Journal for mutual support 3.0

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CidGuerreiro, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    Thanks for responding! And yes that's kind of what I was expecting. I'll just have to accept it will always be a bit of a problem. As long it's gets better I can live with that I guess.
  2. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    @hopeforchange: I believe there are many things that can affect the quality and consistency of your erections. If you have a steady partner then you're better off than most of us, so don't give up :)

    Speaking of erections, I had sex today and it was "meh". I got hard and was able to put on a condom (that's usually where my dick dies), but her p#$$y was simply locked tight. No way in, until I got bored and my dick got limp. We tried to make it work for about 20 minutes, and when things finally started I was already close to orgasming from jerking myself off so much. I tried, I really TRIED to hold it but blasted too soon anyway.

    I feel like crap when the girl doesn't reach an orgasm so it was shit for everyone. That means I'm not texting her anymore, lol.
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2017
  3. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    How are you Cid, how's life in general going?
  4. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Hey Cham, thanks for passing by.

    I haven't been around for a while. As far as PMO goes I'm doing "ok". Not too bad but not great either. I'm finally getting K9 up again to save from those 5 seconds of stupidity that alwaysget me to peek and edge to porn. About my life, there isn't much going on right now, I'm kinda going with the flow and waiting until I have the dates for things thatI want to do.

    My dating life is going well too, I managed to have sex a few times in the last two months or so. Might get a steady partner in the near future, though I'm not sure yet whether or not I'll make her my gtirlfriend. We'll see, I won't overthink that.
  5. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Day ?????

    Hello everyone. I haven't been around much as you can see. I went on a decent amount of weeks completely free of porn, no peeking, no edging, but these last few days I fell off that wagon a bit. No full blown relapse, my counter is updated on that matter, but even peeking and edging is damaging to me, I can feel that.

    I think I'm going through a flatline of sorts. Low motivation, low libido (sometimes no libido at all), low quality erections... You get the picture. It's probably temporary, I've felt like this before and it always goes away.
  6. BruceWayne

    BruceWayne Building the life I want, day by day...

    How's life going for you Cid? Making progress towards your goals?

    I think that's much more important than whether you peeked or wacked off to porn a few times.
  7. Mendoza

    Mendoza Well-Known Member

    I'll second this.

    Even writing a couple of lines to see where you're at will provide some energy. Remember that low energy and tiredness are reversible. Put in motion a few of your goals and feel your mind and body awash with energy. One of the things I learned recently is that change -- no matter how small, of the regular everyday -- is a producer of energy. You are doing marvellous on the PMO front... now bring your attention towards your life ambition.
    BruceWayne likes this.
  8. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Hey guys. Thank you for passing by, it really brings me a lot of joy whenever I see you guys around here.

    Life is not so bad now, I'm actually preparing for another trip overseas. The bad part is that it brings a lot of anxiety, and my response to anxiety is often peeking and edging to porn. It's an escape, really. A way for me to forget about everything for a few minutes.

    These last few days were not so good though, last week I was really sick, then I got better but ended up edging a lot out of boredom and anxiety. I really want to start a new counter for edging. I haven't had a full blown PMO relapse in over a year (this is Day 465 after all), but edging hurts me a lot too and I need to keep track of it. Sometimes I bring myself really close to orgasm and feel like I'm bullshitting myself.

    Anyway, I have a lot of stuff to do. Might get the new counter ready later today. Thank you again guys, I hope you're both doing well.
  9. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Day 1

    Ok, it seems I'm unable to make a new counter for edging, so I'll just count the days manually.

    Let's start small. One week clean, how about that? It can't be that hard, can it? No pun intended.
  10. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    It can get pretty hard, in more ways than one...
  11. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    You literally just came back from the dead to make that joke, didn't you?

    That's what I like about you.
  12. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Day 6

    Having some urges, but still going.
  13. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Day 0

    Aaaand, start over. Edged a little out of sheer boredom. Not too much harm done, I managed to pull myself out of it before things got ugly. But I don't want to feel like I'm bullshitting myself, so I'm starting over.

    Six days is not so bad, it's a lot better than edging every day. To be honest though, I don't really care about counters. I just want a goal to follow.
  14. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Ok, finally reaching that one week.
  15. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Made it to one week 100% clean, then ended up edging a little. But it was really just a little.

    Those "relapses" aren't nearly as frequente or as bad as they used to be. It'll take that as a victory.
    1234dyl and 100DaysMission like this.
  16. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Cid, well done on getting one week clean. That's a great achievement. Quitting this addiction is such a difficult challenge, any sign of progress is to be celebrated. Here is to many more days clean!
  17. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Thanks, man!

    I agree, every progress counts. We often think of 90 days clean, one year clean, but those wins are all built of small victories.
    1234dyl likes this.
  18. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    So true. Win right now and it will soon add up! And try to enjoy the process I guess instead of thinking 90 days is miles away. I think that approach can be quite destructive. So one day clean is something to celebrate :)
  19. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    Typical Tsmith lmao
    I feel the same way. Relapses aren't as significant for us anymore. I think its because we have been to change our lifestyle, so that porn relapses are momentary lapses of judgment or boredom, but not as inherently compulsive as it used to be for us a few years ago. Keep grinding my man!
  20. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone.

    I've been away for a while, travelling here and there. Now I'm back and so is the struggle I guess.

    I've been doing "ok" with porn, still edging every now and then and using porn to trigger myself and then masturbate to fantasy. That's a bit concerning 'cause it feels like I can't masturbate without porn right now. The more I think about it the more it concerns me. I might be going through a flatline of sorts as my libido is a total roller-coaster right now. It goes all the way from "raging boner" to "dead dick" and it changes overnight.

    I hope everyone is doing well!
    1234dyl likes this.

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