Journal for mutual support 3.0

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CidGuerreiro, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    @tsmith1302: I knew Hannah Montana jokes were coming -_-

    @loro: what can I say, I like my fruit fresh.

    My journal has turned into a teenage girl's diary, but I don't have much to say about either PMO or rebooting. Brief flashbacks, some damage incurred on the ED front (but already getting better), little to no cravings. Porn has become so utterly boring again.

    But I really miss cuddling with a pretty girl. I hope to fix that next saturday.
     
  2. furor germanicus

    furor germanicus New Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Did I hear "Hannah Montana"? Sir, you've got my full attention. Go get her, bro. :D

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Much easier to control....
     
  4. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    @Metal: perhaps it's a control issue, but I think it goes more to my frustrating teen years. Girls in school wouldn't even look at me, not even as a friend. That has left a wound me in me that hasn't closed yet.

    Also, I've been with women in their teens, 20's and 30's. It's not a pathological thing. I could be happy with an older woman.
     
  5. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    It was just a tongue in the cheek comment no need to take it seriously. I should have added a smiley at the end.
     
  6. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    That pedobear pic still cracks me up.
     
  7. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Been talking a lot with the other girl, Hannah. She starts the conversations, which is great.

    What's gonna happen? Will Cid Guerreiro find love in this mysterious girl? That and much more in the next episode of Journal for Mutual Support 2.0 - The Series.
     
  8. Aussie_85

    Aussie_85 Guest

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    i cant sleep and LOL.

    Your a funny guy cid.

    Just don't "try" and fall in love.

    Do what everyone else does bro,date someone your attracted to - and if the sparks fly,put your penis in her vagina.

    Don't sweat it to much if this schoolgirl isn't keen for your Brazilian shlong don't lose your shit and relapse.

    yu are going to get denied,you will have women lead you on.f you accept this and it doesn't happen - at least you were prepared - and if it does happen,you are prepared.Just don't have everything riding on This girl" or even "a girl".

    It does come across as that way man iv'e brought this up a few times with you.
     
  9. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I know I need to be careful not to get ahead of myself. I'm the kind of person that gets attached really easily... that should be a good thing, but in the real world it sucks BIG TIME.

    Despite what everyone thinks, though, I can keep my shit to myself and not let them know I'm "needy". As I've said before, Hannah seems like the kind of girl that'll dump you in a flash if you let her think she holds power over you. I hate to walk in the thin line between too little and too much attention, but that's how it is.

    Anyway, thanks for commenting. I appreciate your realistic views of the world. I do need a shot of reality every now and then.
     
  10. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Hahahahahaha...
     
  11. Aussie_85

    Aussie_85 Guest

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Theres' no need to over think it to much man.There's heaps of really awesome women out there who want a sensitive nice guy,some chicks want a guy who is needy - they like to play the mother nurturing type. - in other words not all of them are mind-game playing bitchs.

    The main thing to worry think about is not them thinking your needy - but them just losing interest or something and you not being able to handle it if something goes wrong.Like you go on a date for example,and she doesn't want to see you again after the first dat/doesn't answer your calls/TXT's - or straight out tells you No or she doesn't want to date you - how would you handle that? that's a possibility and it's happened to me before - back when i was 'normal' and i just brushed it off,it's nothing personal.
     
  12. sak1234

    sak1234 Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Agreed. As long as you know the kind of guy that you are and are comfortable with it, you'll be fine.
     
  13. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Well, sure I would hate to be dumped. I don't think anyone's 100% immune to rejection. You might handle it well and not let it get deep into you (and that's the right thing to do) but something always gets through, specially when you're a loner like me.

    I'll admit, my expectations regarding this girl are significantly beyond the level of safety. Losing her now would suck immensely.

    I don't think it would make me relapse, though. I don't even want to watch porn right now. It became boring again. In fact, it was kinda boring since the first time after those 93 days of no PMO. I'm still addicted to porn (once an addict...), but that insane rush from indulging the addiction is simply gone.

    I'm already getting ahead of myself by taking everything for granted. I'm calm and confident for our date tomorrow, so we'll see.
     
  14. Aussie_85

    Aussie_85 Guest

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    this is the problem - as i said dude,i handled rejection when i was normal - not now.I have no idea how i'd handle it now i'd probably have feeling of self doubt and it'd fuck me up.

    You just said if you 'lost' hannah now it's suck immensely,bro you haven't even dated her yet - as i said what if you fuck her and then she dumps you?

    Just try and emotinnally work through this stuff man,if she does do that - you can always go and puck up another girl. :-X don't put all your chips on one number mate - thats all.
     
  15. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I know, I know, I am trying to keep my attachment and expectations as low as possible. It is hard, though. I've always been one to get easily attached to women, it's part of who I am.

    I'll just take things as they come. No use thinking about anything now. One day at the time, right?
     
  16. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I've noticed this to be an issue with me as well. Any of you gentlemen out there have an insight or tips on how to not give a damn?
     
  17. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    The trick is to be comfortable and happy on your own with or without someone in your life. That way you won't feel like you're losing out if someone isn't with you and if someone does accept your advances then it's a bonus.

    But I've tried giving tips in more depth, but Cid is hell bent in believing that a relationship is the holy grail to life. I can't change that mindset only he can and he'll continue to ''give a damn'' until he is willing to let go or learn the hard way which is get into a relationship with someone and create a world of hurt which will end in heartache. Saying that at least he'll have learned through first experience I guess.

    I just don't understand why anyone on here wants to jump into a relationship while battling this addiction. I can understand if you're already with someone or have known a person for years and they know you, but bringing this problem into a entire new relationship is crazy in my opinion.
     
  18. Sammy3000

    Sammy3000 We are no longer the hollow men

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Yeah. As someone who came out of a serious relationship this January... Heartache? Man I almost died. Literally. Multiple times.

    It took THAT to get my ass kicked into gear.


    To be more specific. I wasn't too into the girl. She was way into me. I thought hey better this than being alone. Ended up growing feelings for her. Caring for her...
    Dug myself deeper into a toxic relationship with a highly volatile, reactive person.
     
  19. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I doubt I'll convince anyone here, but I don't really think relationships are tickets to eternal happiness. Had a handful of friends who ended up more miserable with than without it.

    I could use an active single man's life like the one Metal is currently living instead of a relationship. I just don't want to be with a woman once a year or every couple of months. It's that simple. And since I don't feel ready to approach, befriend and date women on a regular basis, a steady relationship is the way to go for me to have the constant female company I so much desire.

    My addiction is barely a problem at this point. ED is pretty much gone and so is social anxiety. Those 93 days crippled the addiction in a way that I wouldn't imagine possible.

    Anyone who's been around this journal for a while knows I roll better with a woman by my side. Pam might have turned out to be a crazy bitch, but being with her was an immense help. Not even sure I would've made it to day 93 without her.

    Finally, I understand how terrible is the pain of losing someone. But for years I've dwelled in such emptiness that even this pain would be welcome, so I could at least feel something. For many times I had believed that I was dead inside and would never again be able to feel any human emotion. It was desperating.

    Thanks for commenting, guys.
     
  20. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Had some pretty strong urges to MO in the morning. My technique to resist them is to pull my cellphone and listen to some music. "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor is just the kick I need to get off of the bed.

    I'm glad I've overpowered the impulse of self-saboge. Don't know how an orgasm would affect me now, but MOing in the very day I've got a date would be plain bullshit.
     

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