yeh right? you don;t even realize at the time just how fucked up it is to do that around your loved one. It sounds good to be properly passed all that and that it really is possible. I was starting to think that I couldn't do it and that all guys must use P, giving myself excuses etc. My wife is in Germany this week and I thought I was going to have a bad time with P, but instead I have managed to find this and made some decisions and its been great. I told her all about it last night and I was really emotional about it which translated really well over facetime as she thought also that I would be failing again. Needless to say she was impressed and said she would be able to help me out with the no MO thing when she's back!! I'm starting to feel 'backed up' and I think its going to my head as I was totally random chatting to her this morning and we were cracking up. This is a new experience and I am finding out new things every day right now. I also find myself waiting for a bad day to come, as I'm sure it must, where I find it more difficult. I hope I come up with enough strength and reasons in the meantime to help me at that time not to fail.