I want to experience real sex pleasure

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Luffy, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Hi. Im 31 year old now, since im 12 year im starting masturbate, then age 15, picture masturbe, then 16 when im first see porn, im so excited. Then im hook with it there was vhs, then vcd and then dvd, now im on internet. My life so introvert, im alone, and have a gf when im 23 y/o, but not have a succesful sex like i watch in porn. When i think its very pleasure when im jacking on porn, than sex with my gf, so i break him up coz im not happy with her when were together. Our relationship was only one month, and since then i had no gf at all and im am 31 year old now and still single.
    Im thinking what the matter with me, im not gay. I love woman. But speaking of woman. I like to be it perfect. Maybe porn teach that, when i read ybop its, say always beautiful, always sexy, always hot, not smelly, i see it in porn. In real, you see its not perfect, skin not flawless, and smell not always good. And sometimes its hard to get, getting in the mood. You wanted that way it not happen. Porn can it happen, it never be angry with you.

    But thanks to the internet, i found this www.ismasturbationbad.com/home.htm its explain, it try not to masturbate the watch porn, no masturbate. Its hard, even im not touching my penis, i can ejaculate, even its not hard an limp, i ejacute, then thanks to internet, i search if bad the porn, then im saw this ybop, im amazed. Its explain everything, and what happen that i cannot have a pleasure in real sex, im much prefer porn. Always im my mind im thingking sex sex sex. Thats thinking im a maniac, but im hook in it. Thats discovery was march 2011, and 1 year has gone now. Ill try it but, you know its very hard to do it, 1 year had past and im still trying not even succed. Im succeed only 45 days, and then back again on porn. It hard, 2 week, then relapse, watch porn again. Ill never succeed. Ill find it when youre mind says watch porn, the wholeday its in your mind. Then your like a robot, download porn, if youre not ejaculate you do not stop, download again. When you ejaculate, oh noh, back to zero day again. Its hard.

    One thing i noticed, when a slight trigger you, you keep coming to the near and nearer porn. Just when something i see, a beautiful actress, then came to think, search her in internet wearing bikini, then youre not satisfied, you search her nude, and so on. Been doing it.

    So now im 2nd day only of no pmo, itry the internet porn software blocker and its not help me. Im thingking its your own will i can do it.
    So today, i will post what happen in this, even if i relapse or never succed in this journey, ill try again. So i join thin forum. Maybe it will help for me. May target is 60 day of no porn. Then im success reboot.

    Target:
    i want to expirence the pleasure of real sex. Since im expierence real sex but not the pleasure of it, it performance.
     
  2. Rob4Hope

    Rob4Hope Guest

    You mentioned that you come closer and closer to porn. For example, you see an beautiful actress, and you want to see her again so you look her up on the internet. Then, you wonder if she is in a swiming suit somehow. Before you know it, you are doing searches for her in the nude, and WHAM...its blown: you are right back into the mess.

    I understand your pain my friend. I have been doing the same thing for about 23 years. For me, opening up a catalog and looking at swimming suit adds, or lingerie adds in a Sears Catalog was my first porn and has always been a trigger ever since.

    I am on Day 1 in my quest. I hope you will press forward and not give up. There are a lot of people on this site who all say the same thing: It is worth it,....it can be done,...you can do it,...and it makes your whole life better. I don't know what this all feels like,...but I sure as hell am going to keep going forward. I have so much to loose, and so much more to gain. I hope you will hang on and press forward. We can do this re-boot process.
     
  3. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Yes, friend i give it a try.

    This night im use my computer, just only to read news.
    Then i came the idea check the porn site, just a peak. Think watch only and not masturbate since i finished reading news and no website to browse.
    Then i watch porn and urge to masturbate, i cannot control. Think its relapse, but i cannot stop, must ejaculate. Then i ejaculate, oh no, back to zero again.
    Hmm, ok, start again.

    Day 0
     
  4. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Day 1

    ok, no computer no porn, i pass this day. More days to come. Continue. I must watch the trigger.
     
  5. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Thank for the support,

    day 2
    success no pmo
    --what did i do, since i love my computer, i cannot help, that i throw it away forever.. I cannot do it, but computer help me, and visit this site but a possible porn use. Since internet blocker not works for cause its also block my favorite site that its has no porn content, what i do this day.
    I bring my laptop outside, in Mall where there where a free wifi hotspot, and people shopping, im in table, browsing internet, my mind thinks , check porn, but i cannot do it, coz there where many people there. Thats why i succeed in no pmo.

    One thing that change my mind, i had download a porn movie, since it was 1.6 gig size. Only 10 percent its done, 90 percent more. What is i done is if i finished 60 day, i watch it. My mind said i cannot throw the porn forever. But what is this im, collecting porn for future use, after maybe 90 or 60 days of No PMO, I will watched in 1 day, then back again in rebooting to zero again. Whats wrong with me, my brain is calmed, if no pmo in just 2 months, then i get the porn after that, No way, my brain, this time i will wanna do, No Porn Forever, i will kick, punch you my brain, you will suffer hard my brain, just like you explode, the real girl you must took my brain, even you puke for the real girl. I decided now, No Porn Forever. I log in this site to remind to do it. Not 60 days my target, for now on, forever my target. So this is war for now on my brain. 1 year had pass since i see YBOP, but its 9 years when i try to stop, and you always win my brain. This time, i wont be deafeted to you. Its time to delete again my porn download. Must change the download by movie, yes. War has begun.


    its change my mind.
     
  6. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Day 3
    success no pmo


    still, war again, im missing something. No porn forever. I will not returned to pmo, i can do it, another day of war. Something trigger me, when i see girl on tv, i want them nude. Ok i miss movie, ok here i wanna do, i will not watch tv, just news in tv.
     
  7. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Thanks for the support!

    Day 4
    Success No Pmo

    this night . I cant sleep, i want my computer. But what will i browse, hmm, i cant, it will trigger for my relapse, i knew, i want to view a rated r movie, i want to view it rated R movie. Im writing this and its my mind. My brain wanna explode, i want Rated R, ill miss something. But my computer is no acceble today. I bookmark my favorite pornsite, but, i hard its war, for now this day 4 i winning my battle. How long can i win this. Ok. Whatever happen, i post to this and still trying again.
     
  8. MetaMorph

    MetaMorph New Member

    I love this quote!

    Luffy, you are struggling, but be strong and keep up your war! You can do this!!
     
  9. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Thanks...
    I wish i will success, and forget the urge of porn.



    Day 6
    success, i win this day.

    How i win in this war today. No internet at home. I go outside in the internet cafe if i want to surf on internet.
    But my my brain want to view porn. I feel, slight lonely, but not lonely. I cant explain what my feeling right now. Oh, i miss that, im sad. What happen, when i was teenager, porn is very hard to get, it cost me money but i dont had that money. Now i can buy computer, and Now, it very easy to get the porn. But Now, it want to loose it and forget.

    Why thats happen, when you want something, it hard to get, when there is too many and easy to get that something, you want to loose it.

    I miss it, i want it now, but my computer in my house is cut out my internet connect so i success for today. Ok , i have to overcome this something missing to me, the porn. Oh, i love woman, i want you all. But for the good for me, i will struggle and keep trying of no PMO. Whatever happen i post it here.
     
  10. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    This day ___ RELAPSE___
    back to zero again..

    I browse internet this night then, click the adult chatting ROOM site. I see woman in webcab, the i chat with her. Shes beatiful, the she undress, i see her nude. Then i masturbate and orgasm. After that oh no back to zero again. I said no more of this. After 1 hour, i feel hangover, i want to orgasm again, then i went to porn site video. Masturbate, and orgasm. Then i feel satisfied and went to sleep at 3am.

    So now im writing this, back to zero again. Ok, ill try it again. Maybe i will, make precaution. I block this my favorite adult site. Then a password. You win my brain this night. Lets begun again the war.

    April 7
    Day 0
     
  11. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Relapse Again
    April 8
    back again to
    Day 0


    i watch porn, masturbate, and orgasm again.
     
  12. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Stay strong. You have a clear goal which is worth fighting for.
     
  13. Losing Neverland

    Losing Neverland New Member

    Your brain is part of you. Perhaps instead of waging war against it you should wage war with it.

    Your brain is a weapon. By learning to understand it and use it to your advantage you will gain health.
     
  14. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    April 10,
    another Relapse, what happen to me.

    Day zero again.

    What happen is i went to a site, where only nude girl only, then my favorite porn site came back in my mind. And the, i browse them all, then masturbate & orgasm again.
    I must to something about it,
    ok here is my list gonna do
    1. Erase bookmark
    2. Erase username login.
    3. Block website without use of software
    4. I search to picture & post in the wall, showing to remind me of Goobye Porn.
    5. My ultimate ( No picture, video of woman) but see real girl.

    Today
    Day Zero
     
  15. tymbles

    tymbles Guest

    Try this, when you feel like you want to PMO, get away from the computer and do something else for a little while. Alternatively, come onto these forums and read a few journals or go to YBOP to remind yourself what you're abstaining for... the brain plays tricks, it makes you forget what you're giving up.
     
  16. Eugene

    Eugene New Member

    my advice is - spend more time in public place
     
  17. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    These past days, i watch porn, pmo these day. Thats why i not post in here, relapse again, failed again.

    Today, my mind is refresh, i want to start again to no pmo. Try again, and again, to someday pmo is history for me.

    April 19, 2012
    1st day of No PMO.
     
  18. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    These past days, i watch porn, pmo these day. Thats why i not post in here, relapse again, failed again.

    Today, my mind is refresh, i want to start again to no pmo. Try again, and again, to someday pmo is history for me.

    April 19, 2012
    1st day of No PMO.
     
  19. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    Today success
    No Pmo
    April 20
    Day 2
     
  20. Luffy

    Luffy Member

    April 22
    last night, i watch porn, a relapse and orgasm

    back again in
    Day 0
     

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