Journal for mutual support 3.0

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CidGuerreiro, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    WAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
     
  2. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    The relapse happened because I felt like rebooting wasn't important anymore... that I didn't needed to carry on with it.

    Now that my mind is clear I realize that I must go on with this, so I'll do my best to avoid binges.

    I'm convinced that as long as you keep trying and avoid the binges you'll eventually be healed.
     
  3. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    It's a learning process, Cid. Your homework now is to really feel how tedious going through Day 1 over and over again gets, hold on to that feeling, and replay it when you go on a good streak again and feel like you don't care.
     
  4. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    @Pedigree: agree, sucks to be back at day 1, but life's like this I guess.

    @plasticity: the girl is cute and all and really nice, but I don't know...

    I remember an entry from TheUnderdog's journal where he said that he could only get hard with super hot chicks. I think I'm living something like that, so this girl (I'd say she's a 7 out of 10) doesn't arouse me much by now.

    We'll see. Thanks for commenting, guys!
     
  5. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Despite all the mess of the last two days I feel like the benefits are still here. Just need a week or so to get back at full speed.
     
  6. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    [Day 1]

    Another girl steps in!

    I felt a bit blocked while trying to be flirty but it all went smoothly. We had a great night (no sex, but intense making out).

    I don't think it's a coincidence that I embraced no fap and now I'm doing so much better with the ladies.

    When you get your mind off of PMO you start seeing things under a different spectrum. You become available. While you're filling your needs with PMO you're not available (even if you think you are), so girls cannot reach you, even if they want to.

    If that was during my days on the Porn Abyss I'd have pussed out and stayed at home. Now I have more drive than what I know what to do with.
     
  7. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    [Day 2]

    Feelin' well... and gonna try and take it to the next level with one of those girls! :D

    I'm still feelin' some craves for porn but no way I'm gonna fap to it now.
     
  8. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    My brain is trying to convince me that it's okay to do it... haven't been experiencing this for some time now. Didn't missed it.
     
  9. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    [Day 3]

    Going for day 3. Cravings hit at night, mostly.

    Feelin' a bit down but I'm going out with a girl tonight, so I've got nothing to complain.
     
  10. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Night cravings suck.

    Seems like we're in a similar place as we both relapsed very recently. Best of luck to you Cid. Let's do this!
     
  11. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Thanks, pal!

    I think I'm still experiencing some chaser effect from the relapse. Maybe you are too?

    We should be fine as long as we keeps ourselves busy and not wandering in useless thoughts.

    Cheers!
     
  12. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I had a chaser affect after my relapse and then relapsed again.

    I've been "clean" for like four days since then. Today is just one of those "life sucks" kind of days. :(
     
  13. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    [Day 4]

    I should be happy that I'm doing better with girls, but I'm not.

    Maybe this is the beginning of a flatline or just a mood swing. Either way, I feel like crap. Also had a fuckin' dream about an "ex" that didn't helped me at all.

    This and the cravings are giving me hell right now.
     
  14. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I just decided to PMO, but somehow managed to say "NO!".

    Put my head under a freezing shower and the urge is gone for now.
     
  15. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    It sounds like you're still experiencing those PMO-related mood swings.. But it's good that you didn't give in. Patience and persistence, my friend. Don't worry about being good with girls or not. Just stick to finding yourself, first. I still am.
     
  16. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I don't understand why people make a second journal.

    The whole purpose of having a journal is to keep everything in one same place.

    If you have more than one journal it will be difficult for people to see your history.

    This was actually the only rule this forum had. Only one journal per member.
     
  17. hereshoping

    hereshoping New Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I think people create new journals because its sometimes hard to look at your past failures and still feel optimistic. When you start a new journal it's like wiping away the past and renewing your resolve. Some people need that to stay positive, other people don't.

    At least that's my thoughts on it.

    Good job resisting man. If you can beat the urges when they're at their strongest, you can beat them any time.
     
  18. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    I restarted my journal because after my relapse my latest entries didn't made sense anymore. I didn't meant to break any rules.
     
  19. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    [Day 5]

    Nightmares. Nightamares everywhere!

    Crazy thing.
     
  20. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: Journal for mutual support 2.0

    Closed my eyes for 5 minutes and slept the whole fuckin' day. I hope it doesn't lead to late night PMO.
     

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