Ok: These last 2 weeks I've managed to: 1. Significantly increased my time spent learning a foreign language, and I've improved my understanding more in 14 days than I had in an entire year. 2. I learnt a new piece of Debussy piano music by heart. This is quite a challenge these days as my sight reading is so good (frickin' amazing if I'm honest), that learning by heart takes a lot of effort. So that's an achievement. 3. I've contacted more friends to arrange socials to try to fill in the time that I know would otherwise be free down time that would significantly increase risk of pmo. 4. I'm trying to increase my social contact with male friends in particular, as I feel this is good for me and seriously lacking in my life. Due to the nature of my work I work with a lot of women and gay men. I enjoy the company of my gay male friends, but I find I get more sense of bonding with straight guys. Generally my gay colleagues are less comfortable with physical intimacy, possibly because it is more sexualised in their eyes, I don't know. This is obviously also true for attractive female colleagues. I guess if we didn't receive enough physical affection as children, either from parents who didn't touch enough or parents who invaded (sometimes to not invade is the real invasion... parents fearful of their own emotions, fearful of damaging their kids), we are more likely to seek sex (in whatever form) as a substitute for affection we are craving. One belief is that these days both functional and dysfunctional people could develop porn addiction. I understand this is to highlight that it is a much bigger problem, affecting everybody, from every walk of life, and at every level of general emotional health. Though I disagree a little, and feel it is more correct to say that we are all, to some extent, dysfunctional, because our parents were too. Sexual deviancy is a starved body craving for human contact, and the more super sexualised society gets, the harder it is to genuinely find, or ask for, physical contact, a mirror for these essential human needs, without there being sexual overtones. You need to feel valued not because of how attractive you are or what you offer the other person, but simply because you are loved. So, where do people get the vast majority of their non-sexual physical contact? From their sexual partners. This is the best case scenario, though not perfect because we all bring with us our own baggage. The worst case is using porn as there is no intimacy of any sort in a life, anywhere. I am not saying sex and non-sexual human touch are completely unrelated, but the basis of human life, relating and connecting, formed by our first experiences as infants, are purely physical and emotional, and fear of the body, instilled by our parents, is exactly what makes sex so problematic, so potential damaging, and also so damn interesting. 5. Yesterday I got angry and depressed because a gay chap at work, as gay guys are often naturally very adept at, was making easy going conversation with a group of attractive girls, making them laugh, paying them attention etc. I went home, was depressed, beaten yet again by social anxiety, I wanted to tie a noose and swing from a tree at the bottom of the garden... But... This time I DIDN'T turn to pmo, and today I actually feel pretty good.