It is time

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by TheScriabin, Jan 21, 2020.

  1. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    I read an interesting quote about fear the other day....

    "what is the opposite of fear? If you look in the dictionary you'll probably be informed it's courage. But I believe the true opposite of fear is growth".

    I know how you feel. For years I worked as a professional photographer but very recently had to give it up. I found there was always some company or individual willing to undercut me and it frustrated me. And I know what you mean in the sense that you can lose some passion when you associate what you love with work. Stick with it though, it's what you know and what you're good at. Don't be disheartened, if you weren't good at it you wouldn't have been able to make money doing it for so long.

    Sorry to hear that. Again, I can relate - had a similar run in with a woman in her early twenties a few months back. It really bothered me for a while. After a few days I got over it and I'm sure you will too :)
    Living, TheScriabin and Pete McVries like this.
  2. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    I'm here to seek support and offer it to others, nothing more, nothing less.
    TheScriabin likes this.
  3. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    Sometimes replying can become a problem. Often I think what to say but don't actually say it. I get this with emails.

    That's interesting that you are a classical pianist and composer. I too am open to most types of music, but including some recent commercial music. : -)

    Do you have anything online?
    Boxer17 likes this.
  4. Haller_79

    Haller_79 Member

    That was a good read man, I can certainly relate. I just think as we get older we become more aware of our shortcomings, I know this is certainly the case for me now. Things that when I was younger I tried to fight back against and actively change, I now just accept as weaknesses that I need to try to navigate as best I can.
    positivef likes this.
  5. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    My last post.

    I have accepted my fate. I can't quit porn because when I try, I just exist in the barren emotional wasteland between the virtual world and the real world. I cannot ever make life happen for me. I haven't been with a woman in 2 years. I haven't danced with anybody in over 6 years. I can barely pay my bills and rent. So it is less painful to just shut down, grow a shell and enjoy the pleasures of the virtual world from time to time. I have never felt so distressed and hopeless before.

    I know what's going on in the world, I see the challenges facing young Western men. I'm sure you'll find your way, you're smarter, tougher, more courageous than me, and you will make a better future. But I can't join you or be part of it.

  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    @TheScriabin , come back in a week and see how you feel. Just as your emotions are at a peak today, next week these same feelings may be ebbing. Sending you support and good wishes.
    Boxer17 likes this.
  7. Rudolf Geyse

    Rudolf Geyse Well-Known Member

    Yes @TheScriabin sending you much strength for this low patch my man. I don't consider myself stronger than you in the slightest. For me it started with acknowledging my hopelessness and weakness. You might be right in the starting blocks at last, rather than at the end point. If it's ok with you I'd really like to carry on the conversation... can I inbox you? Let me know (unless you've already left the forum for good and you won't see this)...
  8. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Maybe what I say next will backfire, but I will say it anyway.
    Acknowledging that we have been unable to get rid of PMO is a good thing, it is accepting reality.

    Take a breather for a few days, like Saville said, take a long walk and then continue.
    In times like you described it, the challenges which white western men face today, and I see the dangerous climate we live in every day, the fake media, fake news and Hollyweird which work on the destruction of the family, values and morals and self worth especially of the young white generation, one can easily loose hope.

    Now, more than ever, people like you, who understand and can see what is going on, are needed, who are starting to learn to stand up and speak up for what is right. Start small. Situation were there is not too much dangers involved, like with friends and family and grow from there.

    The obstacle is the way. Vires acquirit eundo, we gather strength as we go.

    The situation with the coworker was an oportunity to grow, you did not use it, but next time probably you will be better prepared and less timid and probably you will be able to speak up a bit more and with no anger and with logic without getting emotional. That is important to not to get reported to HR. Maybe better leave the workplace for the last place to speak up unless you can do it in a calm and logical manner without anger.

    About PMO, I found it usefull to change something else in life first, to grow the beliefe system that it can be done and change is possible. Like a diet or exercise or riding bike or something like that. You don´t need money for that. There is a pdf book online for free, called Convict Conditioning, which is the exercise programm for prisoners who don´t have access to weights and the exercises start small, One can do one exercise a day, there are six, so sundays you have a day off, and each exercise has like different stepps of difficulty. And don´t get discuraged if you loose or forget a few days to do it, just continue the next day. And document each day to know exactly how many reps you did and on which stepp you are with each of the six exercises.
    If sports is not for you, look for something else, like reading 10 pages every day of books you are interested in.
    All the best.

    Here is a good video from Mark Queppet from today.
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2022

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