I know from experience that you can lose a fetish

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by ukbritishbloke, Nov 17, 2017.

  1. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke New Member

    Something occurred to me recently that I think may be worth sharing.

    I'm over 40, and so had plenty of sex and relationships, and PMO, before internet porn. But I also managed to give up a fetish. So much so that I'd actually forgotten it.

    I was in my 20s, which was before internet porn existed. I had been quite interested in a particular, I think quite typical male fetish (I won't discuss it in detail), one that involved either lying to girlfriends or else being honest and freaking most of them out (I know some women are okay with this thing, but most aren't). It was a real issue with one girlfriend. So I just decided, one day, that it was harming my chances, and gave it up. Instead of building this fetish into my masturbation, and ever again feeling I had to decide whether to tell a woman about it, I just decided to fantasise about other things: sex itself, and my other fetishy thoughts that are more female-friendly.

    Now, many years later, I never think about this thing. Or perhaps more accurately all my thoughts that once would have gone that way have now been redirected to a better target. And I've never had to lie about this again or raise it with a girlfriend, because it's not what I'm into. I have other fetishes (that I'm sure are natural because they've been around so long), but I'm happier with them because they're the kinds of things a fair number of women are okay with.

    Anyway, it's a pre-internet example of the "use it or lose it" thing in action. I realised I know it works, from my own past experience.
  2. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks for sharing. Interesting how you describe the process of letting go of the fetish. Like you made a conscious decision to wire your brain away from it. Thank heavens for neuroplasticity. Wish you the best.
  3. IWillWin03

    IWillWin03 New Member

    You're cured of this fetish now? How long did it take you?
  4. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke New Member

    Yes. I don't want the thing now. I could anytime I wanted, but I don't need to. I don't know how long it took. Maybe 5 years to go from wanting it a lot to not wanting it at all.

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