I also think hearing the "Is that it?" message is part of the recovering process. I didnt really fully decide to leave P behind forever, until I really got the "you'll never get the rush/comfort/relaxation you're looking for" -message. Instead at least for me, after the relapses I felt worse. Weak, out of breath and somehow beat up. Not good feeling at all... Just get back on track and dont worry too much about what has already happened. Instead try to learn from the mistakes. What was the trigger? Can you avoid such situations? Etc. Good luck!