I want a better life at age 36. It´s NOT too late!

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by MarstonS, Jan 19, 2013.

  1. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 2
    Alcohol Day 71

    Confidence: 60%
    Motivation: 50%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 60%

    I had a slip on friday and masturbated. No porn but I decided to reset my counter anyway since I do not want MO in my life. So the slip was not that harmful for the brain, which I'm grateful for.
     
    TheScriabin likes this.
  2. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    Do you exercise much Marston? I should do a lot more than I do but I have always noticed when I exhaust myself intensely from exercise I sleep like a baby, and my anxiety and restless nights are far less of a problem.
     
  3. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 4
    Alcohol Day 73

    Confidence: 65%
    Motivation: 60%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 35%

    TheScriabin, I used to exercise quite a lot, however I havebeen slacking the last couple of months. I really should get back into it. I still move a lot every day though but...not enough. I have been lifting weights since I was 17 so I'm a pretty strong dude, but as I said, the last two monts I have not really been that active. Still managed to go to the gym 1-2 times a week though.
     
    TheScriabin likes this.
  4. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Well-Known Member

    ^Me too, one of my goals is to get back into exercising. The key for me is finding social activies attached to it, so group sports or something, as I spend enough time alone in my head!
     
  5. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 8
    Alcohol Day 77

    Confidence: 65%
    Motivation: 60%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 35%

    TheScriabin, indeed brother. I have found, time and time again, that exercises really helps with improving mood . So it's a bit ironic that, when we get depressed, we often stop exercising...when exercising reallyis the first thing we should be doing when feeling down.
     
    TheScriabin likes this.
  6. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 9
    Alcohol Day 78

    Confidence: 50%
    Motivation: 50%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 45%

    Brain is contstantly wanting me to go for dopamin activities, it's kind of painful really. The only dopamine I try to allow it, besides the ordinary rewards from achieveing things in life, is coffee and perhaps some for of cake, every now and again. And even this small and seemingly innocent thing is not without danger, as I have found sugar to e a massive "gateway" to a porn relapse.

    Today I'm grateful for

    -I'm interested in stuff (which means I can't be that depressed right now)
    -My father and mother are doing well
    -My warm and comfortable house
     
  7. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    Yeah man try to avoid sugar and refined carbs. i find that I get literally high from them and become very prone for relapse.
     
  8. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 1
    Alcohol Day 81

    Confidence: 60%
    Motivation: 60%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 45%

    So day 11 turned into day 0 yesterday night. What happened was tiredness took over. Working late infromt of the computer again. I feel sad about this because I was gaining momentum and then...down on my knees again, as so many times before.

    This working at night thing, I should be more carfeul with that.

    Have a doctor appointment today, I want to tlak about a prescription for a small amount of benzos, since I sometimes need stuff like that when I play the trumpet infront of a crowd and, even though, I have doe it literally thousands of times, it never get's any easier. The 100% truth is that it get's a little bit worse for every year. So, "exposure therapy" is not effective for every single person...and it seems like I happen to be one of those.

    Fry2, I will try man, because I have noticed the same....I think it's not wrong to say "sugar is a drug", since it's easy to get addicted to it and it spikes dopamine significantly.

    Today I'm grateful for

    -daily routines
    -physical exercise
    -cold showers
     
  9. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    Same here mate, you are not alone. Be careful with the pills though, I recently had a binge because of that. I became sick and took some kind of flu medicine without reading about the ingredients. Turns out the pills had some ephedrine in them, which is pretty stimulating and easily abused. Couldn't sleep and therefore started taking benzos, which fucked me up and resulted in a crazy sleepless pmo night :confused:. Pretty down because of that because besides that I had the feeling that I was doing quite well.

    Anyway here we go again right?
     
  10. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 2
    Alcohol Day 82

    Confidence: 60%
    Motivation: 60%
    Mood: 50%
    Anxiety: 45%

    Fry2, sorry to hear that brother. And thanks for the warning, yeah, I have expereince with benzos from my younger days so I know wthat I'm dealing with and they are not to be played around with, for sure. My ambition is to never take them more than two times a week max. And then, of course have weeks where I take zero. I remember one intensive music weekend where I had to perform three days in a row in 2015, I took bezos for only three days but the first and second day after that, I had a horrible rebound effect from only three days on.

    Yup, one more streak started....I have seen day zero quite a few times now...
     
  11. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    For sure you'll be doing fine fine mate. Just wanted to speak a word of caution as I fell so hard the other day.

    I admire you for your ability to play in front of a large audience btw, that's truly impressive.
     
  12. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Nofap Day 3
    Alcohol Day 83

    Confidence: 70%
    Motivation: 70%
    Mood: 60%
    Anxiety: 35%

    I always appreciate your words brother, so thanks. I hope that we both get to find our best and longest streak this time.

    Btw, the playing infront of an audience is far from easy for me...so I can't really feel that what I'm doing is something impressive. But thanks anyway :)
     
  13. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    Do you still work on on your blog btw? If so could you post me a link? Thx in advance
     
  14. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Warrior evening Day 1
    Nofap Day 1
    Alcohol Day 84

    Confidence: 70%
    Motivation: 70%
    Mood: 60%
    Anxiety: 35%

    Fry2, Right now I'm doing some work on https://mybesttrumpet.com

    Is there an award for the title "worst rebooter in history" ? if so, where do I sign up?

    I just can't handle having an internet connection in my house late at night. I'm doing super during daytime but, at the end of the day, when I'm tired, my prefrontal cortex is not strong enough. I have to cut it out at 8:30
    The problem is I know that we should learn all our triggers and then be able to have an alternate response, instead of acting out. And if I cut out internet after 8:30 pm, I'm just eliminating the triggers instead of reinforcing the alternative behaviours....but, fuck, I still have to go at it like that until my PFC get's strong enough. All it takes is being tired and ONE wrong word into google...and I fall again.

    So...I'm back to the warrior evening, which is no internet connection in my house after 20.30 pm
     
  15. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks man. If you manage to cut out sugar and the internet after 8.30 pm that's two huge leaps forward. I put my phone to greyscale too, it makes it more boring and less addictive and it reduces the mindless surfing. Maybe that's something to try for your computer?
     
  16. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Thanks Fry, I'll keep that in mind and start to consider it...
     
  17. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Warrior evening Day 1 (No internet in my house after 7:30 pm at night)
    Nofap Day 5
    Alcohol Day 88

    Confidence: 40%
    Motivation: 50%
    Mood: 40%
    Anxiety: 50%

    I feel I should be careful writing down my thougts here right now as to not spread "negative energy" on other rebooters. Let's just say that my mood is not the best right now and I think a big part of that is the winter that's coming up on us here in Finland. Days are getting shorter and colder and one can hardly see any light at all. Ok, I think thats enough complaining for today =) this too shall pass....

    I'm proud of my alcohol counter though....just to mention something positive :cool:
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2018
  18. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Warrior evening Day 1 (No internet in my house after 7:30 pm at night)
    Nofap Day 1
    Alcohol Day 91

    Confidence: 50%
    Motivation: 70%
    Mood: 60%
    Anxiety: 40%

    Willpower alone is not enough, I know this. And it shows on my counter but the quesiton is, do I even have will power? Why am I acting like a child who wants candy at this very moment and can't possible wait until Saturday? Ok, bad example since there is no waiting for "a porn day" but the concept of instant gratification is the same. I'm pretty good at postponing gratification in other areas of my life. I have always been good at saving my money, doing physical exercise, to reap the rewards later instead of this very moment. Same goes with diet....

    ...I guess it's a different ballgame when it comes to addictions. Or is it?
     
  19. MarstonS

    MarstonS Walking the longest walk...

    Warrior evening Day 1 (No internet in my house after 7:30 pm at night)
    Nofap Day 3
    Alcohol Day 93

    Confidence: 60%
    Motivation: 70%
    Mood: 60%
    Anxiety: 30%

    Feeling pretty good despite the last relapse. I want to see my alcohol counter get up to 100 and I'm pretty confident I will be able to do so. However, I'm pretty sure I will not keep a zero alcohol tolereance for life. I will probably have a 2-3 drink max limit and only if I notice things getting out of hand, will I again go on a zero no alcohol streak. More on that after a week....
     
  20. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    All in life is about balance. Don't set your min d too hard on 100 days no alcohol, else you'll drink right at day 101.
     

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