Welcome back. Sorry for your loss, that must be hard. Yup. That is your mission. And it's not an easy one. I'm not even in the position to understand how hard it must be, to be honest. I feel many of us ask ourselves this question. People always have. As to the depression, two things: If you can, please find help. And after the loss you had, I feel it will take some time until you feel better. I don't think you can't get better, but sometimes you lose something in life and have to walk in sadness for a long time. But you aren't truly alone, no? You've got a kid. All the best.