your opinions not given any value. That's the root of my issues too, I think. Yet I don't have hate for him either, because I recognize now, that it was just at the beginning of a long chain of unfortunate events. The pron thing, leading to social anxiety, leading to drinking, leading to giving up on developing/fixing myself, leading to where I am now. How long did it take you to get over the jogging thing? How long have you been at this? PS: That reminds me I should finally read 'Fealing Good. The new mood therapy'. I think it has very similar advice.