Journal to the Centre of the Self

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by TheScriabin, Jan 4, 2014.

  1. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Active Member

    Today was the first day in years I made breakfast and had coffee at home, breaking the habit of getting to my favourite coffee shop before work for a panini and cappuccino.

    A tiny but important victory, and money saved!
    Londoner likes this.
  2. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    Meaning you did that at your own place where no one bugs you?
    If so, fuck yeah independence!
    TheScriabin likes this.
  3. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Active Member

    I thank life for my recent pain, depressions and relapses. The more pain I allow myself to experience the more I see the picture of the reality I have unwittingly created for myself more clearly, the uncomfortable picture I am blanking with porn use. Every ounce of pain is a gift. I am alive after all, and that is why my body is putting me through hell, until I start listening to it better.
  4. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    That might be a bit nihilistic, but its also kind of true.
    Where I in the cookie industry, you'd get a cookie now!

    Take care man. One day you'll listen alright, till then, enjoy the fireworks!
    TheScriabin likes this.
  5. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    I agree: it's very easy to fall prone to the overwhelming sexiness of a woman (in porn or real life) or the warm nest feeling. It's something we should master on our way from boys to become grown up and mature men. Staying solo for a while and getting our shit together will be a valuable phase for most.

    However the right women actually can inspire us to become better men. Women complement us, if we can handle them. They will get us out if we are stuck in our "cold minds" and will present us with new challenges so we can grow.

    If you stay alone you can only get so far in life and I have yet to see a widely successful and respected man without the presence of a woman (that is not his mother) in his life. But of course being alone is better than being with the wrong women. If you constantly pick the wrong women or get rejected by the women you desire there might be something you have to learn first.
    cjm and TheScriabin like this.
  6. cjm

    cjm Well-Known Member

    Women can be wonderful, rejuvenating, inspiring, energizing - all the rest of it. but there is possibly another side to things I think

    for example, yes having a solid relationship and a good woman by your side might inspire a man to be better and go further in his career, but they equally might stifle a mans creativity and effectively stop him form pursuing his dreams too

    i can think of several examples of the top of my head where relationship or family commitments have stopped a man pursuing his interests/dreams - and in may cases they have been happy to do so. I myself have been in this situation before, my father didn't write his second book partly because my mother was upset that she hadn't spent much time with him for so long - i can think of many more examples.

    I think this can be the case especially in interests outside of work, for most people time outside of work is limited and having a committed relationship (or even more so - i can imagine - a family) usually takes up quite a bit of time and energy

    As i am sure there are many successful attached men (this is hardly surprising given the default status of being attached in our society) but im certain there are many successful unattached men, or men who prioritized their work over their women and subsequently divorced (perhaps more than once even)

    its nice to look at women in this spiritual and fairly romantic sort of sense, like in "the way of the superior man" - yes women are like great, powerful forces of nature - like the ocean, still and beautiful one moment then raging and turbulent the next, but all their tests are for our benefit to help us grow and become better men, and so on. I like this perspective and i dont doubt the validity of this was of thinking for one moment. However you can look at them and relationships in another way, they can be a pain in the ass, confusing, confused, self centered, opportunistic, manipulative, hard work, consuming, fickle, etc

    afterall, "alone" is not really alone. we still have friends, family, colleagues, this board - its just single. As i mentioned society is very much geared towards couples so there is a lot of pressure on people to couple up - but if you think about it there are advantages to staying single for a while - even a long while, especially if, like me, you have strong doubts about wanting a family and children etc

    @TheScriabin still thinking about the girl - how are ya?
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2018
    TheScriabin and Londoner like this.

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