You are not special be you are unique. Being thankful for what for small things is a part of breaking through the depression. The thing is porn doesn't just desensitise you to sexual media but also to the rest of life. This is where I think 'monk mode' might be useful; hopefully it will turn down the volume of sexual thoughts and turn up all the other things that are part of life. It is a shame your colleague was so aggressive about some exploring a different point of view. You could ask her if she has read the book? Thinking of quick rebuffs isn't the be all and end all. Have you try verbalising when you feel anxious, for example saying 'your stance is making me anxious.'? BTW What kind of music are you into?