Status update Just FMOed. I think I half-intended to try a mindful MO, but I got into sexual fantasy, and then further and further into it. I even edged some to get more fantasy going. Anyway I don't want to keep up this behaviour. I think it might help me to keep having PIED, help me stay in sex addiction, stay attached to an ex-girlfriend, and I just think that FMO is wrong. I'm not sure what triggered it. I looked at a lot of this site today and posted. Maybe all that sexual talk got me going. I'm probably repressing my sexuality all the time so I don't MO to fantasy, and my subconscious is looking for relief. Maybe it was me talking about beautiful women earlier and a revealing picture of a woman country diva. I started with one fantasy but moved on to ones of my ex-girlfriend, my first (and perhaps only) sex partner. I don't know if I'll ever recover from that sexual activity with her, and that was in the 90s. I guess my next sex partner might have to work within that. I'm falling off the wagon as far as no-FMO goes. (Fortunately no temptations to look at P.) I'm not sure what to do, I'm probably not making things much worse. I'm tempted to do it again tonight, maybe the only thing stopping me is that I'll have to put it in my signature and maybe confess it to my 12 step group. Edit: For some reason I still want to try a mindful MO. Let's see if I can keep fantasy out of it. Edit: Tried to do a mindful MO, but almost the entire time kept getting fantasy into it. I tried Ming to just sensation only and it was just tedious and I got no erection. Also my erection from fantasy starts to go away right away after stopping the fantasy. I'm still thinking of trying again some other day. Maybe the time naked and trying to regenerate my old sexuality is doing me good. Edit: Here's the picture that may have gotten me excited (possible trigger warning) (Edit again: Took off link since it's not necessary. It was of a famous singer with very pretty hair and showing the skin of her back.). And I'm still naked to see if it helps.