Wow, this is tough. I have had girlfriends my whole life. It wasn't until the past two years that I noticed I was having difficulties getting and maintaining an erection. I even sought the advice of a doctor who told me it wasn't normal for a man my age at 32. I received a prescription of Cyalis which turns me into an instant porn star. I found this site looking for answers for my problem. As a result, I quickly took aim at eliminating my porn addiction. Like many others, I have been captivated by the ease of watching multiple porn videos with quick ease to feed my addiction. I found comfort in dulling my sexual desires with the quick access to porn masturbation for years. However, I am now convinced this has led to dysfunction and I want to eliminate it from my life. So far, I have not viewed any porn for over 16 days. I have had sex twice with a girl I see and I did masturbate without porn once. The inner urges are strong. I have thought many times about how nice it would be to pull up porn on the computer. The last couple days have been the hardest. I can feel some advantages of restraining. Mental clarity seems to have improved. Natural feeling in my penis seems to have improved. Moreover, there seems to be a more aggressive edge in pursuing women in public. I do feel sluggish at times when I wish to binge on porn. The convenience of online porn truly is a drug. Anyway, I appreciate the site and hope to gain momentum as I focus on re-calibrating my brain. Any words of advice or support will be appreciated.
Day 17, no porn. I have been so busy at work today that I have not had any time to think about porn. Most of the time, the porn addiction comes into play when I am drunk and bored or hungover and bored. I guess my brain is really looking for a jolt of dopamine. I do feel my brain activity has been quicker. However, I may have slower progress due to two orgasms through sex and one orgasm due to masturbation. Both times during sex I used Cyalis which works like a miracle drug for me. The one time I orgasmed through masturbation was without porn or Cyalis. This erection was 60 percent. Not much excitement, but I had the release. Overall, I my body still needs the release of orgasm through sex or masturbation. However, I have been successful in eliminating porn. I feel the strong mental urges to view porn, but I find inspiration though this board and others struggles. My main goal is to eliminate porn all together and rewire my brain.
Careful with the cialis. I used it for the last 6 years. Eventually I needed 3 or 4 pills to get hard. But it isn't real. I still couldn't feel anything down there. It's a false positive. Stay away from it all and let the natural touch of a woman work it's magic. Until then don't rely on anything.
Congratulations on taking this step. Others will tell you that you should refrain from masturbation and sex for the most speedy recovery, and they may be right. One thing to watch out for is the "chaser" effect--real sex during recovery sometimes increases the urge for PMO. Not sure about the Cialis. My PMO-induced ED was so bad that Viagra didn't really work. But the essential point is no porn. Ever. And you've got that one down. If you stick to that, I'm convinced you'll reboot completely in the end. Stay strong!!
Thank you for the support. I feel great about avoiding port for 17 days. I definitely have days where I feel my brain starting to go in a trance. During this trance, I try to rationalize the use of porn. However, so far I have been strong and turned to this forum when I feel weak. I realize the use of Cialis is probably a result of my porn addiction. A year ago, I started hooking-up with the hottest girl I ever hooked up with in my life. However, I had problems getting an erection despite physical attractiveness of the woman I was seeing. I felt absolutely terrible to know I was with a women that any man would find physically irresistible, yet I could not even manage to sustain an erection. What the hell was wrong with me. I went to a urology clinic and the Doctor had almost a disgusted look on his face and told me this isn't normal for someone 32 years old. He said my problem was mental and probably not physical. However, he did give me the prescription to Cialis. Maybe the Doctor is aware of porn induced ED, but did not feel comfortable asking patients? Little did I know my ED problem was a porn addiction. Moreover, my prescription to Cialis and the ability to sustain a rock hard erection with the most beautiful woman I ever hooked up with just intensified my addiction to porn. The better the sexual experience I had, the more I fed into my porn addiction in an attempt to continue taking my sexual desires to a new level. A month ago, I realized the chemical dependence my brain had with pmo. I depended on the dopamine rush it created. The easy access to a wide variety of porn videos became my favorite drug of choice. I finally came to understand my brain was addicted to porn the same way I can become addicted to alcohol or drugs. Ultimately, I will ween myself off of Cialis. During the present time, I am taking it one step at a time and trying to completely eliminate porn. Thanks for your support. Like me, I am sure many of you use this site to help them stay strong when you start to feel weak.
Day 19. I feel bored and lazy. It would be nice to have a quick PMO relief. Going to stay strong. I am at my weakest when I am a little hungover, bored, and looking for quick dopamine hit. I am hoping the urges are actual signs/inner struggles that my brain is rebalancing.
I am now three weeks into my no porn pursuit. I had sex twice and masturbated twice during this process. However, no porn has been involved. I can tell you my libido has gone through the rough and I am uncomfortable with the thoughts going through my head. I found a balance with PMO that diminished my sexual desires and kept me from being a sexual deviant. I have improved feeling in my penis. Moreover, I fantasize about being sexual with most women I see on a daily basis. At least with PMO, many of these feelings were repressed and under control. Over the past year, I have had a sexual relationship with a women I find extremely attractive, but would never date because she is not the type of woman you would introduce to your family. I have been able to achieve sexual performance with Cialis while maintaining the sexual relationship and a PMO habit. The good news is I can perform without Cialis. The bad news is I am feeling emotionally tied to this woman even though I know a committed relationship would not fit. Abstaining from PMO has made me more sensitive where I didn't care in the past. Overall, I feel this is positive progress, but frustrating in the same sense. I need to stay strong.
Continuing to go strong. No porn. I did have a fantastic rendezvous with steady girl which lead to sex twice last night. The entire day I was walking around with a hard on waiting for the experience. I am still popped a Cialis to make sure the experience lasted all night. Overall, I am happy the excitement of the encounter made me excited the entire day before we met up. However, I should have resisted the Cialis to test out my natural erection. I get so excited about these encounters that I like to have the pill as back-up to make sure the night is action packed. Despite many claims the pill makes it hard to orgasm, I was pretty excited the first time and completed within five minute of actual penetration. The second time I was equally hard and had much better success. Overall, I would say that abstaining from PMO has improved my sex life. I feel sensation from my penis and I have increased mental clarity. Moreover, my sex drive has increased to levels that frankly scares me a bit. I am very lucky to have a willing female participant that enjoys sex more than I do. I will spare you the details as we do not need temptation. However, I am finding the no PMO process has been very beneficial to me and also allowed me to maintain my current relationship. The ultimate test will be whether I can maintain my libido while giving up Cialis. I feel much more confident now that I have given up PMO, but I still have work to do. So much of this process is mental and not a physical reaction. I realize Cialis is supposed to treat physical symptoms of ED, but damn it doesn't do something for me physically to turn me into something that makes me very happy. I will say, the feeling after having two orgasms in one night after sex is almost debilitating. My body almost went into shock and I had a feeling of complete relaxation. I could have died a happy man. Why do orgasms have to feel so good. The dopamine rush is so strong that it is no wonder PMO is so powerful. I am thankful to have made it more than three weeks without porn. My situation is stunted because of multiple sex orgasms and two masturbation orgasms. However, no porn and I do feel a mental difference. I am going to try to cut-out masturbation all together and just depend on sex. Moreover, I will try to cut-out the use of Cialis. Lastly, I have a strong desire to create a sex tape with my current girl. This has always been a fantasy of mine and I think I can pull it off. However, I think this may be counterproductive to my no porn ambition. Does anyone have any insight on taping sex with a partner? I have always fantasized about doing it, but I am worried that it would feed my desire for PMO. I want to be able to live my fantasies, but I don't want to kill my future progress
