I think I can get to your replies later. Status I was clean for 1-2 days but mostly I keep FMOing. I don't know why keep doing it, nor why I don't even really try to stop myself. Here's some reasons why I think I keep doing this: It doesn't seem to be substantially harmful, or at least it's not compared to internet porn (this might not be true, it's just how I feel) Covid-19 pandemic is keeping me indoors, which probably doesn't help Standard loneliness, which is why I fantasise about women in a close relationship with me I exposed myself to cartoon boobs today, not quite nude, but nude enough for me. This might have triggered me Anger and frustration that I'm not dealing with I'm not really living real life, so no sense of security or accomplishment, giving me more a motivation to find it in fantasy It's not solid in my mind that this keeps me addicted to internet porn, and so I don't use my will power to stop myself. (Boy, is it ever not solid in my mind.) My mind is still degraded from internet porn and I don't have the willpower or self-determination to stop myself from doing this I'm tired and depleted from fighting internet porn so much the last 1-2 years, although successfully I am not sure what the solution is. I think I will have to: Finally get convinced that FMO is bad for me, probably because it prevents my mental recovery from internet porn, and also just for the sake of the unrealistic and immoral fantasies Find some kind of replacement in real life, in employment or family or maybe some other responsibility Maybe more time meditating, reading, reading the Bible, or healthy fantasising about getting out more and improving my life Re-read the quote by C. S. Lewis and remind myself that these immoral fantasies are only leading me away from a righteous, fulfilled life Maybe try going without the internet (except for TV) for a while End of post.