After nearly a year of trying to quit, making excuses, relapsing, having the ED go away when I abstained and then come back again after I relapsed again and again, lying to my woman... I'm done. I just can't do this anymore. It has eaten up too much of my life already. I am going to have to face the depression and boredom that I know will come, just like it has every time. I am going to work my way through to the other side. I have tried everything - porn with no masturbation, masturbation with no porn, edging...every possible combination. All of them have failed. I've always ended up right back where I started. I'm tired of it. I am writing this so I can re-read it to myself on those very hard days I know that I am heading for... I thank all of you courageous men (and women) who are with me. It means a lot, and gives me hope. I hope I can give something back to you all as well, and I acknowledge that as a part of my healing process. And I know I am bigger than this.