i will keep fighting no matter how long it takes

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by messyrex, Jan 9, 2021.

  1. messyrex

    messyrex New Member

    well,
    the first time i ever had my eyes on porn was on my uncle's phone. in fact he was the one that gave the phone while the video was playing so that i could watch(that damn fool.)
    since then it occurred that, whatever phone i could find any phone ,the aim was to search for the video in their gallery to see if they had some porn vids and if not simply browsed on the internet( along the way discovered the porn sites)
    that all started happening when i was 14 years old and now this year am turning 22.it has been one hell of a life since i started this porn life,,,i realised later that i was addicted to it. i noted that i couldn't masturbate without porn..2015 i started my research to what was really happening to me. Fortunately enough ,i got all my answers and read about all the adverse results that came with porn use.
    started fighting my way out both spiritually and physically .i fought my way out and i could finally say that i completely free from it.
    But i don't know what happened the year that followed,,,i fell for the trap . i went back to that nasty place again,. that time with much intensity because i knew all about the consequences and the like .loneliness was always my trigger .when i could feel lonely ,my escape plan was my phone and the porn sites,.
    after every masturbation , i could feel like am the most pathetic person ever lived but i still couldn't stop. that very year, i broke up with my lovely girlfriend for i thought she was too good for a worthless loser like me i for i lost to urges of porn every time. since then, kinder felt like i was completely alone and porn was all i had.
    i cant comment on my sex life because i have never had one to begin with.
    One thing was for sure ,i knew that i couldn't let this go on forever.
    it was just last week that i restarted my research on porn .i have learnt a lot since then .i watched a number of videos from Gary,church and gabe. i have also read alot of staff on their websites . finally, got a chance to join a forum.
    i am looking forward to ending this kinder life once and for all so that i could see what the future has in stored for me
     
  2. Spence02

    Spence02 Member

    You've come to the right place man. I'm behind you and so are the forum members. We've been through it just like you, so there's no shame and you're not alone.
    I hope to see you come back and I hope you continue to seek growth.
     
    messyrex likes this.
  3. Krebs

    Krebs Active Member

    You began long and hard road, my friend and soon you will discover a lot of about yourself. Do better and remember: struggle makes you better.
     
    messyrex likes this.
  4. messyrex

    messyrex New Member

    Sure man..thanks
     
  5. messyrex

    messyrex New Member

    True man..
    Kinder reminds me of the Japanese broken glass pot that was then mended with gold.after that,the pot looked so beautiful then than before it was broken.
     

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