How to succesfully follow the NO AROUSAL method??!!!

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Anewlife, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Hello All,

    I am trying to recover from P addiction and restoring my libido. Been in this for over 4 years and still struggeling with urges / oogling the hell out of every woman i see.

    The No Arousal Method is the hardest thing ive ever tried, and ive been through things like cocaine addiction, nicotine and caffeine addiction, P addiction, binge eating (gained 44 pounds in 3 months). Ive beat them all except this one.......

    Constantly looking ./ checking out girls at my gym and on the street/ seeking their gratification.

    I am fighting off the urge to look at all the women at my local gym and have this urge that i MUST check them out from head to toe. Even it has never get me laid i keep doing it and feel depressed afterwards. I never talk to them.

    I am planning on going hard mode for 90 days and avoiding all triggers / looking away from the "goods"

    Any tips to stick to the NO a method?

    Thanks
     
  2. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    All I can talk about is what worked for me.

    In the first instance, I became aware that ogling women was brining me down. Rather than finding the experience sexy, I was getting angry at myself for never having a beautiful woman like that chasing after me, which then became a pity party. And that became a relapse. That was my motivation.

    One thing I do when I see beautiful women is to try to figure out something about them. Where are they going? What are they doing? What do they do for a living? What are they like?

    It turns them into people, and makes me look at them up and down rather than staring.
     
  3. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    I just had another realization, walking across town - the answer is simple: look 'em in the eye.

    That's my new rule. If I'm making eye contact, I'm not feeling creepy.
     
  4. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    This right here is EXACTLY how i feel after oogling... Thank you for the motivating words.

    I am gonna try looking them in the eyes and see if that makes a diffrence.

    Ill keep you updated
     
  5. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Thank you, i have failed a couple of 100 times with the NO arousal method. But when i come to think of it, i failed a lot when quitting nicotine, cafeine and binge eating and now i am free of all of them...

    Going to commit myself and try on meditation.

    I believe this is the road to recovery.

    Any insights on real sex during the NO arousal method?

    i have a girlfriend and her sex drive is through the roof,..

    its hard to keep up when your libido just isnt there
     
  6. A couple of hundred times? Is that all? :p
    With the NoA method, expect to fail thousands of times. TENS of thousands. HUNDREDS of thousands!
    It'll take weeks of practice before you see any noticeable progress.
    Think about mindfulness meditation. Every time your mind wanders away from your breathing you "fail". You can fail hundreds of times in a 30 minute session alone. If you get it perfect after only a few attempts then you must be the next reincarnation of Buddha! But eventually, your wandering thoughts will get less and less. It won't suddenly stop one day and then you burst through into enlightenment. The brain doesn't work like that. So why should it work like that for the NoA method?
     
  7. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    This is really eye opening, i just gave up after 100 times thinking it was too hard.

    But after reading this i realise that it takes much more practise and time.

    I am going to put the slight edge to work.

    Thanks for your opinions
     
  8. bucketter

    bucketter Guest

    You don't.


    NoA is the dumbest shit on the NOPMO community, the whole point is to train your brain to find real women sexy and desirable. To heal your brain so it becomes desensitized to porn and resesitived to real women, so why are you then going to cut out the real women part of that?

    I already have a thread on this
     
  9. But he already has a girlfriend...
     
  10. bucketter

    bucketter Guest

    wait. if he has a girlfriend, then I imagine there will be intimate moments shared between the two of them? so could someone explain to me how that's no arousal? is he cutting off intimacy in his relationship?
     
  11. bucketter

    bucketter Guest

    ok then lets not call it no AROUSAL and lets just call it what it is which is hard mode.
     
  12. bucketter

    bucketter Guest

    mate no PMO is the standard when it comes to this entire thing; don't watch porn, don't masturbate to it and on't orgasm from it. simple
    hard mode makes alot more sense then NoA, if you are actively trying to stop yourself from looking at an attractive girl's ass when your mind is saying to do it, then that is against your own human nature, you aren't watching porn you are literall being attracted to real girls. the whole point of rebooting.
     
  13. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    Thank you for your opinion but this topic isnt about "does the no Arousal method work" yes or no.

    i know it works and i am asking for tips to stick to it. If you dont believe in it than thats your loss.

    Constantly looking and checking all girls that cross your eye isnt called attraction, its called ADDICTION.

    Succes with your NO pmo goals and keep on oogling as much as you want...
     
  14. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    I'm doing the no arousal method, it helps tremendously save you mental energy that is usually wasted ogling women, feeling frustrated, craving and jealous. To help keep yourself on track just focusing on what YOU are doing, do not check out what other people are doing whether boy or girl. When walking down the street look at the overview of the place you are in because looking down at your feet is not realistic. If I see a women that is attractive because you will have to look people in the eye from time to time if you are socialising, I make it a rule in my mind not to look below her neck. Admiring someone's beauty is not the same as mentally undressing them and fantasising about them sexually.

    Another thing is meditation will help you detach from that nagging voice that tells you that you just got check out that girl, just one time.
     
  15. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Good topic, I've been struggling with this a lot lately.

    Anewlife,


    I think this something one should find out for himself. For me, looking at girls is not something I find creepy. It's natural male behaviour. However, If I keep acting on the thought of looking, and somehow feel bad about looking - then there's something to improve. The question is - do you consider yourself as a pervert ogler that can't keep his eyes off women?
    You don't sound like one and I think you're beeing really hard on yourself, considering you haven't seen porn for over 1200 days.


    Newnes, metal and bucketter, holdontoyourhats all have solid points. It's to you to implement their elements in something that works for you. I wish you all the best.
     
  16. lukelcs

    lukelcs Guest

    I avoid oogling, got a 93% sucess rate. Try to tell myself I must not give in to the desire of looking if one is around, then time passes and the feel of the opportunity lost goes away. Is indeed harder to not fantasize, though. Have to mentalize the big red "X" flashing with a beeping alert, but after day 40 and something it's been easier.
     
  17. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    To me the key is a simple mantra: "look somewhere else". You can't look at the bird on a roof and girl's ass at the same time.
    Don't try NOT do do something because it never works. Just remind yourself to look at something else. Sometimes I will just look at something at my phone, most of the time I simply look at distant buildings, or trees. In situations where I can't avoid direct contact I look her in the eye.
    It takes some reminders to yourself and you hafta be aware (meditation definitely helps).
    It toom me about 2 weeks to bring oogling fails to near zero.
    And I oogled for decades. As a fetishist of pretty much anything related to women I have more then breasts and asses to worry about.....
    Still, 2 weeks and I am close to completely clear.
    Also, as Newnessaid - if it's the last bastion of addiction your mind might hold on to it a bit longer.
     
  18. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Great advice. Don't think "I shouldn't think about the pink elephant" but replace that thought with another. Don't try not to stare at female parts; look at something else.

    Appreciate your environment. Boobs and asses are no more beautiful than trees, birds, arts (including graffitis), the smile on another person's face or whatever.
     
  19. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member


    Thanks all for your motivating words, i am more than happy to read that i am not the only one who is following this method.

    I am currently going strong for about 4 days now, my succes rate is climbing up. Also some things did happen, since im not oogling, ive fallen back in my binge eating behaviour, mabye to replace the dopamine hits i miss of not oogling...

    And to answer the question of Rengaw, yes i do 100% consider myself as a pervert oogler that can't keep my eyes of women and cant stop fantasizing.

    I truyly believe that i am on the path to recovery and going to stick to the No A method for as llong as it takes to find my libido and sense of well being back.

    For people wanting to follow this same method, some things that helped me overcome my addicitons are "urge surfing" and "the slight edge"

    Any questions feel free to ask.

    Anewlife
     
  20. Anewlife

    Anewlife Member

    What i also would like to add;

    After 4 days of no aroulsal i had a wet dream last night, havent had these for quite a long time,

    Could be a coincidence but i fairly doubt it
     

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