Hello Guys, The reason for writing of this post is that I am feeling pretty weird in last time. I experienced the most negative effects from Porn. Lost jobs. Could not graduate my Master degree in university. Sometimes I lost the connection with the real world and I lived in the virtual one. Finally I lost the love. Last year I loved a great women. We broke up because of the fact that I am completely unable to make sex. I have both opposite sex fails - Porn induced Erectile dysfunction and Porn induced premature ejaculation in same boat. I am failing only when there is a live women around me. Stimulated by pixels (Porn) I can get hard and continuously erection. After many books and articles I read I am pretty sure that the reason for those failings is Porn. Last summer I dated great girl. Beautiful and smart. We tried sex a couple of times, but it was disaster. Catastrophic, because of PIED and PIPE. We decided to broke up. I have more than 10 attempts to quit porn. All of them unsuccessful. I tried to remove it at all, but I could not. After I am aware of all negative effects and I realize that more negative effects probably are waiting for me, I decided to decrease its using. For last two months (exactly 52 days) I decided to stop edging. The edging developed to Obsessive - compulsive disorder for me. I was diagnosed by Psychiatrist friend of mine, who know about my bad habit. Since 2010 I cut the best scenes from videos, jerked off, edged for hours after hours, years after years. By this way I satisfied my sexual needs. For last two months I masturbate once, rarely twice per week. For 20 minutes I chose the preferably video. Cut preferably scene, and jerk off for 5 minutes on it. During last two months I continue downloading Porn stuff. I delete more than half of that because I find it bad somehow. Actually it became only archiving activity for me. Last 10 days I feel really weird. I look behind and I always see the following ugly picture. Fat 35 years old guy watching on screen how thousands of young people having sex, thousands of young girls acting in swimsuits or short skirts (my escalations are to non nude and jailbait stuff. I hate hardcore, group, shemales and ctr. I have zero interest to it.) jerking of, getting arousal, high and cut the best parts of those videos. I hate myself about that. I realize that most of those girls were really young. They are someone's daughters, sisters and wifes. I feel shame, guilt, sadness, anxiety and depression. I have no any suicide thoughts. I have zero libido and no motivation for anything. I have no desire even for Porn. I am full of apathy and indifference. I have no deisre to meet friends, dating new girls and meet people at all. I spent last weekends in bad reading books. Last Sunday I even did not stand up from my bad for the whole day. When I think to start jerk off and watch porn again I imagine how bad person and freak am I. I sorry for the lost time and energy durring the years spent in PMO and cutting the best scenes from videos. I have more than 70 000 cut scenes since 2010 till now. I have many beautiful things in my live. I have great family, mother and father. I have many good friends and people I can count on. I have interesting, exciting and well paid job I enjoy last two years. I have the money and opportunity to travel to many places. However it seems I am not able to appreciate all those benefits in my life. I hope I will not lose any (or all) of them soon. For the first 30 days after I stared my rebooting explained above I was practicing some outdoor activities. I started playing Tennis 3 times per week and I was on trekking every weekend in near mountains. There are many Trekking opportunities and mountains in my country Bulgaria. I felt really well by this time. I am wondering are the symptoms I listed above Flatline? How long the Flatline continues in average? Is this the first big step in my recovering? Thank you for the attention and for your answers in advance.
The flatline is mostly described as a complete loss of sexual energy and interest. Also, the penis has no life, no erections whatsoever and it seems really small, like it has shrunk. It can take a couple of days or a couple of weeks, this differs from time to time. Just keep going. Whatever helps you stay abstinent is good (as long as it's not another addiction). It's REALLY though to recover. I've done a lot of work a few years back. Then got a gf and was able to have sex with her. But my most recent bedpartner resulted in ED again so I figured I need to reboot a lot more. It really hurts whenever I fail in bed, only way is to keep going until we're healthy again.
Hi Rebooters, First of all thanks for your attention and support! I am pretty sure. I am in flatline. . There are some development of my case. First of all I have some questions. I will appreciate if you share your opinion about the points below. - Is it possible to reach the Flatline without completely removing of PMO? Just decreasing and almost removing of the edging? - Do you think that any pills or drugs can be helpful in the phase of Flatline? - Do you think that meeting with Psychiatrist is necessary if the suicidal thoughts and feeling meaningless sand pointless of my life obsessed me. I am mountaineer. In the middle of December 2016 I met great mountain girl during one day hiking in beautiful mountain Vitosha close to my city Sofia. We started dating. I felt in love (and I am still) with her. She is smart, beautiful, lovely, opened. I told about my Porn problems and PIED at first date. She was pretty surprised that some guys are able to maintain an erection only by Porn, but not by real person. She knows everything about my problem and I can say she is really supportive to me. I think my Flatline temporary gone. Last Sunday we went to Ice Skating together. It was her first time. I hold her hand all the time. She hold me as she was not confident on the ice. After that we went in a restaurant. She told be something like: "I know you are attracted by me, but we can be only friends. Do not think that I can be your girlfriend. You are nice guy, I have great time with you, but I cannot imagine intimate relationships with you. Please do not try to kiss me, hug me, touch me without reason." Before this contestation I had objective look at the situation. Even if she wanted I would not want involve her in impotence situations because of PIED. I know from my previous experience that this is pretty bad and frustrating for both sides. Many times before on our dates she told be that not seeking for boyfriend now. I am still in contact with her. She brings to me a lot of joy only with her presence. I hope we will continue to be friends and will have more beautiful moments in the beautiful Bulgarian mountains. However this conversation increased my Flatline. I feel terrible. I feel I am in hole. I feel I do not deserve, love passion and happiness. The only good thing in my life is my job. I am doing it with great pleasure. However after I leave the office I feel very depressed. My libido is almost zero. Mostly I am not able to get an erection even by Porn. Sometimes I relapse. However in order to maintain an erection I need to reverse at least ten different videos or to watch video with at least five girls on it. I know that my brain is no longer addicted to nudity. It is addicted to variety. I relapse twice per week in average. It continue between 15 and 30 minutes. I know this is bad, but by this way I need to release my sexual pressure and it makes me less anxiety. I have to admit that the videos by Gabriel Kalei Bocanegra, dude from the No Fap community for the Flatline makes me feel good. Every morning after I wake up I play them. Take a look After I watch it I feel better. I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted. I booked great ski vacation in Tirol Alps for the end of the month. I hope it will help me to feel batter. I feel sick and I need al this nightmare to finish. What can you advise me in this situation? How did you overcome your own Flatline? Have you ever had similar experience? Thank you,
A lot of guys report having depressed/suicidal thoughts while rebooting. Part of the process. Then again, some guys have a different case. Like me, I figured out I have been having depression since childhood. I thought it was linked to PMO, but it seems lik a separate thing. So this week I started seeing a psychologist. You have to estimate for yourself. A flatline can last a very long time. I consider it a blessing because there are no temptations in the flatline, so the chance of a relapse is really small. Just wait it out, it may take a few days, weeks or even months. Your libido will return, and in full force. Be ready when that happens. Sorry to hear about the girl not being interested in you. It sucks I personally I don't want to be friendzoned so my advice would be to stop seeing her at all if possible. In the end it only hurts because you want her and she doesn't want you.
Fancy an uneducated opinion? Because I have one, lol. It sounds more like depression and PIED than flatlining. From what I understand flatlining would only be happening after you remove the PMO as it's your body resetting. Seek professional help, it can't hurt but might make a major difference to your life (I can confirm from personal experience) Best of luck!
Hi Fellows, First of all sorry for the late response! There is some development in my case last days, but unfortunately not in good direction. It seems my Flatline gone, but not withdraw symptoms came after that. I will explain more below. Before that I will pay attention to your threads. @Thebeg Thank you for your post buddy. It seems you experienced regular Flatline and good symptoms came after that. I wish you no relapse and overcome PMO addiction! Actually with the mountain girl I have pretty well relationships. However we met each other rarely. I see from the Facebook that she meets other guys. @ErectusRepairo Thank you for your post. I am agreed with you that my post is not well educated. This is more like a suggestion. I have to admit that I have not read a lot of about Porn induced problems. My next target is the great book of Norman Doidge - Brain that changes itself http://www.stellarpoint.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/The-Brain-That-Changes-Itself.pdf According to the legend Noah Church Flatline could be met even after decreasing of using of Porn, but not fully removing of it. I am pretty sure I met it for a while, but it was not with its full effects and consequences. I am agreed with you about the professions help. I will find Bulgarian Psychiatrist with profile addictions. Guys, I have been in paradise. I love mountains and skiing. I spent wonderful week in Austrian Tyrol Alps. I had amazing time. It is heaven of the earth. It cost a lot of money, but I was saving 3 months and I have well paid jobs. During this time I had not any cravings for PMO. Because of this trip I collect 10 fully PMO free days. See some pictures from this place. However see what happened when I came back in home. The good thing is that my Flatline symptoms gone. I have motivation for work. I am doing well my job and I go to do that with high motivation and pleasure. Mostly I keep myself busy and distracted. By this way I do not pass any bad thoughts. My libido is back. This is the worst part. I am back to Porn. I continue edging and masturbating to Porn. I am doing that every second day. I mean one day PMO free and next day relapse. I still control the time of edging to be no longer that one hour, but sometime it takes two. I started again to cut the best scenes of the best movies. When I masturbate to Porn my penis stay hard for long time. Sometimes I masturbate on fantasies for girls in dark place, but in this case I cannot get it up 100% boner and I easy losing my erection. It seems PIED is strongly back. I realized that I can do nothing from my computer before I take PMO dose. Sometimes I have a lot of tasks, some of them related with my job. If I do not take PMO dose I am doing my tasks really bad with many mistakes. I realized that if I take PMO dose before that I can do my work well. I realized that my current fight is not for quitting PMO, but just for its decreasing. I hope and I fight to not lose my current job, because of my bad habit as it is exciding and well paid. I surrender! I reconciled that the Porn addiction is stronger than me. I live with that more than 10 years. I realized that the Porn is not my real problem. This addiction is only symptom, something at the surface. Behind that are many other things such as: ugly bad looking, inability to communicate with real women, not confidence, bad influence of my parents (I lived with them till 35) and ctr. All my sexual contacts in my very past were with prostitutes. There is no girl who wants close intimate relationships with me, and the problem is mostly in myself. I am desperate. I think there could be two ways from this point from here for me: - When I have cravings to visit a prostitute. I can afford it. First attempts most probably nothing will happens. We could only talk. After that my brain will be reset that the object of arousal is real woman, but not bad damn pixels. - I am planning to go to Drug rehabilitation community. I think my Porn addiction is not less harmful than Drug sand Gambling addictions. What do you think the better way is? I do not think that the targets for PMO/ PID recovering are possible for me. I cannot imagine to spend 90 No Fap days. However even if I spend it I need to find real woman after that. I need to replace PMO with sex. Before that I need to decrease my weight and to set me as better looking. I need to be more confident. I have read that the Flatline could be on and off. If it goes again I will write here. Meanwhile your opinions about my case would be very welcome and appreciated.
Has anyone tried taking Vitamin B-6 for flatline? I know I've felt sexually dormant at times and after a few days to a week of taking B-6 I wake up horny. B-6 lower prolactin levels. I take 100mg per day. Actually, I take B-100-complex (100mg of each B vitamin.) Just curious. It seems to help restore my "libido" so to speak if it's really low which it is from time to time for no obvious reason.
Hey Rebooters, I am back. @YellowMinion Vitamins could have good effect. Sometimes I take Vitamin cocktails and it make my mood better. However I do not think that ED drugs are good idea. They will back your libido, but it can take you in relapse circle. The better way is No libido, no Errctions, no desire and stay away from PMO. However it is not valid for myself. Guys last days I feel horrible. I have bad and suicidal thoughts. I feel sad all the time. I am not sure whether the Flatline is back, but the Depression definitely. My co-workers asked me: "What is wrong with you? Are you sick? You are not looking good." I made some mistakes in my work. My boss told be: "Take holidays next week. They will be fully paid." Probably I will make another ski vacation, but this time in Bulgaria soon. I attended meeting with a Psychiatrist next week. I think he will give me some pills. I hope they will be for temporary using. I know what the root cause of is. Last week I met mountain girl. She told me again to not try to have any intimate relations with her. Showed some bad attitude and it hurt me a lot of. I realized that during the time I have been in closer relationships with her I really enjoyed. She really helped me to stay away from Porn and to decrease its using to really minimum base. After she almost gone my joy of life hone too. I realized that with Porn I escape from the reality. I realized that there is no woman who wants to be with me and that is why I am Porn addicted. Almost all my previous sexual contacts were with prostitutes. This is because I am bad looking and probably bad persons. I watched this Ted talks video This dude Jason is so damn right. Porn makes you feel fake sense of approval. If you are rejected this is your oasis in the desert. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Just need to talk with someone. The girls are mostly not attracted by me. I am not capable to build relationships. I feel like a looser. I feel so ashamed when I remember who I chased girls in my past and they rejected me, some of them really brutally and humiliating. These days I not try to pickup girls. Sometimes I feel so ashamed only if I speak with beautiful women. Low self esteem and confidence. I need to work on that. I will be here after my meeting with the Psychiatrist. I hope it will be helpful for me. Greetings form beautiful country Bulgaria.
