I could have had it all.. PORN utterly destroyed my entire soul, and life. satan succeeded

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by RegretFullestFappin, May 31, 2019.

  1. RegretFullestFappin

    RegretFullestFappin New Member

    I had a fucked up life and bad highschool life. my older bro sort of molested me when I was 8, had a traumatic brain injury, and I used to tie myself up and torture myself pretending i was a chick until i bled when I was 9 due to watching BDSM porn

    Yet when I turned 20 I moved to the city, started meeting people who threw college parties.. I see this girl in their FB party group, who looked gorgeous... Thin waist.. Curved hips... Big natural tits... Wavy brown hair.. Pretty smile. Light tan.. Green eyes...

    A couple weeks later I actually get introduced to her and take her snapchat.. Turns out she is a 17 year old Instagram model with 3k followers... (Legal age in my area is 16) Yet due to porn, and performance anxiety from being sober I could not get turned on for sex.. She was going to cheat on her Justin Bieber type boyfriend with me.. He was literally waiting for her to go to a party afterwards.. She was in my room NUDE after we made out on our date.. But I couldnt get a boner or turned on..

    Same happens with another freshman indian chick who wanted me to take her virginity..

    Fast forward I am having sex with decent girls on nofap... Yet I meet this white chick with my friend... Shes curvy, not fat at all but has a huge white ass.. She invited my black friend and I to her place.. We are all kinda drunk..

    She films us massaging her and sends it to her long distance black Tyrone type Bf.. She kicks my friend out while I go to poop.. She wants to cheat on her man and fuck me yet I cant pop a boner... Thing is Girls tell me my dick is very big and wide.. I would had split her open. Would had been such an ego boost

    I then go on a date with this tall, gorgeous college black chick, she looks like EXACTLY like Khadijha Red Thunder except a little darker... She is really bitchy, and acts exactly like a spoiled valley, beverelly hills girl. Yet she also plays video games and I can relate a lot with her

    I ghost her a little and Play my card rights.. One night I have sex with this other cute, caramell IG model but she is 26.. Past her prime so it doesn't even matter.. I get depressed over my past, my OCD attacking me on how I literally made out with two trannies once, but that was before I knew they had a penis... Disgusting.. and I am still not even a full week on nofap..Yet I invite the Tall gorgeous girl over...

    She is telling me how her black boyfriend is to nice, and lacks spontaneity and I tease her, "Like This *SPANK*" She loves it.. She loves my assholeness.. I tell her how her boyfriend will raise my babies. She says she loves my blue eyes.
    She sucks and kisses my dick a little, and sticks her fingers at me.. She then lets me fuck her without a condom when she makes others use it... She just tells me we can't kiss Yet as we take off our clothes.. My anxiety and depression get to me.. My libido isn't even there anymore because I just had sex the other day and I need more time on nofap..

    She laughs and calls me pathetic then blocks me.

    When I am on nofap I am a literal animal.... Girls LOVE me. I start biting them primally, Biting their neck.. Fucking with my thick cock.. Yet I ONLY got to give that to average or ugly girls.. And I hate it.. Its like satan keeps jinxing me..

    I could had had it all.. My ego would be set.. I had all these high value girls when i am not even really a chad... I just have pretty eyes.. I would be eating mcdonalds yet still feel like a king.. I could die tomorrow KNOWING I fucked young, PRIME, pussy... IG models! Girls who cheated on their boyfriends with ME!

    I would then hook up with this gorgeous mixed girl who I have a crush on whos turning 18 soon.. Probably get her pregnant, as she begs for my cum and baby knowing about all the hot girls I fucked in the past (Chicks LOVE players and slayers)

    I would give her my Alpha baby.. After that it wouldn't matter if she fucked a 100 guys in college.. I still was her first... The universe would know of all my conquests ... My ego would be set for life..But now? I am just a could have been.. And it is hell
     

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