Learning about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Outsider., Feb 3, 2016.

  1. nuclpow

    nuclpow Active Member

    I don't blame you, it's not clear.

    Do you have some constructive activities you can do when you get the suggestion to look at porn?

    Ideally you should work on your life plan. I also like listening to knowledgeable people from YouTube when the inclination to porn hits.
     
  2. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Nope I don’t have a strategy or something special to do when I get strong urges to watch P but I definitely have to work on that. I didn’t even watch P for almost 3 months now and I didn’t wanted to or think about it. It was finality so unexpected and powerful last time it’s incredible.
    This is a good lesson for me, never take anything for granted and keep your guard high.
    Fortunately since I came here and wrote that I stop now I didn’t came back to P. Otherwise everybody knows how it’d have ended.
     
  3. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    I focus on the Wim Hof Method. I love this guy for what he brought to mankind.
    I’m very calm since I started to perform the breathing he explained in his method. It’s simply the best thing I ever experienced in my life. Mindset, deep breathing and cold exposure.
    It’s cold now where I live (3• Celsius this morning) and I’m just still wearing a polo shirt (or a shirt the other days). I literally feel I’m getting stronger and more resistant. I love cold nowadays, while I used to hate it before. As Wim says, cold is becoming my warm friend haha
    « Become the Alchemist of your own chemistry ». Just amazing and life changing.
    I know that for most people (even my wife and oldest kids) I look crazy because I « inflict this » to myself. Understands who can, I feel very good and love that. « Happy, strong and healthy »

    Take care brothers.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2019
  4. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Had very short but good sex yesterday with my wife. Before me made love I did some deep breathing (+ some squats while holding my breath) while I was waiting for her to finish her shower.
    >> I had a hard rock erection ;)
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2019
  5. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    I saw a video the other day where a guy was talking about his strategy for coping with urges.

    Firstly he kept an elastic band round his wrist and would snap it every time he felt an urge to act out. If that didn't work he'd try doing some breathing exercises or even some 'mindful' pushups (could be done against a wall). And if he still felt triggered he'd make a phone call to someone - not to talk about the fact he's feeling urges, purely to establish some kind of human connection with a view to interrupting the pattern.
     
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  6. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Thanks for the advice @forlorn
    Had sex with wife yesterday. She O’ed quite quickly, as usually and I last a long time after she O’ed. When I felt she was tired I simply decided to O then. Good to have control. Had again a strong erection.
    Improvement still in progress :)
    90 days without PMO, so 33 months from the long term goal :D
     
  7. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Narcisse leaves the company and move to south of France in two weeks. It’s tough because I like her very much but it’s finally a good thing, as I still wanna bang her when she put her sexy clothes and hug me.
    The lesson for the future is that I’ll no longer start to get closer with any (attractive) female it’s far better like this. I love to be alone, when I have lunch or even during a short break so it’ll be better like this.
     
  8. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Awesome @outsider!
     
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  9. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    It is probably better like this and you know to be careful in the future. Keep ut up!
     
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  10. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    As I won’t work this Monday (I took a day off to see my 8 yo daughter running in the park with school) it’s the last time I’ll see Narcisse today. We had lunch together it was nice. No implied or direct sexual conversation so it’s better like this. Even if she has a huge problem with her ego and need to be attractive she’s a good girl. She often gave me good advice when I needed to and was always here to make me laugh. Even if I’ll miss her a lot, it’s better that she leaves the company and that I won’t see her anymore. It’ll allow me to focus more on my daily job, je more concentrated. I’ll only take short breaks to grab a coffee quickly and will do interesting things for me at work during the breaks. I think I’ll “forget” her quite quickly, it’ll save me energy and time finally.
    Regarding PMO/MO I’m doing well. As often I simply don’t think about it. I still breath 15’ in the morning and take cold showers, it’s definitely part of my daily routine :)
     
  11. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Good on you outsider. All the best going forward sir
     
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  12. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Miss Outsider had her period last week, weirdly, earlier than scheduled, so no sex last weekend. I had sex yesterday evening with her after two weeks without O at all (no PMO no Mo either). While usually after this quite long retention I’d have O’ed quickly, it was my problem the last months. But two weeks ago and yesterday I had a hard rock erection and I lasted as long as I wanted!
    Improvement in progress! :D:cool::):p
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019
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  13. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    4 months since I last PMO’ed, +30 days since I last MO’ed. P looks very far from me again I’m very thankful for that. Nevertheless I keep my guard high.
    I’m learning a new skill so I’m busy and have a personal goal to work on. So no time and no need to watch P :)
    Take care bros.
     
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  14. Fish Hawk

    Fish Hawk Well-Known Member

    Congradulations! You are really coming along !
     
    Outsider. likes this.
  15. nuclpow

    nuclpow Active Member

    This is great! Good job.

    Thanks for sharing your tip about being busy with other things.
     
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  16. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    You’re welcome @nuclpow
    It’s not just « being busy » it’s really working on a definite goal and purpose. Working on it and want to reach that goal (whatever it is, from having a personal financial goal, to get a better relationship with wife, get in shape and healthy,or try to find ideas to get a better job etc). Once you commit to make all the necessary efforts to achieve your goal until it even becomes an obsession, you simply forget about P.
    It makes one realize truly that P just messed up one’s brain and prevented from getting imagination, having dreams and working on them, and that THIS TIME IS OVER. It’s never too late to start living.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
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  17. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    Wife and kids just left the house to sleep to my mother in law’s house a few days, maybe until Wednesday or Saturday. So I’ll be alone for between 3 and 6 days. Before I was “scared” to be alone with my addiction. It almost always finished with huge binges. Nowadays, while I could start watching P and fapping “peacefully” at home, I just don’t want.
    I’m very happy to be alone, having time for myself and focus on what I want to do. Time as well for reading. I do know I won’t relapse. I no longer want this shit in my life.
    The most precious asset one have in life is Time. I will use it efficiently.
    Take care bro’s!
     
  18. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Outstanding! Having goals and a purpose seems to be the best approach. We WILL fill our lives with something.
    Good on you outsider
     
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  19. Outsider.

    Outsider. Turning Simple Disciplines Into Massive Success

    PMO’ed finally. The most important lessons I take from that: learning humility, never taking anything for granted, and keeping my big mouth shut. Avoiding to be alone at home for a long time as well, as this seems to be the worst and main stimuli for me.
    Anyway, I don’t fail, I learn :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2020
  20. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I know what you mean. Trigger situations can be very troublesome. I have my triggers and try to avoid them but it's really difficult.
    The actor Robert Downey said to the judge admonishing him about the very real dangers of his fight with heroin addiction "It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and I like the taste of metal.”
    At the time the pull seems so delicious.

    Keep going outsider. All the best to you sir
     

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