I haven't been in contact with her for a few days, so I think that ship has sailed. I just couldn't get myself to do it. Your last part made me think...incidentally, I think the same is true for you and your situation. In my case, looking at my actual experience since last year and before that with my ex girlfriend, I have no issues with the dating process once I get the number/date. I was somewhat nervous before each date, but this has diminished greatly through experience and more importantly, once the date started, I was always relaxed, confident, talkative, funny etc. And I got laid on 3 out of 4 dates (the fourth being the infamous "your face is too feminine, I could never imagine kissing you" rejection ;D) and all enjoyed it and 2 fell in love with me. So there is no problem here, and I could see myself (to some extent) being successful that way, having plenty of dates and casual sex. Once I figure out how to get more numbers and dates, obviously, and can also replicate this with good-looking women. But anything beyond that is not in my reality and self-image. I am scared shitless of everything that happens after the first date. Meeting her friends or parents, going hand in hand through town, developing feelings (a major one for me), REALLY opening up (my strategy is kind of manipulative but effective, I open up very deeply and willingly about all the things I want to and completely and totally bury the rest...this makes me seem totally honest/trustworthy yet mysterious at the same time, for some reason that I dont understand, but it's obviously not real or sustainable or whatever). I'm really afraid of all of that if I am honest and that's why I'm always thinking of ways to avoid this situation and still get sex (first prostitutes, then this online dating/casual sex shit...). With the blonde girl...I was not at all scared or anxious about the meeting. I was scared about what could happen afterwards. First, she actually looked ok, so I was interested in more just based on looks, and second, I think her personality was ok and like "grown up", she had a job, actually had cool hobbies and interests and a personality. So yeah, I completely cock-blocked myself because I was scared that my desire to have a girlfriend could actually come true. Pathetic. In other news, my mood is better, though constantly on the edge as usual. I am obsessed with my diet again, which is a good thing, as it seems to keep my mind off negative things. I've also been thinking more about my goals, I will write about this later.