Insane premature ejaculation solutions?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Clarkmr, Aug 1, 2018.

  1. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    hey friends. 15 months porn free, and when I have sex, I seriously orgasm in like 10 seconds. Seriously . Sometimes 5. Naturally it pisses my partners off, who never get off.

    Any ideas or tips?
  2. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Active Member

    You mention being porn free...are you masturbation free? If you were to ejaculate prior to your encounter, it might give you some extra time. The other solution is to do all the work up front. Get her (or him, whatever you like) off first, do the oral, the fingers the everything else and then go in for the grand finale. Get them exhausted so they're glad you came and went. You may also talk to your doctor and see if he has a solution.
  3. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member

    Thanks for your reply! Yeah that’s a good idea. I try to minimize masturbation, but could give that a try. I can’t take oral either , I’ll orgasm so fast as soon as someone starts giving me a BJ.

    I’m gay, and dudes are kinda less into foreplay (I think?) than women. So it can be difficult. But it’s good . Maybe I’ll talk to a doctor. I thought it would go away after nofap, and though my life is vastly improved in the absence of porn, this seems like it’s only gotten worse! Had my FWB over today and seriously I blew in like 3 thrusts. It was so embersssing.
  4. Jose bell

    Jose bell New Member

    Hii... yes i also think you need to see the doctor. Doctor can give you proper guideline and precautions, and you have to follow his/her treatment.
  5. Joshua Shea

    Joshua Shea Active Member

    @Clarkmr Maybe if you tried women you'd last longer. ;);););)
    See the could be something medical you have no control over and not related to porn at all.
  6. Clarkmr

    Clarkmr Member


    ha ha.

    ha ha ha.


    My female partners would be even angrier; I wouldn't be able to even start. I think I got problems now....
  7. Kevin Walez

    Kevin Walez New Member

    Listen, bro. Maybe the reason is your lifestyle. In any case, you might try to fix it or even enhance. There are a lot of different approaches you have to try in order to solve this issue. I just would recommend you to experiment with a variety of home remedies for PE treatment. One more word for you: don’t spot searching until you find your solution. The best!!
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2018
  8. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I actually found more or less the same when I recently gave masturbation a go for the first time in two and a half years. It was also my first sexual release in that time. It caught me off guard how quickly I hit orgasm. It wasn't a problem before I entered sobriety. I wonder whether we have PE because we conditioned our brains to ejaculate quickly by looking at porn. I notice occasionally when I encounter triggering stuff that my body almost prepares me for a quick ejaculation without me having to do anything. It doesn't take much for me get hard and release pre-cum. Even just being naked for me can trigger a rock solid erection. I don't have the answer, but I suspect it lies in perseverance and gradually re-wiring the brain through sex. Also, have you tried training yourself to last longer with regular masturbation, holding back from the point of no return? As I am single, I have been toying with this idea myself.
  9. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    you know what works with me...
    MO before sex the second coming is always better. i noticed this a year or two ago i did not MO at all and if i did not more than once at a time. rarely when i came i came wayyyy too early and thought my dick is no good, cant have sex but then i discovered that Wow! when i fap again like 30minutes after i last like those dudes in porn i used to watch, long dick erections suitable for sex and you know longer you take to climax the better it feels. Thats why i always think the second MO is the right one :D

    make note i have already been sober from porn over a year and rewired to girls / MO for many years.
    Everyone is different, each story is different
  10. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    That's solid advice that certainly helps with a lot of people who have PE.

    I would like to share an experience that I had last night which I think could add some value to the discussion. I masturbated in a gentle way, in a solo-karezza fashion, abstaining from orgasm. I kept on going for an hour and then decided to stop. Now I allowed myself to stop the stimulation every so often during which I would also flex the PC muscles, to avoid hitting orgasm. However, once I hit a very relaxed place within myself- almost like a meditative state, the urge to ejaculate were considerably weaker. I could keep on stroking myself for long periods of time without having to stop. Anxiety, I think, is definitely a factor with PE.

    I have also noticed that you are likely to hit orgasm quickly if you have been exposed to a trigger beforehand. This could be an advertisement, a sexual fantasy or anything else. It is as though the body prepares for a quick ejaculation. Instead, I think it helps to wait for yourself to calm down, and then focus on the calm and loving sensations in the body during the sexual activity.
  11. jiajun

    jiajun New Member

    you need to get your PC muscles trained. google "the best way to do PC muscle exercises" from wikihow
  12. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    I used to have Delayed ejaculation. Now after 105days of no PMO and I now come after a few minutes into sex.
    My gf isnt very happy obviously. I'm starting PC muscle exercises now on a daily basis, but I do not think it is enough.
    I also agree with what freedom said. When you're already triggered before sex, you wont last long.
    Also when beeing stressed or anxious or both, it is risky you might come fast. In that case it is already pretty difficult to get an ejaculation (except to addictive stimuli).
    I do not really want to start masturbating again, also I have no real urge for it and dont want to lose my benefits etc.
    But I also want to have longer sex again, for the sake of my partners.
  13. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Thanks for sharing, BackonTrack. While I still stand by the tips in my last post, I would like to add that I have yet to apply these having sex with a real life partner.The need to stay away from triggering material is something that needs to be emphasised. I encountered some triggering images of women on Tinder earlier in the week, and within minutes I was leaking pre-cum. Needless to say, I promptly deleted the app.

    Regarding kegal exercises, they will only help ED if you do the right ones. There are conventional kegal exercises, which involves clenching the muscles around the anus, and crucially not the BC muscle which many confuse as proper kegals. If you keep on contracting the BC muscle, you will stimulate the ejaculation reflex. From what I have read online, PE seems to be connected to a trigger happy BC muscle which consistently contracts. What you really want to do is the reverse kegal which relaxes the BC muscle and stops it contracting. Like regular kegals, you have to keep practising them for the muscle to become effective. If done consistently, they can help calm you down and take you further away from the point of no return. This is the closest thing that has been reported as a cure for PE online. However there are not many reports from people who have tried this method and have successfully achieved the desired outcome. I stopped my mindful masturbation experiment about two months ago because I felt that it was pushing me towards a porn relapse. Plus the super productivity sensation that you get when you abstain is a real loss when it is missing. Nevertheless, I have been practising both conventional and reverse kegals for when they may be needed. The fact that I may not be able to have satisfying sex when I meet the right person, has caused me considerable anxiety. I will report back if I have found that they have addressed the issue for me.

    For the time being I have been monitoring this Nofap thread which by far has been the most useful resource I have found online for PE. It's a work in progress, but the guys on there are still experimenting with these methods and are writing their findings in it.

    If anybody encounters success combating their PE, it would be great if you can share it in this YBR thread.
  14. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    Thanks for sharing, I will look into this.
    I'd very much like to find a solution for PE without having to masturbate again, occasionly.

    Btw Tinder and co made me become a full-blown sex-addict after quitting porn.
    Which is even worse than only being a porn addict.
    We porn addicts are obviously quite prone to become addicted to any sexual stimuli, nevertheless it seems nofap focuses on guys becoming womanizers.
    A monogamous relationship should be the goal, not because of relgious reasons or anything but ex-porn addicts will not take long before getting addicted to the excitement of one night stands and/or hookers.
    On the hand I found my gf online, but still I have to fight the urge to sign up on dating apps every day probably for the rest of my life.
  15. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    So would I, BackOnTrack. Masturbation is a bit like playing with fire for me because I am a virgin. Masturbation is closely connected to PMO in my brain. Like I said, I also like the extra energy I have by abstaining from orgasm.

    I can understand how you became addicted to sex. Its very easy to become addicted to something else once we take the main addiction away, especially a related one like sex.

    I only installed Tinder because a friend of mine said that he had some success with seriously dating women and recommended it to me. He doesn't know my addiction so wouldn't have thought to warn me of the triggering material on there. I knew Tinder had a bit of a reputation for casual sex, but several people told me that its reputation was changing. I was surprised to find the level of triggering images on there.
  16. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    It really comes down to you, how you use it.
    If you contact girls that could be relationship-material or if you try to have casual sex with some promiscuous girl.
    At first I had regular dates with girls that you be interesting for me, but at some point I wasted all my energy on finding girls I could have sex with and for some reason I was only chasing ones that wouldnt be relationship material at all.
    Then at some point I really wanted to stop doing that and only date girls to find a relationship and at that point, I experienced some really heavy withdrawal symptoms.
    Also there are quite a few hookers there, but even normal bikini pictures can be triggering, obviously.
    On the other hand I found my gf there, that I'm with now. I didnt get addicted to it straight away, I'd say it took at least a year to manifest.
    What is most addicting about it, that in any moment you could get that message or match, that lead to sex or whatever.
    After each swipe could be something exciting.
    It is the same concept than a slot machine, but not with money, but with sex. ;-)
    At other times it is depressing, when you see, all those people, but no-one reaches to you.
    What made it worse for me than porn is that people may reach out to you and with porn I was at least the one anticipating it and not someone external.
    It is like your phone automatically starting some porn videos and you have to click no. :D
  17. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Thanks for sharing. You have described perfectly why I had to delete Tinder before a problem started to develop. That dopamine rush we get from trying to find the right partner is very similar to that experienced with porn use. I think that Tinder is a very inefficient way of finding someone you are interested in dating. You have to do so much swiping before you find a profile with enough information on their personal add to give you something to go by. I definitely think it is not the best platform to go about meeting someone seriously.

    I will let you know if I see any improvements on the PE front. I have decided that I am just going to do reverse kegals for the time being as doing 3 months of normal kegals too has only made it worse in my opinion. My theory is that I currently have an imbalance in the pelvic floor muscles. I can get very easily aroused which probably has a lot to do with the fact that I haven't had a release in a while. Nevertheless, when I do get aroused my erection is very upright and super hard, which may suggest that my pelvic floor is a bit too tight. Doing just reverse kegals might just loosen the pelvic floor muscles and create a bit more balance.
    BackOnTrack and Pete McVries like this.
  18. BackOnTrack

    BackOnTrack Member

    About PE.. yeah reverse kegels may help.
    What I also found helpful is to really stop tensing all the muscles and just try to relax everything as much as possible.
    Unconciously I was flexing a lot.
    Also calm deep breath. That helps a bit for me as well.
    NewHorizon likes this.

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