Learning about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Outsider., Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Thank you Fry,

    You're right, that's why I didn't binge for a long time (Saturday and Sunday). I made the longest streak in my entire life (58 days), so I don't want to loose all the benefits and the momentum.
    I'm back on track but I'm having hard moments... Will do my best to be strong...
     
  2. manofk

    manofk Member

    Really sorry to hear of your loss, can only imagine how you feel at the moment but if anything good can come of it, it's the inspiration to keep going in beating this addiction.
     
  3. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Thank you manofk.

    Yes, tough period, but life continues... We dont' have the choice.
    After my last week relapse, I was tempted to look at P, but I didn't. I "only" looked at sexy pics and videos this week, but I know well I shouldn't... We all know where it leads...
    Here is my plan: no more P sexy pics/vids watching. If I want to MO, I will, but sanely (thinking about/remembering a good intercourse), as I did for the last months when the pressure was too high. This seems to be a good solution for me. Then, after a few weeks, I'll see, I'll try to abstain completely from MO.

    Keep strong brothers.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2019
  4. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Very busy at work today (we are testing a Business continuity Plan), so it's very good to work hard, don't have even time to surf the internet :)
    Since 22nd of January, I only relapsed twice (after 32 and then 58 days), so I'm very, very happy. PMO'ed twice in almost 100 days is tremendous for me. I really feel that a lot of things have changed.
    . I have more self confidence
    . I start to become a real man (finally...)
    . Communication is far better with my wife (before, it was a mess...)
    . A lot of MW
    . Better erections (and penis thicker and longer than ever in my entire life)
    You all know and have seen those results yourselves, nothing new here. We know which path we must choose to improve our lives... So keep going on, and let's just forget about P.
    The sadness of my father's death is still here, of course, two weeks after, but I have to be strong. Stronger than ever.
    Peace.
     
  5. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Real and sane life is waiting for me. Don't have time for BS.

    Beast mode ON
     
  6. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much Outsider 92!! Truly appreciate the advice and reading my posts. Oh my gosh, isn't that funny...the complete fear of going to an old fashioned phone, but the peace it could provide. Equivalent to the idea of moving to a foreign country, with nothing. What an amazing concept..the control of phones. You are right, the need to move on from dating apps and such is ridiculous.

    Let me ask you something..how is edging defined? precum? Its not exactly masturbating and orgasm, but I wonder if its "wrong." or "cheating" with daycount. As much criticism as daycount gets, it really helps. I do like the idea of spreadsheets and acting right say 300/365 days..but there is a huge difference between going ona good one month streak vs. acting out every two days and restarting..
     
  7. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    STC,
    For me, and it's only my personal opinion, edging is ok, and even MO is ok in a first time, BUT as long as it's done "sanely", I mean, while thinking about a good intercourse YOU HAD. Not fantasizing with those P whores, or not either with sexy girls you saw on computer or even on tinder.
    Again, for me, and only for me, the first goal is to avoid to look at P. I allow me to MO once in a while when pressure is too high, but only under the condition I just mentioned.
    But of course, it's better to go cold turkey, because most of the time, edging or MO will finally lead to PMO, we all experienced it. So STC, try to get a very good daily routine (workout, reading some good motivational books, meditating, studying, visiting family if they're not far, and taking care of them, etc) to prevent you from sexting and being hooked by those stupid dating apps. You seem to be now more "addicted" to those dating apps than to P when I read your last post. Don't "move" the problem, fix it dude.
    Do you think successfull men like, for example, Stephen Curry, Raphaël Nadal, Steve Jobs, Muhammad Ali, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Fifty Cent spent their time PMOing or sexting all night long to become who they are now? They are winner because they know what they want, and they worked hard to get it. Sacrifices. Determination. Willpower. They are not loosers who have wasted their time with P. So let's read their biography and get inspired by them, and then follow their example.
     
  8. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    I can't do the MO..It leads to a chain reaction..hopping on dating sites..doing bad things..getting addicted to chasing girls..trouble sleeping..etc etc..My thing is not just porn, its all encompassing..One day I hope to be ok to do MO once or twice a week, but unfortunately if I do it once, I'll do it 5x a day and fully engage
     
  9. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    It's been more than two weeks I didn't post here. I simply didn't feel the need to do so.
    Thank you my Lord, I'm feeling well, still don't want to P.
    As I'm more busy than before/ever, I don't even have time to think about P.

    Concerning the changes I can see within myself:
    1. MW are more frequent (four to five times a week), but when they appear, I just tell to myself, instead of wanting to "test it":"this is one of the numerous physical changes due to my abstinence from PMO"
    2. I dream several times a week (before quiting PMO, I almost never have remembered a dream for decades...). Not yet wet dream, maybe one day :p
    3. I really feel that my my brain starts to get clearer, and that this fog disappears little by little.
    4. Relationship is better with my wife (more communication)
    5. I feel that my voice is a little deeper
    6. More eye contact with girls in the street/metro etc (even if I don't want to cheat on my wife, but this "little game" is still good for self confidence).
    7. I have more self confidence
    8. The last weeks has been as if P has never existed, really. I just do what I have to do, period. Being busy from 5:45 AM to 11:30 PM. A simple normal (and busy) life. I have people to take care of. No time anymore for BS. I just forget/don't think about P, that's all. It can sound weird or even arrogant for some of you to read that, but I've analyzed a lot of things since I realized a few months ago that I was addicted (end of January 2016), so I don't do something special to cure, I just live the life I want to and do my best to achieve my goals.
    Once one admits that he is addicted, then he can start the process. From my perspective, being busy doing (positive) things is one of the keys. As we all know: "“An idle mind is the devil’s playground”.
    I wish good luck to all of you, and know that I'm writing here my own success story. I already consider myself as successfull and will continue to be successfull for the rest of my life, with God's help.
     
  10. ItsPossible

    ItsPossible Active Member

    Keep up the good work Outsider92! You are trucking right along and about the hit the big 30 days!

    I am starting to recognize some of the changes you mention. This way life is definitely better than the other. I am also noticing more loving feelings towards my wife, I am not sure if she notices any difference, but I sure do. I am checking her out more and it's bringing back those tingling feelings on how I feel about her. I think I am going to tell her when I reach day 30. I feel like I have control of it by that time. I am with you on #8, it's the change of how you want to live your life. I am staying busy like you and actually get some stuff done around the house. I look back and wonder how in the world did I have time to pmo? There is no time for that crap because life isn't going to wait for you, we are going to keep getting old and we can't miss out on life because we were watching senseless entertainment. Rock on brother!
     
  11. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Thank you very much ItsPossible, your words of encouragement are always much appreciated.

    Happy to see your determination once again.
    The fact that you found unexpected support from your friends is a very good thing. You're no longer alone (even if you post and get support here, but a "physical" support is always better).
    Yes, 30 days is a good goal. Then, I advise you to have "baby step": 10 days per ten days. That's what I do and for me it's more concrete attainable than a loooong 90 or 120 days in a row. Counting can be good for some reasons (you see how far you get each day from PMO), but me mustn't focus on it, it's not the most important. We must FEEL the changes. As I wrote before, you won't wake up at exactly 90 and say: I'm cured!!! We must change our state and our bad habits.
    You're totally right, we've wasted enough time, time is for action now.
    Keep strong bro'.

    Last night I woke up at 2:00 AM and was very horny. As my wife is actually tired and was sleeping, I didn't awaken her... Then this morning I've had a lot of precum...
    No edging, no M, no P. Then I performed kegel exercises instead of "playing" with my penis. Far better and more usefull.
    In progress...
     
  12. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    MO'ed twice yesterday, but, as usually, "sanely", not fantasizing with those whores. Just remembering a good intercourse, so I'm Ok with that and I didn't binge.
    Huge urges to MO always come at day 30-33...
    I have to be very cautious.
     
  13. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    One of my friends suddenly died this saturday. He just fell on the floor, at home, and died. No health problem, nothing special... His wife is pregnant (in her 7th month...)
    Tough time...
    I hope my sadness/this situation won't have bad consequences, like it was the case with my father's death 6 weeks ago (I finally PMO'ed after a 58 days streak). Let's see...
    I have to analyze precisely what leads me to (P)MO so that I'm most aware of the different triggers...
    Let's investigate...
     
  14. ItsPossible

    ItsPossible Active Member

    Hey Outsider92,
    So sorry to hear about your friend lost, that is tragic. Don’t make that an excuse to mo to p. The addiction will always find its way to try to sneak in for any reason. If you make an excuse, it will find its way in. There is no need for that! You are stronger than that!
     
  15. jnv

    jnv Active Member

    Stay strong in these tough moments mate.
    You seem to be doing fine and to know how better and better your brain works and that's great.
     
  16. staythecourse

    staythecourse Well-Known Member

    Outsider 92..hope you stay strong and stay the course. You've had amazing growth as you keep moving forward. It makes you a better son, father, husband and friend. You have a new power within to show up for life and help others. Keep up the good work.
     
  17. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    ItsPossible, Jnv and StaytheCourse,

    Thank you so much for your words, they strenghten me a lot. This is the support I needed and need to stay the course. Thank you guys!
    I talked to a very close friend of my addiction two weeks ago, he didn't judged me and helped me to search the base of this addiction. His question is "WHY do you PMO?" What do you search via PMO'ing? What do you miss? He told me that I have to understand first why I PMO to be able to stop it... As it began 25 years ago, and that there has been a lot of things which has changed since, it's not that easy to analyze... But I'm searching. Learning who am I, what I want etc...
    In spite of this new loss, which has affected me, I didn't PMO'ed, thank you my Lord. I'm actually "used" to avoid it. I "simply" don't think about P, and, day by day, it's becoming more and more far from me. Since January, when I realized that I was addicted, I feel that I'm about to cure. Only two relapses since that, it's simply amazing for me. I never reached a full month in my life before january, so I can only be very happy for what's currently happening.
    I stay strong. My mum's counting on me.
    My wife's counting on me
    My four children are counting on me. I must and I am becoming the best and strongest version of myself.
    Thank you again my friends, I really appreciate your support. Really.
     
  18. ItsPossible

    ItsPossible Active Member

    Hi Outsider92!
    You just keep on quitting! 45 Days and there is no need to relapse! Unfortunately for me, it got the better of me. I will catch up to you and you inspire me with your dedication and fight to get this behind you. I really appreciate your support and reading your journal. Keep up the good work and only 5 days for the big 50 days’ goal!
     
  19. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    33 days my friend, amazing! Please just don't binge and get back on the horse directly otherwise you may loose the benefits of such a great streak.
    Thank you for your last post, I'm happy if my journal can motivate you 8)
    Of course I'm very happy to reach 45 or 50 days, but I don't really count the days nowadays, I just do what I have to do, and just don't think about P. It wasted enough of my life/energy, so I no longer have time for this bullshit. I have goals to achieve, I can no longer loose my soul, my mind and my precious vital semen.
    I also avoid to look at sexy pics because we all know where it leads little by little.
    I feel I'll succeed. I know I'll succeed. I made the choice to be successful. I'm already successful and feel a lot of the benefits we all know.
    Stay brave and strong!
    Beast Mode still ON.

    Ray Lewis motivational video:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53ORp0gI4ec
     
  20. jnv

    jnv Active Member

    Congratulations for the 50 day milestone mate! That's impressive! 8)

    Keep the Beast Mode ON forever! :D
     

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