Investing Yourself Emotionally Online and Socializing

Discussion in 'Internet Addiction' started by sak1234, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. sak1234

    sak1234 Member

    I just wanted to reach out to people regarding an issue that was/still is a real issue for me even though ED is no longer an issue. That issue is Facebook, Online Forums, etc and the time we spend there.

    A large percentage of us probably spent a lot of time on Facebook and other social networking sites along with forums such as this one. This is probably especially true while we were fapping non stop and wasting away our lives. Not only were we getting pleasure from the fapping, but also replacing a lot of the social interactions we had with online interactions until we needed the online interactions in a way.

    I, personally, have never had an issue talking to a random person or just using small talk, but I haven't become good friends with many people since high school. In high school when this issue was not prevalent, I had a relatively large social circle that I actually grew close to and would love to spend time with. In college, when the fapping and social networking became an issue, I started to build more and more shallow relationships. Ever since moving to a new city which was 3 years ago, I have only made 1 or 2 close relationships. I am still a very, very social guy especially with the nature of my job, but I have a lot more go out to town to drink buddies than I do friends who would like to go hiking or camping just for fun. Any other relationship I have built, I have had to put in a lot of effort just to stay interested in hanging out which is crazy to me since humans are so social.

    Numerous times, people on this forum have mentioned that FB and other social networking sites makes you less social so this is nothing new. I wanted to take this one step further and mention the possibility that a lot of people on this board, myself included, have probably used this board and other similar forums as a place to build companionship, friendships, etc. If these interactions have replaced or partially replaced the need to socialize, it may not be the most beneficial thing to participate in.

    A lot of people have mentioned not being able to form relationships worth having. Maybe some of us are investing so much of our time, emotion, etc into boards like this one instead of utilizing it as a tool for information. Maybe the emotional investment we put into these boards is not letting us open up to those around us and thus not allowing to build relationships like we all want. Good relationships around us allow us to enjoy the moments spent together as well as knowing you have a safe haven to go to when you are feeling most vulnerable. I understand that some of the things we are going through are tough to talk about with friends and family, but investing yourself emotionally with people around you and wanting to discuss things with them will probably help with relationships you have down the road.

    This could also be a I just wanted to reach out to people regarding an issue that was a real issue for me and still is even though ED is no longer an issue at the moment. That issue is Facebook, Online Forums, etc.

    A large percentage of us probably spent a lot of time on Facebook and other social networking sites along with forums such as this one. This is probably especially true while we were fapping non stop and wasting away our lives. Not only were we getting pleasure from the fapping, but also replacing a lot of the social interactions we had with online interactions until we needed the online interactions in a way.

    I, personally, have never had an issue talking to a random person or just using small talk, but I haven't become good friends with many people since high school. In high school when this issue was not prevalent, I had a relatively large social circle that I actually grew close to and would love to spend time with. In college, when the fapping and social networking became an issue, I started to build more and more shallow relationships. Ever since moving to a new city which was 3 years ago, I have only made 1 or 2 close relationships. Any other relationship I have built, I have had to put in a lot of effort just to stay interested in hanging out which is crazy to me since humans are so social.

    Numerous times, people on this forum have mentioned that FB and other social networking sites makes you less social so this is nothing new. I wanted to take this one step further and mention the possibility that a lot of people on this board, myself included, have probably used this board and other similar forums as a place to build companionship, friendships, etc. If these interactions have replaced or partially replaced the need to socialize, it may not be the most beneficial thing to participate in.

    A lot of people have mentioned not being able to form relationships worth having. Maybe some of us are investing so much of our time, emotion, etc into boards like this one instead of utilizing it as a tool for information. Maybe the emotional investment we put into these boards is not letting us open up to those around us and thus not allowing to build relationships like we all want. Good relationships around us allow us to enjoy the moments spent together as well as knowing you have a safe haven to go to when you are feeling most vulnerable. I understand that some of the things we are going through are tough to talk about with friends and family, but investing yourself emotionally with people around you and wanting to discuss things with them will probably help with relationships you have down the road.

    With that said, I'll leave everyone with this article below:

    http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/05/is-facebook-making-us-lonely/308930/

    On this forum and social networking websites, try to be more aware of how you are using the validation of other users for your own benefit or enjoyment. Do you find yourself feeling to check for responses to a thread of yours like a teenage girl checks her phone for a boy to text her? Does it affect you personally when someone on this board (who, keep in mind, you don't really know) disagrees or blasts something you think or say? If so, you may be investing too much of yourself online and not enough in the real world. Lastly, the irony of me writing this post in a forum doesn't escape me.

    Have a great day guys.
     
  2. I even don't talk in Facebook and I don't have any online friends.
     
  3. sak1234

    sak1234 Member

    I guess it doesn't apply to you, but you are still on this forum. I don't know how you use the forum so I can't judge accordingly, but it doesn't mean this apply doesn't apply to others though. I'd still have a hard time believing that social networking doesn't affect tastes and how you view others.
     
  4. " I'd still have a hard time believing that social networking doesn't affect tastes and how you view others." can you explain it?
     
  5. tk8888

    tk8888 New Member

    Interesting. I'd buy it to an extent. I know I always get excited about just looking at my facebook and looking at responses to things I post on my wall, someone else's wall, etc.

    As far as the "relationships" people foster online replacing real relationships, I'm not totally sure. I do feel like my relationships and the time I spend with people isn't like it was when I was younger, but I don't know if that is because of technology, PMO, or just growing up. I could see it I suppose.
     
  6. SelfControl2013

    SelfControl2013 "Infinite patience produces Immediate results"

    yeah i think your right.
     
  7. louis

    louis New Member

    I really think the same thing,virtual girls are dangerous for our real sex life,in the same way social net work and forum are dangerous for our real relationship life!

    Everything can be addictive for our brain,with computer and screen our brain become trap on virtual activity,our memory become full of virtual thing and we begin craving for this virtual activity more and more...

    There some great thought about addiction at this website dopamineproject.org,some point of view are really awsome!
     

Share This Page