latest relapse has made me realized how unhappy porn makes me

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by dig deep, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    just spent the last three days binging watching,collecting and saving porn,god i love porn it brings me such pleasure,but when i cum and stop watching porn i feel bad, worthless and that im wasting my life.
    I have to stop watching porn i cant keep wasting my life,procrastinating,not doing the things i need to do around the house and in my life like getting a girlfriend and a social life.
    Porn makes loneliness bearable but it makes loneliness worse buy keeping me in my room on my own for hours,also as porn is something i do alot its something i cant talk about so i become less interesting and more of a social outcast,i need to stop PMO and get a life,do things ,find hobbies get a girlfriend and yes have sex instead of watching others have sex.
    watching so much porn for so long has affected my sexual confidence and thus i avoid chances with women for fear of sexual failure,over time it has knock my social confidence by staying in and PMO instead of being out there i guess its the catch 22 situation.
    All i cared about was porn when not working,this relationship is unrealistic as porn slowly seeps into your life as a functional addict.Eventually you need it to deal with any aspect of life,death in the family,unbearable use porn,life unbearable use porn,boredom,loneliness,depression,insomnia and stress no matter porn will be your girlfriend,your best friend your hero.
    I'm 39 years old and single,and i've been watching porn since i was 16 but from 13 any bit of nudity on tv i would watch,i've always had a fascination with nudity and sex and it progress through out the years.In all that time i've never had a serous girlfriend,in my life, people have come and gone i guess i'm a bit of loner and i have social anxiety and all that porn viewing has made things worse.but i've got to an age where things cant go on as they are i don't want to be on my own any more and for me to move on and find companionship something has to go and that thing is porn.
    I've always worked and i own my own house so that's something but on a personal level things need to improve,another thing that annoys me is all that time i've wasted i've could of done better things like diy,exercise,overtime etc.
    As much as i enjoy porn and and all that searching it cant be part of my life any more.

    so hears to a new and improved life.
     
  2. nofapado

    nofapado Guest

    Billy you make many excellent observations and insight about P. wishing you the best. you life will improve when you leave P behind.
     
  3. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    nofapado and me_vs_p, thanks for the encouragement

    day1 , ive installed k9 even though i know how to corrupt it,it adds that extra protection.
    so far no problems thats to be expected as its the first day,from past experience its around the 4 or 5 day when i get urges and that will be close to the weekend,one of my plans is to write down on paper what i need to look at on the internet do that then switch the computer,its the general surfing thats leads me astray.
     

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