I will never give up. Day 1

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Do_Your_Best, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. Do_Your_Best

    Do_Your_Best New Member

    Hi guys,

    31 year old here. Masturbating to pornography since 13. I've been aware of its negative affects since I was about 20. Been aware of the 're-balancing' theory since I was about 24, but I have never been able to tame myself. So far anyway.

    Journalling has helped me with other things. It's helped me in the gym. It's helped me with alcohol. I know it can help me with pornography addiction.

    I'm starting to get desperate though. I'm probably at the lowest point I've ever been in my life. I'm employed, I have money, I'm in decent shape ... but my personality is in the absolute pits. I'm anxious around people. I have no self confidence or assurance. And I am genuinely most content being alone, in my room, with a bottle of brandy and the internet - browsing forums and using porn. How can I ever have friends or a girlfriend again if I just don't want to be around people?

    What kind of life is going home, going into my room, shutting my door ... day, after day, after day ...

    And the longer it goes on, the worse my social skills get ... and the more I want to isolate myself. It will get to the point where I can no longer function in society.

    I KNOW giving up porn can help. Whenever I travel, and have no internet/pornography, suddenly I enjoy people. I want to be around them (even if I still need time to recharge afterwards). I can imagine myself in a relationship. It helps. This works. Just got to be committed.

    Encouragement much appreciated.
    Day 1.
  2. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    Welcome to the board. Quitting (P)MO had definitely helped me to deal with social anxiety. Looking forward to see your experiences here.

    Active imagination is the best way to set your goals. A great book about this is psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
    Do_Your_Best likes this.
  3. Do_Your_Best

    Do_Your_Best New Member

    Thanks for the book suggestion!

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