I can't believe it took me so long (I'm 35) to realize that I just need to give up all this crap. Been M-ing since I was 12-13, porn started when I was in my early 20s. Never got into rough stuff like rape, even porn flicks didn't interest me. 90% had been "amateur" variety. Never done it because I had this enormous urge to watch porn. It was mostly because I was bored or horny. Have had some porn watching sessions that lasted for hours, but mostly it would be 30-60 minutes and I was done so to speak. Have had erection issues with females all this time but since it was mostly a 50-50 split, I told myself I was ok, stuff happens. Then a couple of years ago it wasn't a 50-50 split anymore, it was more like a 10-90 split. I had a suspicion that it had something to do with porn because I would be perfectly hard while watching porn but nothing with a female... and I still didn't do anything about it. Started dating this girl I am really into a couple of months ago. Got to the bed stage last week... and yeah, nothing. So..... I AM DONE. I don't need this. Without trying to sound like a self absorbed arrogant jacka$$, I am a good looking guy (or so I am told) who has no problems with meeting women. I work out 5-7 times a week and play different sports. I am very sociable and a funny guy (or so I am told). Next time you feel like checking out some porn site (if that ever happens), go have a beer with your buddies or go talk to some chicks at the coffee shop. I DO NOT NEED THIS. Today is Day #6. Tomorrow is gonna be Day #7. In 1,000 days, it will be the day 1,007. Because I am DONE with this. I can spend the rest of my life coming up with excuses why I didn't get hard and assuring the woman I am with that it is not her, she is beautiful and I just have this, um, problem... Or I can get my life under control and start being normal. I choose the latter. BRING IT!!!
Re: I WILL beat this Your story is quite similar to many of us here. Remember that it's not going to be easy but nothing is stronger than our motivation. Do whatever it takes to quit porn. The real test would be on days when you feel unmotivated, depressed, horny and when you feel like there is no way out. That is the time to act like posting here, staying away from computer, working out harder on those days. Good luck my friend.
Re: I WILL beat this Thanks man. I think the days I get extremely horny, I will call one of my female friends who has been trying to jump my bones for a while and I have been avoiding her because, well, I know she would be disappointed. Take it for a test drive, see what happens
Re: I WILL beat this I love your declaration to QUIT. & though im half your the age, im glad to see that you realize your problem now than sooner. Wish you the best of luck :3
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 7 - Woke up without a morning wood like on Day 6. I am, however, full of energy. I wanna go lift weights for an hour and then run 5 miles. I do not think my boss would understand that though and wants me in the office bright and early. Anyway, the energy is the only difference so far between Day 1 and Day 7. No urges to PMO or to do any one of the components of PMO. So far, it's exactly the same pattern as what I had back in June when I cutback on PMO (tried to allow myself once a week). Hopefully it continues this way. Back in June I started getting raging morning wood after a couple of weeks, was getting hard while making our with a girl within 3 weeks. I was like "Wtf, where did this come from, I haven't had this in years?" NOW I know. P.S. I think I have been in a flatline since Day 1 (including the memorable night when I decided to change my life). I went out with my boys bar hopping Sunday and was pretty hungover yesterday. Normally I am pretty horny on days like that. Not yesterday. Absolutely nothing. P.P.S. In all my previous attempts to quit/cut back, somewhere in the 5-7 day range I'd go "wtf, why am I not horny?!? Shouldn't I be horny as hell right now, I haven't done anything in a week?" And then I would go "test" myself. Not this time, I know what's up (or not so up, if you know what I mean), no testing needed.
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 7 Part 2 : So, this morning I was full of energy and during the day I have had this weird feeling in the office. And by weird I mean AWESOME. These rushes of warm through the body. Little tingling in my arms, shoulders, back, legs. Some sensation in the groin area. It seriously felt like my body was thawing from the nuclear masturbation winter I put it through. I know it is probably temporary but it felt awesome. No desire to watch P or M. No more Os for me by myself. I will go hire a dollar crack ho before I screw up myself again.
Re: I WILL beat this As another weightlifter, I am proud of you for being willing to give up the porn, that shit is not worth your life. Some guys never have the courage to drop that crap, yet they complain about why they can't even get a boner, or make excuses. Now don't ever give up.
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 8 : - Woke up with a semi morning wood - HOLLY BATMAN ENERGY! I can't wait till the work day over so that I can go pump some iron! - Confidence is crazy. I have been told by my boss that I intimidate co-workers by the way I carry myself. They haven't seen me in 60 days yet.... - Feel a bit aggressive, probably related to two bullet points above. Hopefully nobody bumps me, I might punch somebody in the face - Seeing good looking women triggers a primal twitch inside. I like it! - My little friend seems to be a little bit active when I think about the night I spent with the girl a week ago - No desire to look at P or M, no porn flashbacks or whatever I know all this will probably change, but if I ever think about looking at P or M, I'll remind myself about how I feel right now. Because it's pretty awesome. P.S. Going out of town on a business trip next week. Will do my best to pull a chick out of a bar. Even if I can't go, it's not like I will see her again
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 9 : Nothing new and exciting to report. The energy level is not where it was the last a couple of days which I kinda sorta expected. A pretty crappy timing, I need to be on top of things this afternoon at work, have an important meeting to attend. Ah, well, I'll work through it. I did notice over the last a couple of days that mini me seems to increase in size a bit as compared to Day 1 and in general seems to be a bit more lively when I think about the girl who finally caused me to pull my head out of my ass and get myself under control. It even responds to touch when I take a shower in the morning. Maybe the blood flow is improving after I beat it into a complete submission, who knows. No urges to watch P or M, the only flashbacks I get are my actual sexual encounters from the past. You know, with real women, the good ol' days, pre my porn stupidity
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 10 : Nothing new to report, same ol', same ol'. No P, no M, no O. Was reading up on good oral sex techniques (because I like to keep my ladies happy while I'm dealing with this self imposed time out and I am generally dedicated to the continuous self improvement) and a link to a web site I used to frequent popped up. I looked it, laughed and closed the browser. Been there, done that, no thanks. Had a married chick all over me at the bar last night. She told me that in her first marriage, her husband never had sex with her in 3 years. And before I could guess, she told me he was addicted to porn. I would be right on the money!
Re: I WILL beat this I bet that was a hard reality slap. Thats what NOT to do in the game we call "Life".
Re: I WILL beat this Um, yeah... she told me she had pretty much begged him to have sex with her for 3 years, told him she would do ANYTHING... and they never once had sex throughout the whole marriage, even on the honeymoon!
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 11 : More of the same. Not sure if it is the "flatline" because I sure feel some movement when I get flirty texts from the girl I was with last week. As far as P and M, I feel like somebody will have to put a gun to my head to force me do all that stuff again. Went to play soccer last night for the first time since quitting. So much energy and aggression, almost killed a couple of guys. Awesome! I have been thinking about something. Last year I decided to quit drinking alcohol for 60 days just to see how I feel. In terms of brain functionality, THAT is what no PMO reminds me of. The clarity and quickness of thought, the wit, the ability to express yourself. ALL that... Who could have thought... Tonight I will probably hangout with the girl from last week... There is a very good chance she will end up in my bed again. There is also a decent chance I won't be up to the challenge again, so to speak. However, my oral skills have always been top notch, so she won't be THAT disappointed But I think I will tell her everything. I don't think there is any point in not telling her. She will only think it is her and she isn't hot enough. I didn't care about all others in the past year or year and a half, so it didn't bother me if they thought they weren't good looking enough. This one is different.
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 12 : Nothing too exciting to report. Obviously no P or M. Didn't get a chance to meet up with the girl last night. I am pretty damn horny. Hopefully I will run into a willing female at Sunday Funday activities to help me out with my problem a bit
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 13 : The energy is back after a temporary hiatus over the past a couple of days. Had to fly out of town for work this morning, could barely sit on the plane for an hour and a half. Wanted to jump up and run up and down the plane to work off some of that energy! The confidence is on all time high. I have always been somewhat shy although I could hide it pretty well with my personality and a constant barrage of sarcasm and cynicism. I can't believe how only 13 days of living like a normal person can change that. I can now talk to random strangers, talk up women in bars without problems. Women smile at me all the time, I can actually make hot chicks break the eye contact, not the other way around. Speaking of which, picked up a number from a 25 year old chick at a brunch yesterday, let's see where that goes. Will be traveling for work a bunch in the next month. For a lack of a better word, will try to whore it up as much as possible. ED, no ED, who cares. Need to use all the confidence somehow. Plus I can't have my oral sex skills get all rusty, I take pride in what I can do with my tongue! If women found me to be a charming guy with a great personality before, they better be ready for me when I complete my 60-90 day reboot and become normal again.
Re: I WILL beat this DAY 14: Woke up at 5:30 am which became a normal since I quit the stupidity as I only need like 6-7 hours of sleep these days. Was kinda bummed not to have morning wood. Started thinking about the work day, then out of nowhere, BAM!, about an 80% boner for a few minutes. Actually started laughing at myself - "Yeah, that's great! 2 weeks ago you had a beautiful woman in your bed and couldn't get hard. Now you get a boner while thinking about a damn training class. Great timing dude!" Obviously no PMO today. Set up two dates for the weekend during my training breaks - Friday with the chick I picked up the number from during the Sunday brunch, Saturday with the girl from two weeks. Kept on getting hard thinking about ending up in my bed with the Saturday girl. Nothing pornographic, just thinking about having normal sex with her. Hopefully I can prove to her that it wasn't her, it was me. The day after the ED disaster she actually called me to talk to me about it and told me it is really a huge hit to a woman's confidence when the dude can't get hard. Starting to wonder if I was addicted to PMO or I was just addicted to orgasms. Since I decided to quit, I haven't had any cravings or urges or anything like that even the days after getting drunk. I really never had any "triggers" besides myself, so once I eliminated that, it's almost a non issue. Of course, it's only day #14...
Re: I WILL beat this - 2 weeks in as of 8/21 DAY 15 : Woke up without a morning wood. The thought that I will probably have a woman in my bed this weekend and a touch gave me a 80-90% boner for a few minutes. Didn't edge, didn't have an urge to MO. Was just laying there enjoying the great feeling of having a boner in bed without having to stare at the screen. I have been using internet in my hotel room for 3 days now. I don't have any blockers installed on my work laptop (at home I blocked everything on my router just in case) I have absolutely 0 desire to watch P. That thought doesn't even cross my mind. The same goes for for MO. I am obviously not flat lining, but I have no desire for PMO. It's like my brain finally told me "Get this shit outta here, please." A true story of growing a big sack while on no PMO. Last Sunday went to a brunch (and bottomless mimosas). Sat down by the bar next to a chick, started a conversation right away (wouldn't happen during PMO days). She got dumped a couple of days ago and was waiting for her best friend to show up and console her. Some dude sat down next to me, we started a conversation too (again wouldn't happen during PMO days). The friend finally showed up and she was pretty hot. I ended up getting her number, the dude next to me ended up getting her number too. All 4 of us agreed to go to a dinner on Friday. Chicks left and the dude was talking how the hot chick will have to choose between me and him (the dude got nothing on me). I texted the chick yesterday, reminded her about the dinner plan. We exchanged a few texts and I was like "You know what, fuck that, I didn't get her number to go on a group date" So, I texted her "I was thinking... Wanna make it a dinner just for 2 of us?". Woke up this morning and there was a reply from her "I thought you would never ask". Two of us are having a dinner on Friday. Just a month ago I would just go on the group date that I had no interest in because (1) I'd wanna be nice and (2) I wouldn't have balls to force the issue. How sad.
Re: I WILL beat this - 2 weeks in as of 8/21 Hey!. thats a huge step. Im glad for you and your huge balls. (you can take that anyway you want to.)
Re: I WILL beat this - 2 weeks in as of 8/21 Getting bigger by the second. I am finally developing that slightlly arrogant arseholish streak I always wanted to have. It beats the crap out of the nice guy syndrome.
Re: I WILL beat this - 2 weeks in as of 8/21 DAY 16 : So far so good. Get semi hard every time I get a text from the girl I am gonna see on Saturday. They aren't even sexual in nature. I am just happy to see her this weekend. I won't mind if my no O streak ends at 18 days this weekend if you know what I mean PM is gone forever from my life, that's all there is to it. I was afraid that on the business trip, I'd get bored in the evenings and do something stupid. I have been even close to that. Ended up having a marvelous eye fucking session an attractive chick at the hotel last night. Then run into her group at a casino later on. She told me where her group usually hands out in the evening. Maybe I'll see her again tonight, we'll see it. Got two interviews lined up next week, director level jobs with more responsibility and status. Time to leave my POS job and move up. By the time I go, it will be 3+ weeks on no PMO. Maybe a little bit too early as I'd like to get aaaaaaaaallllllllll the confidence in the world, but I am sure I can manage it. I am sure as hell far away from the what I was even a month ago.
