Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted :)

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Nickolas Duval, Aug 14, 2012.

  1. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Thank you for the congratulations and your support! I really appreciate it :D
     
  2. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Thanks Diz! 56 days is a great accomplishment. From day 50 until day 70 I found it hard to have faith and be patient. Keep your eyes on your goal and you will get there. It is defintely worth it :)

    Good luck!
     
  3. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Day 104: 26 - 11 - 2012: No more counting

    I am currently 104 days without PMO. I think I will stop counting. This will be a life without PMO and I simply dont want to count the remaining days of my life. ;)

    I still think my libido is increasing and my erections are improving as well. I got a few spontaneaus erections the past few days. I guess this will be normal from now on, but I still have to get used to it :)

    I went to the gym again today. Really nice. I am back on track and I cant wait to have an even stronger body.

    Today I felt crappy. I think I demand a bit to much from myself and I have to take one step back. I spent a lot of my time worrying, complaining and thinking about the things I am missing in my life. This is really stupid, because I actually have a great life haha. There is always something to complain about, but everybody has something that isnt perfect.
    Now I am going out drinking with a friend, so I will make something of the remainder of this day :)

    Good luck with your challenge(s)!

    Gr. Nick
     
  4. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Congrats on your success!!! ;D It is such an incredible success story!!
     
  5. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Thanks Ace! :)
     
  6. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Day 110 without Porn: 02 - 12 - 2012:
    It has been a while since, so I thought that its time for a new update in my journal.
    Everything is still going great: No porn. I cant even picture myself doing it again.
    Yesterday I MO'd for for the first time. It wasnt that special. Its actually kind of strange that I was MO'ing that much in the past.
    I have no urges and no chaser. So thats good.

    I will use a schedule from now on. I will allow myself to MO once every two weeks in the weekend (to make it easy to remember). I will use this schedule as long as I dont feel any urges or some kind of chaser-effect. When I feel urges/chaser I will no longer use my schedule and I will stop with MO.

    I am feeling great. Due to lack of sleep I have skipped one workout session last week. I will do that session today, so that I am back on track. Furthermore I am trying to enjoy my life more and to be more present. I am trying to be more aware of the nice things in my life. I find this very hard, because I catch my self thinking about things I have to do in the future or where I want to be and what I have to do in order to get there. I dont know how to make this easier, but for now I am trying to ask myself what I can be happy about right now as much as possible. This works to become more present and aware of the nice things. The problem is that when I go on "automatic pilot" I fall back in my normal thought patterns. I think it takes time. I guess there is some progress, because in the past I wasnt aware at all and now I am at least grateful at some moments :)

    Gr. Nick
     
  7. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    I just read a post from Damatoran I really liked:

    www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=2781.125

    Its very true. Think about this if you want to reboot :)

    Gr. Nick
     
  8. viking80

    viking80 New Member

    Re: Journal of Nickolas Duval: 100+ days without PMO

    Sorry for not beaing here for a while, I have been busy with all kind of other things than internet.
    Your progress is really good, 100+ days is gound. And I like that you manage to keep up the good spirit!
     
  9. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Hi everyone! I am Nickolas Duval , I am an addict.

    It has been a while since I posted on this forum or even since I visited this website.

    My journey started approximately half a year ago on the 14th of August. I woke up that morning in the bed of a blond girl. I spend the night with her without being able to have sex with her. I was too tense, I wasn't aroused and I was constantly thinking about why I was not getting an erection. That morning I drove back to my place and I felt like shit. This wasn't the first time that I felt awkward and ashamed of my disability to have sex with a hot girl. That day I finally decided to take matters into my own hand (it was actually more like keeping matters out of my hand, but you get the point...).

    In the beginning it was quite hard to stop masturbating, thats how I remember the first days of my reboot at least. After a while the flatline began. This was annoying, but it made rebooting easier. Before I knew I reached 30 days. After 1 month the flatline varied with days/periods of high libido. During my reboot I tried to have sex and every attempt failed. There where times I lost hope and thought that rebooting simply didnt work for me. Sometimes a voice in my head tried to convince me that I should quit. Luckily this forum helped a lot and I kept faith. Apart from rebooting and resisting porn, I noticed that I wanted to improve other areas of my life as well. I started sporting 3 times a week. This was a plesant side effect. After a while I came close to my 100 day goal. The last 20 days were easy. I visited a therapist to talk about my thoughts regarding sex. It turned out the guy gave me a few useful tips and insights. At the 23th of November I finally reached 100 days. I didnt had sex with someone, but I felt a lot more relaxt and comfortable with the idea. I considered my reboot as a succes.

    Currently its the 16th of January. My reboot was a succes. I have met the blond girl (that made me start my journey on the 14th of August) again. A few weeks ago I slept at her place, just like I did the night before I started this journey. That night we had sex. My dick was still a bit hesitantly, but it worked. I was relaxt and felt comfortable. After that night we have had sex more often. Everytime my dick "worked" better and better. I felt relaxter and relaxter.

    Am I writing this post because everything is going well? No. Two hours ago I watched porn..
    Why? Because everything was going so well I cant really imagine where I came from. The thought of watching porn sneaked into my head a few weeks ago and today I couldnt resist. After I PMO'd I felt misserable.

    Today I realized that I am an addict. There is no difference between a guy addicted to alcohol, marijuana or cocaine and my porn addiction. Somewhere in my head there is the need for the dopamine rush that watching porn gives me. Thats why I decided that I have to continue some sort of active participation.

    My personal goal: A lifetime without porn.

    Action plan: No porn in 2013.

    I will use the following milestones:

    - 1 month
    - 2 months
    - 3 months
    - 5 months
    - half a year (17 - july - 2013)
    - 8 months
    - 10 months
    - No more porn in 2013 (31 - 12 - 2013).

    I will not commit myself to write every once in two days like I did in my 100day challenge. I will write whenever I need it or when I have something I want to share.

    Today will be: Day 0: 16 - 01 - 2013


    Thank you for reading. Good luck! :)

    - Nick
     
  10. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Good luck man! Great to see you back on that wagon :)
     
  11. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    What's up Nick buddy!?! It's alright man, nothing terrible don't be harsh on yourself at all imo. Just go on with life. You went what, over 4 months without porn or masturbation? boss.
     
  12. livefreeordiehard

    livefreeordiehard New Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Hi Nick, I'm glad to hear you made it and that you're able to have sex.
    One slip-up/relapse isn't the end of the world buddy. Just keep on having sex with your blonde girl and stop thinking about porn. ;)
     
  13. sak1234

    sak1234 Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Good to hear from you bud! Congrats on all the progress you have currently made. This one relapse will not hold you back too much.

    You are light years ahead of a lot of us here since you have begun rewiring to the real thing. The fact that you have had successful sex multiple times means you'll probably be affected less by the PMO relapse.

    Keep your chin up and move on. You are getting closer and closer to your goal and will eventually get there.

    Best,
     
  14. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Thanks man. I just watched porn once. My problem was that I noticed that I watched porn because of an urge and a curiousity. I wasn't able to control this, because I couldnt really remember what the consequences are for me when I watch porn to often.
    I am glad that I decided to write in my journal again :)
     
  15. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Thanks. You are right. The act of watching porn once doesnt harm anything. I decided to revisit the forum again, because I want to remember myself how my life was when porn played a big role in it. I have to realize that I am better of without it.

    How are you doing Modus? Seems like everything is going fine! Dont know if I was around to congratulate you, but: congratulations with your green star :)
     
  16. Nickolas Duval

    Nickolas Duval Rebooted!

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Thank you. This relapse isnt that harmfull. I agree. My problem was that I watched porn out of curiosity and that I wasnt able to control myself or talk some sense into myself. If this happens once it could happen more often. Thats why I decided to act now and revisited this forum :)

    Thanks for the kind words. I think you are right :)
     
  17. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Haha thanks, yeah it's going to be a blue or purple star this time as you can see from my counter ;], hopefully a purple one... definitely a purple one.
     
  18. viking80

    viking80 New Member

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Although I have managed to avoid PMO, I had the same kind of strange urge once in a while. We started our journals more-less at the same time and as you can see, we arrived to the same point. We can have sex again, changed our lives, but for some stupid reason porn is still there in our brains.
     
  19. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    Hey Nick!

    Awesome reading an update on your journal! Good luck with it! Those are some big goals!! I just made a post about visualization and it's importance in the reboot so I know exactly where you're coming from. It will help in the long run for sure!
     
  20. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: Journal of Nick Duval: Rebooted! Back to give my addiction the final blow

    You did it once - I'm pretty sure you can do it again, with ease. ;)
     

Share This Page