how to stop fantasizing at bedtime? (need some real help)

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by alp3000, Apr 29, 2017.

  1. alp3000

    alp3000 New Member

    in the last months I achieved great results in relation to PMO and MO

    the big problem now is fantasizing at bedtime.

    I lie down and after 5 minuts my mind starts fiercely fantasizing about having sex with real women that I know of my routine or some that I saw in the street.

    how to stop this stuff? There must be some kind of way to deal with it. Something I noticed is that if I get up, the fantasy stops, however I need to sleep. The better option would be to do not sleep? Stay awake everytime thoughts come?

    my brain is being burned

    I want to accelerate the improvement.

    thank you all!!
  2. Mik2

    Mik2 Aka NwaltRed

    Masturbation is my go to at bedtime. If however you are harboring some irrational fear of masturbation, perhaps you could try chamomile tea to relax. Also look into foods that lower your libido, chaste tea, soy, licorice, google is your friend (or perhaps google is better described as your benevolent god, that stores vast amounts of information on you which can be used against you in any number of ways) Maybe try instead, startpage is your friend ;)
  3. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Last edited: May 1, 2017
  4. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    It's a barrier you have to overcome because sleep is a key part of rebooting (when you are tired you have no sense of scale and minor problems seem like the end of the world).

    It was a problem of mine. I found that going hard mode during the day helped retrain myself from oggling women and fantasizing when I was out and about, which gave me less material at night.

    Another thing that helped was the realization that fantasy had been behind many of my relapses, because it brought me down. It makes your current situation seem real shitty - nothing can compare to fantasy!

    You can't tell yourself not to think something, but you can gently push the thought away. You can allow yourself different - non-sexual - daydreams.

    Another couple of suggestions: cut your caffeine and meditate before bedtime and you will fall asleep much quicker.

    It's like anything else - mostly routine. You can retrain yourself within a couple of weeks.
    Billy B. likes this.
  5. chrism

    chrism It's time to make a change.

    I used to have a big problem with night time fantasies as well, I found that reading a book before bed was the best way for me to block out any other thoughts.

    I go to bed 30 minutes (minimum) before I want to fall asleep, I get my book out and just read until I'm tired enough to fall asleep. Also as stated above, cutting out coffee or sugary food before bed helped me too.
  6. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    I'd make sure to be sleepy. Too often has random caffeine made me relapse when I actually meant to sleep.
  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

  8. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    You make it seem like it's impossible. Its very possible. Go to the gym beforehand, work up a sweat get tired if needed read a book. Then, go to sleep without fantasizing. You will wake up earlier than your used and with more energy. Unlike you, I fantasize about having a family and doing normal stuff together as a family. And, even that when done for so many years becomes quite a burden on me. This needs to stop.
  9. FuturePerfect

    FuturePerfect Member

    +1 for cutting caffeine and going to bed until you are ready to sleep ASAP. Usually fantasies come out once the mind realizes it is not going to get asleep quickly.

    I'm guilty as charged of fantasies on bed... realizing the caffeine I was taking "for keeping the energy levels up after PMO last night" was the one keeping my brain active and flashing the XXX movies while on bed made me finally leave it.
    pieterarons15 and Billy B. like this.
  10. biggleii

    biggleii Member

    I wouldn't worry about it.
  11. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member


    I am serious its proven that if we read a book before going to sleep you will sleep much better

    its because our mind is going through a vacation( a fantasy but not porn fantasy) a book fantasy. Make sure its a interesting storyline like drama that will keep you up only read it 10 minutes and then go to sleep.
    Billy B. likes this.

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