Journal: The path to being more awesome.

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Imbetterthanthis, Apr 8, 2012.

  1. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Cool thanks for the tip.

    Day 32-35: No PMO sorta I guess.

    Definitely no MO because i was at a bachelor party out of town for a few days. Of course we got the bachelor a stripper and I to a lapdance. My dick was dead at first but then I just focused on teh feel of the girl on top of me and looked into her eyes...then she gave me a quick nibble on the ear and boom huge wood that I kept until 2 minutes after she was done. The thing I noticed was that I was more turned on by the experience of feel her body on mine and looking at HER rather than her girly bits.

    However I explain it, I'll call this P since it was not a true real world experience more a physical manifestation of the stuff I used to look at on the computer.

    As for other observations, I'm definitely feeling more comfortable approaching and talking to girls. My attitude tends to be "hey i'm just talking like i would talk to any stranger right? So what if it just so happens that she's a pretty young lady."
     
  2. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 36, 37: No PMO

    Viscious morning wood....it's about damn time. I feel like libido is coming back. I'm pretty sure that things are on the upswing considering that I check out even the most average of women and think "yeah i'd do her."
     
  3. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 38, 39. No PMO, nothing to speak of really. I've been exhausted since my trip. Want to go out to meet women but physically can't peel myself off the couch. Approaching my previous personal best for PMO in a few days. I guess I can't technically match it because of a couple instances of brief P and strippers at a bachelor party, but regardless defnitely no MO.
     
  4. forevergone

    forevergone New Member

    lmao me too dude, some girls id never even imagine fucking while on PMO. i would basically bang anything now, its so fucked up how much porn has effected us.
     
  5. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Haha yeah I can't believe how much more "cute" girls turn me on. Only stunners used to turn my head, now they make me gawk. Cute girls used to be just eh, now I'm like daaaaaamn. Average girls used to not even get acknowledged and now I'm like why not. Lol.

    anyways back to business day 40 no pmo....and not even a chance. Busted up my ankle and was to painful to even focus on urges
     
  6. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 41: no PMO.

    Was at a bar and i was just standing there buying a drink. I left a tip and the dollar was floating across the bar because of a breeze. I put my hand on top of it to stop it as the female bartender went by....she put her hand on top of mine for a few seconds then took the dollar. Later I was standing there as she walked by and we made eye conctact.....she shot me an undeniable fuck me smile with big doe eyes for like 5 seconds. Holy shit.
     
  7. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 42: BAM! Streak has ended. M and O yesterday. Did without using porn. Was a totally different experience than in the past. All day I just felt pent up and horny. Finally I decided that I had to whack it but I laid down ground rules: no porn, no fantasizing, slow pace and i was going to only focus on the sensations. If i came I came, if not i would just stop and put my dick away. Well let me tell you I can't believe how friggin good it felt. My hardness was a little spotty but overall just the sensations were awesome regardless. I thought i was going to spackle the ceiling when I O'd lol.

    Overall, I did relapse but I'm happy that I didn't let old habits take over. Instead I used this as a constructive experience to learn how to be in touch with more natural tactile stimulation rather than visual stimulation (something that has hindered me in the bedroom in the past eg. if i can't see tits and ass i'm not aroused). Funny thing is I feel such relief today like i'm not all pent up and on edge. Definitely no chaser effect either.

    I feel like i've made excellent progress, therefore no need to beat myself up like i would have in the past. No need to go back to day zero.

    Therefore.... day 43: No PMO
     
  8. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 43-50: Looked at P briefly, was super horny and relapsed....honestly, been having a dry spell with women and just wanted to see some pussy for once. Got my fill after a few minutes realized the slippery slope I was descending down and turned it off. I really have to go out and crush some real pussy....i'm dying of blue balls right now and fear that i'm going to start whacking it.
     
  9. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 51: Goddamnit porn demons get out of my head. Why after all this time am i having intense cravings??? I think my returning libido is part of it but it just sucks that porn is what i feel compelled to turn to.
     
  10. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 52-56: been using internet less which is good because it's causing me to avoid triggers. I'm being triggered easier and I've had one brief P relapse in the past 4 days. I think just being on the internet in general will be better for me. I find that my usage of the internet in general mimics my former porn usage. For example, surfing for long periods of time with no real purpose, opening multiple windows to look at multiple websites. Totally innocent yet feeds into those old habits.
     
  11. Imbetterthanthis

    Imbetterthanthis New Member

    Day 57-60: time to refocus. Relapsed today on day 60. I don't know why but curiiosity aka old habits caused me to seek and briefly watch porn.....didn't whack to it but masturbated with no fantasy a short time later. This seems to be my trend.....i go a long abstinence followed by setbacks and then another long period of abstinence from pmo. Sooo I guess I'm due. One positive new development is the general decrease in internet surfing. I'm cutting back because I feel that my surfing habits mimic porn use. I've noticed similar improvements to no pmo....lol I think I was internet addicted too!! Anyways back to another no pmo challenge starting again today. Wish me luck!
     

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