Journal of an 38 yo autistic with severe ED

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by amanwed, May 24, 2023.

  1. amanwed

    amanwed Member

    I have a severe ED. But it wasn't always like that. The first time I masturbate my knees was shaking! I was 19 years old but never had a real sex with real women. When I first masturbate, it was with porn. And I begin to use porn every day with masturbation. Several years later, I develop Erectile Dysfunction. I could not make love with a real woman. My father had organized a sexual encounter with a mature woman and I could not maintain a erection so it didn't work! I never have complete sex with a woman because of my ED!

    I also live with autism. I believe my autism is due to abnormal gut flora. So I want to restore my gut flora with a good diet. So I have two goal. Heal my brain and my ED and change and restore my gut flora for a balanced one.

    Hope me good luck! I will keep this updated.
  2. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Hi amanwed,

    Sorry to hear about both your ED and autism. The ED should get better with rebooting (eg for 60 or 90 days) and you can always use viagra.

    Are you getting help with your autism? Do you have friends who are also autistic or other friends to support you.

    Stick on this site and read some of the success stories. Also I made a list of suggestions to Burnt Tao which you can find
    if you put Burnt Tao into the search box and read his thread.

    Welcome and all the best.
  3. amanwed

    amanwed Member

    Thank you DBA for your words of encouragement!

    I did not get help with autism because there is not a lot of services here in NB in Canada. But I don't need help to be honest. I have everything I need. One man clean my house every weeks (laundry, dishes and cleaning the house) so that's help. I need to kick myself in the butt and going into diet (low carb) so I could function the best I can.

    I did make in the past a 3 months straight of no Porn, Masturbation or Orgasm. And it did not cure my ED. Probably because a lot of men take way more longer than 3 or 4 months. I heard some need at least 2 years or even more! I give up and I live my life the best I can. Until I make a dream that I met my soulmate but she had to give up on her love she had for me. That make me realize that I have to heal my body and my brain, else, I might meet my second half, I won't be able to keep her close to me if I do not heal.

    Some days I wonder if my coffee consomption need to be remove. Is caffeine bad for a reboot? It's a stimulant after all. I am addicted to it but I will see if I need to remove it or not.

    I am on Cipralex because I have OCD. But I heard that it very bad for sex drive and sexual function. So I will change for Trintellix which do not have this side effect. I will change by beginning of June.

    I decide to stop PMO forever because it's very bad for the brain. And remove triggers of all kind. Hope it will cure my ED!

    I keep this updated.

    PS: I do have friends that very supportive but I don't see them often.
  4. DBA

    DBA Active Member


    No, coffee doesn't make rebooting more difficult. But too much causes anxiety and poor sleep.

    Over ED, yes you need to reboot for 90 days. This works for many here, and if not just use
    viagra or cialis. It is not cheating.

    Be careful moving off the Cipralex on to Trintallix. You have to cut down over weeks or it causes
    a deep depression.

    Both cause sexual side effects, usually delayed orgasm (DE) or an inability to have one. A medication
    I am on for a side effect of severe kidney disease does the same. I have tried MO to find out but
    you will only know if you try it.. But no PMO!

    All the best
  5. amanwed

    amanwed Member

    Sorry to hear that you live with severe kidney disease! You think your medication cause ED but are you sure it is actually the case? Or maybe you just don't be rebooted yet?

    Trintellix have the reputation to cause less sexual problem than Cipralex. I am under supervision of a medical doctor that will call me in 6 weeks to monitor my progress. For two weeks I have to take 10 mg Trintellix, 10 mg Cipralex. Then, 20 mg Trintellix and no Cipralex. So it should be safe.

    I develop an addiction transfert. I drink alcohol but also junk food like ice cream sandwich. The fact that my medication suppress my sex drive also suppress my determination to go into diet and follow it for long term. I have to work on my determination (and willpower). I hope Trintellix will help me with that. Once I will restore my sex drive, I will be motivated to improve my gut flora with special diet and doing exercice program and keeping it up with long term.

    Thank you for your support, I keep my diary updated. :)
  6. amanwed

    amanwed Member

    On this Sunday it's been 20 Days. I want my progress to continue non stop until I get rebooted and my brain work the way it's suppose to work. I want my brain rebalanced. Right now I feel like my brain is hacked or hijacked. My brain want his fix of dopamine. It want high dopamine fix like when I eat junk food like ice cream sandwich. My brain has to learn to give up the idea of high dopamine fix.

    When I drink coffee, my brain get a dopamine fix, then after the hit, it want a bigger hit like alcohol or junk food (high sugary food), etc. I wonder if my coffee consumption cause problem. Because it's like if my brain has been trained to expect high dopamine fix, and than bigger and bigger hit, non stop. Maybe I should give up on coffee and tea so my brain stop expecting a good hit of dopamine? Maybe I should give up everything unhealthy that get me a high dopamine fix like junk food, coffee (and tea) and alcohol? Stopping coffee would be the most difficult. I will try to reduce my consumption slowly.
  7. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Yes cut down on coffee It will decrease anxiety and excitement.

    Over my kidneys, I am very near the need to have dialysis, and ED is very common indeed at this stage
    (and at my age). But of course the addiction to p0rn didn't help.

    Hope the change in your medication is helpful.
  8. amanwed

    amanwed Member

    I hope my medication would be helpful too. I think several months on Trintellix will tell me.

    Today I'm feeling worthless a little bit. I went on dating site, Bumble and POF and it look like nobody is interested into me. I have put my best pictures of me, I don't understand what I am doing wrong. When I would have been rebooted, it will be a real challenge to find a woman, a date! I really don't know how I will do it.

    I work as public servant. Some women smile to me when they see me but nobody seem interested to wanted to learn to know me. Is like a woman interested into me a very very rare ressource! I will have to increase in my position and get a bigger social status (higher than her) so I can truly interest few women, hopefully one of them I will be attracted to her. And I would have to be lucky to find a bigger position than the CR3 I am in.

    That's my though for the day,

  9. DBA

    DBA Active Member


    Remember that you are depressed. That is why you are taking the medication.

    And when depressed we all feel that others are not interested in us. First you
    need to get less depressed and then things won't look so bad.

    If you want to know how depressed you are, go online and fill in the Beck depression inventory.
    It will tell you how bad your depression is.

    I would be happy to talk to you about it if I know your score.

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