I'm new here. Starting completely over...

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by AU84, Jun 29, 2020.

  1. AU84

    AU84 New Member

    Hi everyone.

    I am a 35 year old male who has destroyed a relationship with a woman who loved me unconditionally, and I threw it all away.

    I've been watching porn since I was 16 and never had a consistent break from it. It has completely reprogrammed my reward centers. As time went by in the past 5-10 years, I have become increasingly selfish, lack motivation and desire for little, and have a mountain of shame and self doubt that hovers over me like a cloud.

    I had multiple times to stop, and for a time I would, but I wouldn't have a strong enough support structure to resist the itch. It has made me objectify women, show them less respect and made me incredibly depressed because of it.

    I feel like my ego has been built up by the many years of failed relationships and dating women who would rip my heart out.

    I am in therapy, but for other issues, but I feel like this is truly the root of all of my problems. My relationship is over, and I don't want to fall back on my bad behaviors and habits. I can't seem to get out of my own way.

    I lack the willpower many times to force change, making the "fake it till you make it" hard for me to achieve. I have very little willpower or self-worth and can't seem to snap out of it. I am in need of so much help.
  2. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Well-Known Member

    Hey man! Feel you in the willpower department. Welcome!

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