So, yeah, like the title says, but what I hate more, and creates more frustration than that is the fact of not having anyone in real life with whom I can discuss my problem and let some of the steam out. I'm a southamerican dude, still, for the moment living in SA, I do not cherish my culture in any way, its what has kept us under-developed, in part. In this part of the world anything out of the cultural ordinary is view as bad, not adequeate, inventions of the devil, witchcraft, crazy talk or all of those at the same time. Being that the case, is was incredibly hard for me to reveal what I know empirically and in my heart to be an addiction; the first people I told about it where my close family, two members of it, I cried when told them, obviously being so young, and knowing nothing about anything at that time in combination with having found out that I was an addict was very scary, the fact that they didn't took it seriously was a blow at the time, after all, there I was, revealing my most intimate and embarrasing secret, only to be regarded as crazy, or victim of a witchcraft, or both, besides I was being clinically depressed at that time, being so, the third person who I told about it was my psychiatrists, he took it a little more seriously, but over a combination of factors I soon stopped watching him. That was several years ago, know I have a girlfriend to whom I've disclose my problem too, but she doesn't takes it seriously either. Look, I don't want to portray myself as a victim here, I just wanted to express how incredibly difficult can be to have a new problem in an old world. The sad thing is, I also know I'm not the only one with it, and at least now I have this forum and other resources to help me in my recovery, but there's also many people out there, specially in these countries where the have to suffer in silence, not because their lack of will to talk about it, but because of the stupidity beign impossed on them by retrograde attitudes. I know a lot of you aren't being taken seriously either, even if you live in a first world country, there's a lot of bullshit out there, and people can be manipulated to believe anything, like the earth is flat. Like I said, I didn't want to write on a forum, I didn't want to be mocked or to cause anyone grammar pains due to the way that I write, I also didn't want to be ignored once again , but I can already feel the therapeutic element of this, even if nobody gives a shit it just feels good being able to put it out there, even under a pseudonym. So, keep the good fight. Chao.