I am so proud of myself, Finally hit the flatline

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by hope2overcome, May 28, 2016.

  1. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I have been on this forum for many years and have read many stories of flatlines. I know it is the pre-requisite to recovery, like literally the step before healing. According to ybop, this is an indication that the recovery efforts are well received by the brain and the brain is currently resting and straightening out things.

    How did I get here?
    I resisted deep temptations to which I used to fall victim to a lot. I reigned in my desires even when I see girls in small clothing.

    How do I know I am in the flatline?

    Normally when I see a really really beautiful girl, I get so antsy and jittery, I get consumed by sexual repressive feeling. Sometimes, I even follow her like a creep for a little bit. But, after a lot of acting against my impulses this happened. Today, I saw a 11/10 blonde chick who is better than every celebrity in tv. She knew she was gorgeous. I didn't even have to fight myself to not look. Nor did I have any desire to pursue her. I simply did not have any desire. I am also very calm which is the complete opposite from before. When I see a hot girl and she likes me back and we maintain eye contact. This happened a few times today, I did not even desire to even want her. There seems to be a lack of desire plus what feels like a mental block in my mind.

    What to do?
    Simply continue on the rebooting process. Do not give in to proclivity. Focus on other areas of your life.
  2. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    What is interesting to note is that. I could be given a million dollars in my hand right now but won't feel as happy as I do now having approached the flatline zone. Woohooo.
  3. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Just know you can recover without flatline, too, like many (though perhaps not a majority) of people have.

    I'm not saying this to discourage you (because indeed, flatline is deeply healing and a sign that the recovery process is going forward), I'm saying it to not discourage people who don't enter flatline. ;)

    Congrats on resisting the temptations! :)
  4. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    Thanks Newnes.
  5. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations hope2overcome, keep up the good work !

    I agree with what Newnes says about the flatline but this doesn't dismiss your own points.
  6. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Yes and I hope I made it clear enough above! Flatline or not, each day away from porn is a win and a step on the right path.
  7. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    Don't fear the flatline - it's a spiritual time. A great chance to take stock of your life and shine a light into all your dark places.
  8. kira

    kira Member

    Congratulations hope2overcome :)
  9. Borges08

    Borges08 Member

    I think I'm approaching it too. The addictive cravings are beginning to subside and my body is really shut down. My groin area feels "warmer or fuller" sort of rather than cold and empty and my head feels fuller too. I'm still in withdrawal as I have a lot of depression like heavy chest, deep sighing, etc. Once the addictive cravings subside the only thing left is flatline and libido. I don't really have an urge to masturbate anymore just filling my days are what is hard. I can see the changes around my eyes though it's changing and the dark circles are starting to heal and starting to look healthier. I just feel depressed and really absent..numb still. No morning wood or wet dreams. Extremely lethargic.

    Lots of headaches and throbbing in sides of head. Really dry eyes (gets really bad if I MO) and I feel like my forehead is being crushed. I have to squint most of the time.
  10. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    @Thelongwayhome, @kira. thanks for your support guys.

    @Borges, I do not have any of those symptoms. The only symptom I can feel which may not even come from recovery is unperceived low energy. What I mean by this is, I feel fine and perfect until I start to lift some weights, it feels heavy and my arms feel tired. This never happened to me ever in my life.

    I went to the gym today, I usually spend about 1.5 hrs just on shoulders. I have done so habitually for the last 3 yrs with no problem at all. However, today I was lifting 60 dumbbells and my arms and my upper back felt tired and weak. Then, I went to 65 lbs and I should have been able to do 9 reps, I couldn't do more than 3 reps. It felts horrible. Then, in my lateral raises, I injured my back. It feels horrible. When I imagine why this happened. I think it is related to the recovery process.
  11. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    Never mind guys. I realized after today that I am not in a flatline. I don't have PIED, PE or DE. I may have some missing sensitivity but fort he most part I can O even with a raincoat on.

    But, the problem is deep porn induced sexual fantasies that make everything very difficult for me. In fact, I have very little desire to talk to a girl. Love and intimacy are somewhat completely gone from me.

    The goal is to prevent my brain from wandering into sexual fantasy territory.

    But, overall, I have made Super Significant improvements. Immensely amazing. I am a completely different more confidence person.
  12. mik

    mik Guest

    I thought you said those fantasies are a thing of the past? This would be a whole lot easier for you if you just accept that you might have some fairly "twisted" sexual fantasies, just like the rest of the population. That doesn't exclude women, one of the top fetishes among women is to have control taken away (consensually and by someone they trust of course). A lot of women fantasize about being completely dominated by a man (again not against their will).

    The first step is to realize that women are just as screwy in the head as we are, let go of your shame and go find yourself an open minded girl. You haven't lost your ability to feel love if you've never actually been in love ;)
  13. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    ok mik thanks for checking in, now see yourself out, next!!!
  14. mik

    mik Guest

    ;D You can continue to live in shame if you like, maybe your fetishes will go away, or perhaps you will just need to come to terms with them.

    In any case you sound very confused, and i'm not sure how not feeling love or intimacy is a super duper improvement ???

    If you have no desire to connect with women emotionally, then why do you bother worrying about it?

    I am actually providing some sincere advice here, just because we disagree on escorts and religion doesn't mean I don't have a sympathetic ear.
  15. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I don't call what you say advice. Just leave me be.
  16. mik

    mik Guest

    "Whaaaa! dissenting opinions bother me whaaaaa!"

    This is a public forum, deal with it 8)
  17. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    Whatever my issue with porn maybe, it is not even half the issues you are going through. That is very apparent to anyone reading. So, I really don't need advice from you.

    You come on this forum to argue and debate. I thought you were leaving? Why are you still here? Just stand by your words and leave. If you don't give any value to your own words, why should I?
  18. mik

    mik Guest

    Do tell, please explain very clearly and rationally why my comfort with my sexuality, my belief in women's self agency, and my disbelief in religion are issues?
    Or can you? Would that not just be your opinion?

    Nope not leaving, just not counting days away from porn.
    My dramatic goodbye was just for laughs ;D
  19. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    That's an open admission of trolling in a forum for guys with a serious health concern. Try going out and making friends rather than making virtual enemies. Grow up kid.
  20. mik

    mik Guest

    Jokes do not = trolling ;)

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