I want a better life at age 36. It´s NOT too late!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by MarstonS, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 1
    Alcohol Day: 1

    Well that was totally not worth it. What a disappointing weekend. I had 4 drinks and that was all it took to undermine my willpower and I relapsed later that evening because my brain wanted more dopamine. The ironic part was that the alcohol did not deliver any good feelings. It used to, in the past, and that's why my brain still want me to try every now and again but nope. It does not work anymore.

    I'm back up on the horse and I will try to not let this get me down...

    Today I'm grateful for
    -Clean clothes
    -The computer I got from my sister
    -My sister and my closest family
  2. Doper

    Doper New Member

    Well, I find making it 20 days I get a good bit of progress, not a bad run. In fact if I could continuously do 20 days over and over with JUST ONE minor infraction/no bingeing, I would be reasonably happy with that, though of course it's a given to shoot for better. I also concur that if you don't drink for a while and end up doing so, it doesn't feel all that great. Going 70+ days without drinking is definitely something to be proud of.
  3. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    Mh, regarding the alcohol I feel that us lot has to find new and saner ways of having fun®.

    Bit of a conundrum, cause when you're fighting back so many things it can get tricky to build something new. So many ressources bound up with Not Doing Bad Things.

    Still, these days I think building new, good things in our life is the best shot we might have at freeing ourselves. Huh.
  4. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    Hey MarstonS, I have not been here for a couple of weeks and notice that you haven't posted either. Hope your doing fine.
    TheScriabin likes this.
  5. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    Likewise, hope all is good with you Marston?
  6. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    Marston, I'll join the bloody choir if need be.

    Whats up? Where you at?
  7. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    Yeah, I was wondering the same. Where is the old Finnish war horse at?
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2019
  8. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Hi guys, thanks for commenting.

    In order to get new perspectives I took a long break from internet and this forum. I'm ok...the old Finnish war horse is still here :)

    I lost count on my alcohol days, but I descided to not drink anymore for the rest of the year 2019, at least. Haven't had a drink since I wrote about it last, in January.

    When it comes to the PMO reboot I'm still struggling with relapses about once or twice every 2 weeks. Today is day 7 of no pmo.

    I feel better with less internet so I will probably update less frequently, just so you know, I'm still okay here :)
  9. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    Glad, that you are still alive and kicking. Sometimes rebooters disappear forever without them explaining (still don't know what happened to Wabi-sabi :( ). And given that the suicide rates in Finnland are pretty high, especially during the winter, I had thought of the worst. I'm excited to see what you can achieve this year. It's time to finally get rid of this shit.

    All the best, brother!
  10. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    Not hanging on the net is probably a really good idea. Good to hear you're alive and kicking!
  11. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap day 14
    No alcohol Day: I'm not sure, 49 or 50...something

    Thanks for commenting guys, I love you all!

    Ok, it's Saturday here in Marston land. 90% of my relapses happens on the weekedns so I'm aware of the higher risk today....

    ...that said, if I zoom out and look at the big picture I'm doing SO much better today then when I started this journey. The thing I did wrong in the beginning was, focusing only on NOT doing PMO...and that was it. Today I have a different aproach. Today I have a life vison, with goals, that I'm working on and rebooting is just one of the tools I use to achieve that goal. (The biggest goal is to grow my side busniess so big that I can quit my day-job)
    TheScriabin likes this.
  12. dark red drifter vessel

    dark red drifter vessel Active Member

    Likewise, man. And I feel you on that different approach thing. When I started out I had that abstract idea of "Okay, in a few months I'll have this fixed and can go back to normal". Ya, I actually was that daft. Good thing we all get to learn.

    Is that side biz music related or do you breed organic elks, if I may inquire? :D
    Pete McVries likes this.
  13. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Yeah, we live and learn...but then we also sometimes forget what we have learned...and then we have to learn it again :p

    It's indeed music related my brother :) Wait a minute, the organic elks would perhaps be an idea...at least I don't think I would have much competition here in my area :cool:
  14. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Made a video on my youtube channel about things that may help rebooting and then I shared it in the "porn addiction" section a few days ago. In my oppinion it was a really helpful video and I am NOT selling anything or spamming...no products no courses no nothing. Just wanted to help!

    ...still, for some reason, when I check in here today, it has been taken down. I fee disappointed at this. I have been posting in my journal, on this forum for 5 years. Do the moderators really think I'm a new guy just showing up to to post some spammy shit? That video took me 10 hours to create.
  15. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    Hey @MarstonS, I watched it and commented on it. I was already wondering if you took it out yourself. It is really good and looking forward to your next one. Don't know why it was taken down. You could ask why and whether they can put it back?

    How are you doing? Missing your updates here.
  16. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    oh thank you so much for your support Gilgamesh.

    I'm doing fine. I have stoped counting days, but I wrote in my calendar when I relapsed the last time so I would estimate me being on day 74-78 something of no PMO.

    I learned something that I found both deep and powerful from someone who knows human behaviours perhaps better than anyone else. I have heard and read it before but this time I really took it to heart and implemented it....

    ...it's the statemant "The strongest force in the human psychology is the need to stay consitant with the way we define ourselves" now, this is not some random line that just sound good, but it is actual psychology.

    THIS MEANS that, if I stop counting days it is so much easier to tell my self that now, I am porn free. In other wordse I difine myself as a man who is free from porn. And, as the strong force in human psychology dictates that we need to stay consisten to how we define ourself, I just don't relpase....

    ...on the other hand, when counting days, how do we define ourselves then? Well, as a PORN ADDICT trying to GIVE UP something. Well, if we defin ourselves that way then again, the strongest froce in the human psychology will make us stay consistent with how we define ourselves so...well....that means it won't take long before we relapse ...because doing that makes us consitant to how we define us. And we just defined us as porn adicts. I'm sure you all get the point.

    Now, this is not all, of course, I have also had great success with the keto diet as it make me so focused so my thinking is clear and that makes it also easy to remember all those things I just wrote, as well as WHY we are rebooting, and not to forget that happines can not be find in strong dopamine driven temptations. Thinng like that I tent to forget, again and again, when I'm on a normal high carb diet. But on keto, nope...I just have control then. I love it!

    I'm rambling guys, forgive me. How are you doing Gilgamesh? I don't just want to talk about myself...
    TheScriabin likes this.

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