Is it okay to want a girl out of lust only?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by hope2overcome, Jun 11, 2016.

  1. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    When I see these girls in short shorts in the summer, I can't imagine that the girl has an identity. Or, I just don't care who she is, I just want to have sex. Is this wrong of me? Should I focus only on girls that don't wear such small clothing? Or, is this a result of habitual porn use?
  2. mik

    mik Guest

    Well, that's the initial draw right? We want to approach women because of initial attraction, it's our sex drive that facilitates the confidence to do so.

    You sound like you want a deeper connection a lot more than I at the moment, but you can't possibly know what another person is like before you've met them right? All you see at first is how they look.

    I'm rooting for you here buddy, but it sounds like you might be going too far down the rabbit hole with regards to what porn use may or may not have done to you. I mean, how do you intend to turn this sexual attraction off if you decide you don't like it?
    Wouldn't it kind of suck to hate this part of yourself even though you may have no control over it?
  3. I see no problem with it at all.

    I'm not really concerned with moral grounds.. I mean seriously.. This new breed of 21st Century women don't think they need men at all. They are not nice girls. They DO NOT CARE about nice guys. All they want, is a big, strong, aggressive man to breed them. There are NO morals with them today. It's all BREEDING INSTINCT!

    As for recovery though.. I personally think there's no problem with it. I mean don't spend hours staring at them to substitute for PMO. But if you're in public and there's a hot girl and you glance over at her.. I don't see how that can be harmful.

    There's the NO AROUSAL group that believe even looking at them is basically PMOing.. which I don't think is realistic. If anything, feeling a rush when you look at an attractive girl is a perfectly natural thing.
  4. mik

    mik Guest

    Ha! your one of those guys. "Grr I don't like women because the majority of them find sexually attractive guys sexually attractive" ;D

    It's funny how you call yourself the nice innocent guy but your just as guilty of finding sexually attractive women sexually attractive ::)
    Would you prefer an overweight woman who's "nice" to a woman that is also nice with a healthy body weight?

    A lot of women aren't looking for an aggressive guy in the way you describe, they do not want to be beaten down. They just want a confident man that isn't afraid to take control of his life, a typically masculine trait. If you actually spend some time around women and talk to them they might be nice enough to tell you that info. You can only learn so much in your parents basement ;)
  5. EpicGanja

    EpicGanja Member

    I will be honest, I'm a satanist, judge me or not I don't care, the truth is different and not how you would expect. I think lust is a normal Instinct of a human, and should be embraced especially if you go hunt for real girls, some guys like to have sex with alot of different girls. and some like to have 1 sexual partner. But if you want sex with alot of different girls you should not go into a relationship. Because Satanists do not encourage cheating.
  6. mik

    mik Guest

    Just watch out for a chap named Kampf on these forums EpicGanja, I have a feeling you might have a slight difference of ideals ::)
  7. EpicGanja

    EpicGanja Member

    Well I know what a real Satanist stands for, and what the Church of Satan stands for. And I fear no one:)
  8. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    Okay, so i just read an article which helped me out some. The article basically says there are 3 separate pathways in the brain, lust, attraction and attachment, self explanatory.

    Today, I had a very mik and poisonousnake moment where I took the redpill and was feeling insecure about myself. The issue was with women wearing short shorts. I was kinda internally pissed off at how women could just walk around with their little clothing and create lust inside me. Who do they think they are? What's wrong with these feminists? How can exposing oneself to that extent be seen as an expression of security and strength? it's the complete opposite judging from how uncomfortable it must be to be shy yet wear shorts that are lingerie, basically.

    Then, after doing some thinking around and invoking my own experienced, I became secure knowing some things.

    I thought about this. The problem with it being the initial draw is, lets say we get married, wouldn't it be degrading the relationship to know I was once only interested in her for sex? That idea is off-putting to me and people like me. Notice this story that happened to me yesterday. I was studying at a library and then when I went to leave, I notice others behind me walking to the exit. one of the girls were hot as hell. So, I walk out and I knew she was walking behind me, I wanted a closer look. So, I pretend I went the wrong way and walked opposite me so I can see her. She was very attractive and wearing a long skirt, very conservatively dressed, yet I found her to be so sexy. Then, I walked back because that wasn't my way. I turns out she did the exact same thing to me. She turned her head opposite to me and watched me walk by. I didn't have the balls to talk to her. This is important to note because. She was dressed very conservatively yet I lusted for her but that's not all, I also found her attractive. So, the initial draw could be a body part but I learned if I am not attracted to her and only lustfully look at her then I lose interest. In fact, I wouldn't touch an ugly girl with a nice body with a ten foot pole.

    I pondered about this as well. I certainly was of this opinion as well. I mentioned the part of her looking back at me and me wanting to talk to her because I don't think that had anything to do with the lust part of our sex drive. Yes, it was an attraction between two opposite genders but it wan't lust. Instead, it was curiosity. I don't think she wanted to have sex right off the cuff, but she was curious about me and wanted to know me more, likewise, I the same. I think the confidence to do talk to her doesn't come from animal instincts stemming from sex drive but as due to a mental state and deep attraction which is virtually curiosity. I think if I had a good mental state(I feel like a loser) and followed my impulse of attraction and curiosity towards her, I would initiate contact with her.

    Absolutely correct. That's why we wouldn't attach ourselves to them. But, lust without attraction feels kinda dumb.

    I think most of us here have this problem of wanting to turn this feeling off only to repress ourselves and make that lust feeling stronger in seeking out erotic highs. I can attribute most of my relapses to your quote here.

    But, now I know that when I am lustfully drawn because of her short shorts, mini skirt or whatever doesn't matter at all until a deeper sense of wanting to meet her due to curiosity aka attraction takes over.

    Moral of story- see through the lens of attraction, attachment and lust will follow. See through the lens of lust only and porn will follow if not through a screen in person.
  9. Youngfella

    Youngfella Active Member

    It's simple. Just ask yourself what you want right now in your life: to be in a relationship with a girl or have sex with a girl or girls? Or more simply, do I want to be in a relationship or single? Both have their pros and cons. If you want a relationship, don't go just with the lust but you already know that but if you just want sex, then I don't see any problem. You said the words "I just want to have sex.", so maybe that's a hint to yourself.
  10. EpicGanja

    EpicGanja Member

    Exactly, good advice
  11. TheBorb

    TheBorb Bullshit detector

    In response to original post...


    I find this bible of responses quite perplexing.

    'YES!' is enough, that is all you will need.
  12. mik

    mik Guest

    Interesting, sounds like I confused lust with attraction. Well I guess there's no harm in restricting yourself until you find what works for you.

    Although I haven't really figured out the difference. Perhaps you could link that article?
    All i've been able to find is Christian articles on the topic of lust vs attraction.
    Like this little gem:
    So I guess as long as you don't ever pursue those women you find attractive, then your all good in god's eyes :p
  13. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex


    This is teh article I read a little of. It was too long but the initial parts talk about 3 different pathways, lust, attraction and atachment. Interesting stuff.

    It looks like a website built to help against addiction.
  14. @MIK

    Actually in the last couple of years I've found attracting girls to be incredibly easy. Though I do have minor psychological issues which prevent me from engaging a good number of them.

    I speak from experience about that though... I did used to be the nerdy, awkward type in school. But I've grown up and learned how to better myself. I still have some very deep emotional scars from the way I was treated by girls in the past. Girls that deemed me to be inferior back then, now want to have me.

    Not sure what attacking me personally is for. But that's fine :)
  15. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    @PoisonousSnake Yeah im not sure why Mik went with the personal attacks either, I didnt see how your post warranted any hostility.

    Anyway interesting thread. I too was pondering the relationship vs being single for a long time. Relationship with great girl, but long distance, or take my chances being single. Still pondering this one day, I was not able to make contact and initiate conversation with a girl who was checking me out like crazy in the metro. I wasnt even able to so much glance in her direction, and she was making it quite clear from the periphery of my vision as she was talking to her friend and I to mine. So after that I realized I'm not ready to do what I want (go through a single phase and have sex with a lot of girls). I decided to go the safer route and develop other areas of my life like exercise, reading, and music instead.
  16. mik

    mik Guest

    You attack the entire current population of females and then you're offended when I turn that around on you?
    Alright, fair enough, I'll keep it rational and not make assumptions then.

    What is your proof that all women simply want to be dominated by the biggest toughest guy out there?
    Furthermore, if that were true, why would that necessarily be a bad thing?

    Men appreciate big tits, and a nice ass, why is it so wrong for women to appreciate muscly, dominant men?
    Why not embrace your masculinity and become a muscly, confident man instead of checking out of the game?

    People say "nice guys finish last", well are you any less of a nice guy if you put on some muscle and confidence?
    Do you think perhaps women gravitate toward nice confident guys more than confident dbags? In my experience the intelligent ones certainly do.

    Some men take the red pill and spew hatred towards women after they realize women are sexual beings, with desires and needs. The attitude of "because I'm a "nice guy" women should gravitate towards me while I sit on the couch and eat cheetos".

    Other men realize that men are just as flawed and superficial as women, and embrace their masculinity to attract women.
    Don't get angry at the game and rage quit, better yourself instead.

    I'd agree that women have far to much power and privilege in society today, but I won't agree that it got that way because women are crafty demons out to exploit men at every turn.
    Biologically, men provide resources to women, and when we provide to many resources (privileges) we reap the results.
  17. EpicGanja

    EpicGanja Member

    Very well said, I couldn't have said it better myself, respect!
  18. RebornAgain

    RebornAgain Beating my addiction one day at a time.. Staff Member

    Yes it's okay to want a girl out of lust only. You're a man! It's in our biology to want to have sex with lots of beautiful women. Pass those genes on.
  19. yearofchange

    yearofchange Your actions matter.

    @mik. Mhm well put, but I have to call you out on "I'd agree that women have far to much power and privilege in society today." Do you really believe this?

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