Just joined the 40s club

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by CleanBootsBaby!, Jan 18, 2022.

  1. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    There are so many other beautiful things in life to enjoy. For example, anthropomorphized Mariachi-singing ducks:

    Why waste time on other things instead? :D
    Rudolf Geyse, Shady, Libertad and 2 others like this.
  2. Old Tom Bombadil

    Old Tom Bombadil Active Member

    Wow how cool is this! Best,
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  3. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Good to see you still hanging in!
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  4. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Same to you :).
    Old Tom Bombadil likes this.
  5. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Hi there, old friend.
  6. realness

    realness Well-Known Member

    Yo CBB! So, if I'm following, you were previously married and then divorced? How long since then? Are you actively looking for another relationship? I'm curious how the road of recovery and health is for a single guy.
  7. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Hey, it's been a little over 4 years since I'm divorced. I didn't pursue a divorce, but I was..."gifted" an unexpected one :).

    2 years after was when I first started considering trusting someone again. 11 years of marriage going to nothing...leaves a mark on you.

    If I get to find a "unicorn", then I'll marry again. If not...it's not the end of the world, even though sometimes loneliness and sexual frustration rear their ugly heads. As you may have deduced, being a Christian, I believe in sex only within the confines of a marriage.

    What else can I say? I've been pursued (turns out I'm a decent guy after all, LOL), could've had both relationships and sex. But casual sex -no, and the persons were not right for me. I won't dwell into details - but I do need someone that shares the same worldview and principles with me. Sexual attraction, as a needed ingredient, was present in some of those instances.

    Sometimes, it's enough to say a respectful "no" to see a woman show her true face. You will be shocked. Other times, be just friends, and in about 6 months, again, the character will be revealed.

    So...the path towards victory over PMO as a single guy is, I'd say, more frustrating, and with some (missing and relatively "instant" in the grand scheme of things) rewards that only the married guys can enjoy.

    Ask away if you're curious about anything else :). I don't have inspiration in spades at the moment.


    Oh, day 177, and there have been some when I felt unmotivated and had to distract myself from compromise / almost giving in. I'm so glad, as I'm typing these words, that I didn't give up.
  8. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    I admire your resolve to stick to your principles, CBB. Yes, it can be harder to stay clean when single (I was single for 10 years after my divorce), but many guys here have done it. I was not one of them, but I was inspired by the ones who did. 177 is about 6 months. That's awesome! It's people like you who give me hope.
  9. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    In case you are still looking for a unicorn and you haven´t seen this video. Very funny but also full of facts. To lighten your day and for all the single guys as a plan for what to look for.
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2022
  10. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Thank you, my friend.

    Wow, 10 years, that's not exactly a walk in the park, is it? :) The admiration is mutual: I have it for all those that are no longer happy with the "status quo" of their life and decide to fight this horrible self-inflicted disease.

    Thank you for all your kind words. They provided me with extra-motivation :).
  11. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Hahaha, man, a classic! A classic (dare I say?) documentary, that is :).

    However, in truth, I think his graph, if anything, is underestimating the percentage of average-looking women that are still...ahem...special :D.

    Still...you know what they say: "If you don't play the lottery, you'll never win!" I get some extra points because I live in Eastern Europe, move in conservative Christian circles (in most part, Christianity here is not the sugary-coated one so many times seen in the West), so things are not as bad here as in other places...if you know where to look.

    Everyone wonders why am I the only one in my family not living in US...well, I'm fine, here, thank you, for a variety of reasons; one may or may not have something to do with the subject at hand :D.
    Mozenjo, Rudolf Geyse and Libertad like this.
  12. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Boyos, boyos, boyos...

    Doing quite well, going through a period of smooth sailing as far as temptations go.

    It's good when you check in just to let others now you're still alive and doing well. Ah, the serenity...
  13. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Not much to write back home about, I am doing better than ever when it comes to staying clean. I am in a good place.

    Keep doing the right thing, guys.
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2022
  14. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Ha! 200 days.

    Yet I feel anyhow but well; just a number. Been battling for about 4 years an unknown disease. The treatment I am using currently makes things worse.

    I have already decided: unless it is under control, I won't ever remarry, hence, based on my personal principles, I will never have sex again. It makes me smile bitterly when I hear others complaining about feeling horny being a barrier to winning the war against porn. I am playing on nightmare level, yet hang on somehow. Not saying this to feel "superior"; I am simply stating that even if it seems there's nothing for you to look forward to you can still win this war.

    Some days I feel like wasting away. Very few people know what I am going through. The only hope I have is that in the past I have seen miracles. It's not that only I call them as such, doctors have, based on hard evidence. It would not be the first time I am betting my future on a miracle :). One of the few things I am sure of anymore is that God is real.

    ...all that remains is hope.

    I wish my post had another tone. It can't, honestly. Sorry.

    All the best to all the courageous folk here! :)
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2022
    Rudolf Geyse and -Luke- like this.
  15. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Miracles do happen. I didn't believe that in the past, but have changed my thinking in recent years based on stories I've heard from people I trust. Either way, it seems to me that you've got a great attitude. We should all be grateful for what we have, and not worry so much about things we don't.
  16. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Thanks, buddy. Sage advice.

    Yes, they do happen. Anyone can take the "no" in their arms and run their whole life with it, until they hit the wall where they are witnessing one with their own eyes.

    My own bar for miracles is high. They have to be proven beyond any shadow of a doubt.
  17. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    200 days? Nice. Good to see that the boots are still clean, baby!
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  18. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Luke. Sometimes it takes a little bit of will to keep them nice and shiny :).

    How are things going on with you these days?
  19. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Oh 200, you are now in what's uncharted territory to me. For such a dire problem, you sure have a very positive attitude. Many could learn from you!
    Saville and CleanBootsBaby! like this.
  20. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    Thank you, my friend, I appreciate it!

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