Re: Journal of iHaveSeenEvil - start of 90 days Day 16. Mornings are always the worst. Not having Ashley in my life is the hardest thing I am dealing with. It has now been a solid week since I told her to never contact me again. It's getting better but Jesus fuck do I miss her. I'm not really sure how I feel anymore. The physical pains are kinda subsiding from the past few days. I just don't fucking get why only 1 girl turns me on. I guess this kinda gives me hope that I can still can have sex with someone but detrimentally depressing that I've lost her forever. Maybe I'll recover faster? Maybe not. Every morning I just wish I never woke up. My human sexuality class is morbidly depressing. Talking about love and fucking and fulfilling sex lives, and everyone laughs when ED is mentioned... just kinda makes me feel shitty. We had an exam today and I finished it in 8 minutes before anyone else in the lecture hall. It was all multiple choice and easy, it was just awkward. I'm also doing very well in my quantum evolutionary psychology class, so hell yeah to myself. I feel pretty removed from reality. Feel like I'm constantly not getting anywhere with girls. I am constantly making new friendships and bringing girls to my place but iono, nothing is clicking. Might be for the better right now. I just want a girl to kiss me! =p I know a girl won't just fall into my lap, but maybe someday I will click with someone. I used to be so good at it when I was a teenager. I even had shit self-esteem and hated myself back then. I want my fucking life back.