So I'm a 28 year old male and I've been PMOing almost daily since I was about 13 or so, several years before I had actual sex which was when I was 17. I was inside her for a few minutes, I think. I don't recall going limp inside of her, but I didn't cum. In fact I've had sex about 5 or 6 times in my life, two of which I actually limped out during penetration, and all of which I did not orgasm. To this day, I haven't had sex in nearly a decade. For as long as I can remember, I have lived a very sedentary lifestyle, lots of tv, shit food, and video games. These habits have crystallized into adulthood, and for many years I have had the "manchild" experience. After I somehow graduated from grade school I was unemployed for many years and was addicted to weed, junk food, video games, and of course internet porn. I got really fat, at my heaviest I was about 350 pounds. I was miserable and directionless. For basically my whole life ever since I first started going to school I thought I was just intrinsically fucked up, that I was stupid, that I just had a social stink and that I was irreparably damaged. This was because people always avoided me and I always struggled to perform on par with my peers. About two years ago, however, I began learning about neuroplasticity. The idea that I could change the way my brain worked was a game changing discovery. So I decided I was gonna change my life. I started meditating daily for 15 minutes, I cut out the junk food, I started taking long walks and dancing for exercise. Over time, I managed to drop over 100 pounds and have kept it off to this day though I'm still about 40 or 50 pounds overweight but ey progress is progress. I now work overnights stocking shelves, and I'm definitely happier than I was when I was 25, but I still live a life of zero intimacy. Nobody seems to want anything to do with me either. I'm still incredibly lonely, and I still low key hate myself. Doesn't help that this whole coronavirus thing makes socializing and dating a lot fucking harder lol. I've decided to cut out porn completely since even though that's the one thing I can fall back on when I'm feeling lonely and horny, that is the reason why I'm lonely and horny. What I really want more than anything is to be 100% secure with myself and what I have to offer. I want to become the best possible version of myself, the version of myself that I would be now if I was raised properly. I just worry that the wiring is too strong.. I'd love to hear from you guys. Whatever advice, similar experiences, success stories you have, please share. Thanks for reading this and I wish you much success on your journey. Much love.