After a long hiatus I am back. I haven't checked in since March, so it's been 9 months. I've been back to almost daily PMO and it's really spiraled. It feels as strong as it ever has, but I've finally reached the point where I'm sick of it. My whole life lately has been about avoiding feelings it seems. Whether that is through PMO or food or buying shit I don't need. Physically I feel awful, my diet is horrible and I know I eat to medicate just like I PMO. I'm feeling very low and depressed. When I wake up I usually PMO because I feel restless and I feel better for a moment, but then quickly feel the guilt and shame set in. Then I notice that for the rest of the day I am a miserable, irritable bastard. I procrastinate, don't make progress on projects and want to isolate. I know this is all directly tied to PMO, but for the life of me I don't feel like I can stop. I know that a lie because I've had some success, but when you're in the pit you feel pretty hopeless. My most successful time was last fall when I went more than 60 days with no PMO. Then the holidays hit me and I was triggered and never looked back. I know the best way for me to do this is to go cold turkey and utilize this group so that I what I intend to do. Any other suggestions?