I want a better life at age 36. It´s NOT too late!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by MarstonS, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 1
    Alcohol Day: 38
    Daily freetime planning: 407 (407-day challenege day challenge)

    Ok, good Marston. You got to expereince two days of feeling better, with more confidence, less anxiety and not so socialy akward. Then you forgot that you were supposed to be rebooting.

    I have never in my life been so sure that alkohol AND pmo makes my selfesteem and confidence much lower. I also realize that I need to be planning my free time. EVERY SINGLE DAY! As my brain is, right now, I simply can not afford to be drifing.

    Reboot and dominate!

    Today I'm grateful for:
    -Christmas vacation starts tomorrow
    -That I know that I will feel better once I get up to day 8-9
    -Coffee
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
    Merton likes this.
  2. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 2
    Alcohol Day: 39
    Daily freetime planning: 406 (407-day challenege, countdown)

    CHRISTMAS HOLLIDAY! WOHOOOOOOOOO!
     
  3. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Active Member

    This is me exactly. I was telling gilgamesh, we know exactly what this pmo stuff is doing to us, we just need to learn how to cope with stress and fill our boredom with more worthwhile activities. You can do it bro, I'll be watching your progress. Get back up to day 8, you'll feel great! (No pun intended lol)
     
  4. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 3
    Alcohol Day: 40
    Daily freetime planning: 405 (407-day challenege, countdown)

    I can tell I'm not used to planning my freetime at all since, so far, the evening planning has been difficult. But I will keep at it, of coure.

    Intothewild89, Yes, I'm doing fine the first few days after a relapse because I'm so focused on staying strong then....but then, about a week later, when the first wounds are licked and I one evening drift in a borded state, oh man, relapses can come even though I have set my heart into being clean. So will try this "free time planning" thing and see. I know there are no magic bullets to rebooting, but there are tools to help...and this might be one tool that perpahs at least could reduce the relapse frequenses.


    Today I'm grateful for:
    -Friends
    -Parents
    -Free from work

    Reboot, dominate and watch out for "the lie"
     
  5. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 4
    Alcohol Day: 41
    Daily freetime planning: 404 (407-day challenege, countdown)

    Today I'm grateful for
    -A peaceful day free from obligations
    -Spinach and avocados
    -Personal development

    Reboot and dominate, kill the lies!
     
    Intothewild89 likes this.
  6. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 5
    Alcohol Day: 42
    Daily freetime planning: 403 (407-day challenege, countdown)

    The planning of my freetime is not going well at all. I'm still drifing most of the time's, in the evening. Yesterday I wanted to watch a movie but couldn't get it to work on free streaming sites so I installed Netflix. Big misstake. It is built in a way that encourages seeking and thus it mimics pmo behaviours and the brain get's fired up. Is there any porn here? How about light porn? Erotic? Nope, luckily I managed to not relapse but I noticed right away that Netflix is not for me. So I'm deleting it this morning, after I log out from here. And oh yeah, the free streaming sites is also a bad idea. Just a lot of adds, most of them sexual in nature, and there too the seeking function is dangerous....


    Today I'm grateful for
    -I slepr without remeron
    -My Mother and Father
    -The days are slowly, but surely, getting longer from here on out....

    Reboot and dominate, kill the lies!
     
  7. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nope, the planning thing just does not work. I even relapsed today. I'm either on or off and did much beter when I had the rule "no internet in my house after 8pm"
     
  8. Doper

    Doper New Member

    Hi Marston,
    Like yourself I've come to the conclusion booze is an absolute no go. You seem to be better at abstaining than me. If I start drinking I will relapse, maybe not the first day or two or whatever, but it will happen. If I were one of those people that could drink a couple drinks it would be fine but what is the fun in that. My problem is I find it keeps me awake, and after feeding the dopamine demon with booze for some hours, if I stop drinking I always want porn to keep the dopamine flowing. And then the next days even without a hangover it happens. I can never get a streak of more than a week or so while drinking. I stopped drinking a few weeks ago and made it 19 days before relapsing and it was really easy after 10-12 day mark, but I got boozed up, immediately relapsed and 5 days later I'm still messing up. This wouldn't bother me hugely but I'm 100% sure that at least for me the PIED doesn't start healing until about the 12-14 day mark, so my usual once a week relapsing isn't solving anything. Keep at it man.
     
  9. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 1
    No internet after 8:30
    Alcohol Day: 43

    Doper, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah thats a tricky situation you have there. The dopamine monster is a nasty beast give hime just a little of something hi WILL make sure to get more in any form. For me it is sugar, alkohol and porn. They all intertwine in my problematic situation. We can and we WILL do it though...

    Stay strong!
     
  10. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 2
    Alcohol Day: 44
    Keto: 1

    Today I'm grateful for
    -Still 8 days until I have to get back to work
    -The low carb diet
    -My mother and father
     
  11. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 3
    Alcohol Day: 45
    Keto: 2

    I eat no sugar at all yesterday and my total carbs was for sure under 30 grams. I had a deep calm in my body the whole day and managed to, easily, stay away from porn. To be fair though, for me the urges usually don't really start before day 3....which is today. One thing is for sure though, suger is so incredible unhealthy for me. For my brain, anxiety and my body.

    Today I'm grateful for
    -Slept a very long and deep sleep this night
    -The keto diet
    -Audible books
     
  12. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 4
    Alcohol Day: 46
    Keto: 3

    Noting much to note today. That's ok.

    Today I'm grateful for:
    -Nice people
    -The internet
    -My home gym
     
  13. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 5
    Alcohol Day: 47
    Keto: 1

    Mood is a bit better today!

    Today I'm grateful for:
    -Help one can get if one just asks
    -Far Cry 3
    -My YouTube Channel
     
  14. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 6
    Alcohol Day: 48
    Keto: 2

    Have a weird, some kind of pimple under my left eye that has gotten swollen as fuck. I look like have been in a fight, on the losing end. Thing is, I have been a good boy and there has been no fighting...if that were the case, the other guy would be the one with the messed up face :cool:

    Had some urges last night but managed to tear myself away from the screen. What worries me though is that I had insomna lasts night and only slept for about 1 hour. So sleep deprived as fuck I have to do a lot of online work today. I'm a bit worried about that. I need to guard myself agains very likely incoming urges today, again. With no sleep my willpower is lower, and NO, this is NOT a post where I give myself an excuse to relapse. I am simply writing down my concerns.

    I will stay strong today...I will stay strong....I know how bad I will feel if I fuck up so I WILL STAY STRONG! Reboot and dominate!
     
    Gilgamesh likes this.
  15. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 7
    Alcohol Day: 49
    Keto: 3

    I made it, even though my brain was like in a fog.

    Today I'm grateful for
    -being alive
    -it's warm outside
    -My brother

    reboot and dominate, never forget!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2018
  16. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 8
    Alcohol Day: 50
    Keto: 4

    Woke up with a morning wood for the first time in ages


    Today I'm grateful for
    -8 days clean
    -Far cry 3
    -My trumpet website
     
  17. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 9
    Alcohol Day: 51
    Keto: 5
    Coffee: 1

    Ok, 2019...let's see what the year brings! My body is in a constant state of stress, even when my mind is calm. This is why I will try going for a period without coffee. Just a bit worried that I deprive myself of too many things in life. Porn and alcohol, sure, I don't need that crap. But then the sugar and carbs also goes away on the keto diet...I could live with that. The coffee though, may be pushing it. But there is no harm in trying at least.

    Today I'm grateful for:
    -I slept well
    -A steady income (job starts again tomorrow)
    -Having had less panic attacks since I went keto
     
    Gilgamesh likes this.
  18. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Active Member

    Hey Marston. How much were you drinking a day? I’m going no pmo/no alcohol/no caffeine for at least a few months as my New Years resolution. I’ve quit coffee for 7 straight months back in late 16 - early 17 and it took about 4 months until I got my energy back. I’ll tell you what though, before that I was a 3 drink a day user for almost 8 years. When I came back to coffee 7 months later, a sinus problem I’d been having for nearly all year resolved in 5 minutes after taking that first drink. I don’t think your body ever truly gets back to normal after being on coffee for so long, at least in that time span. I’m thinking it might take years to truly undo the brain changes done by caffeine. Should give us some perspective on how long the pmo journey will take us. Good luck brother, just remember feeling lethargic is always 100% better than feeling stressed with anxiety. It is for me at least.
     
  19. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 10
    Alcohol Day: 52
    Keto: 6
    Coffee: (limited use)

    First day after the christma vacation, back in work. Felt confident and everything went well.

    Intothewild89, thanks for commenting...sounds pretty wild with the timeframe there. I drink about 3-5 cups every day and I'm thinking I probably should taper off instead of going cold turky. Still unsure about the whole quitting though. If I start seeing the keto diet give big benefits for my anxiety I will rething the whole quitting but, as for now, I'm tapering....
     
    Merton and Intothewild89 like this.
  20. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day: 11
    Alcohol Day: 53
    Keto: 7
    Coffee: (limited use in progress)

    I made a mistake in my workplace today, so I'm guessing the boss might be a bit upset with me. Things like that happen...I think I managed the situation pretty well thouhg, under the circumstances.
     

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