How to delete bad memories and how to remember good ones?

I know I have a lot of good memories in my head. But due to PMO and lot of sleep deprivation my brain is fucked. I keep thinking about random things for no apparent reason. I always think of negative thoughts and bad memories and incidents from the past. It has been such a long time since I had any clarity in my mind.

Anyone has any tips for improvements please do share.

 

Bad Memories and good memories are part of life. As life move on people learn and remember new things and automatically diverted their mindset from old memories. Some people make new friends, travel a lot to forget the old bad past.

 

You can't but you can change your relationship to them which will reduce the time spent thinking about them. Try therapy.

 

Thanks. I just need to figure out a way to live with them. It is unfortunate that it has become a part of me. But there is more good than bad in me. I will try to think positive, sleep well and meditate. I think that is the only way to change.

 

Hi! (This is my first post, I really really hope I don't say something that breaks the rules and get deleted!)

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! I too have that issue. I have C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) from a really messed up childhood and life experiences and also struggle with years of PMO and hyper-sexuality. Sometimes I'll be driving down the road and all of a sudden think of an event that happened 10 years ago and I'll get mad all over again as if it just happened that day..and the thoughts are obsessive. I just try to change the music I'm listening to (sometimes to motivational talks) and switch the looping "dvd" thoughts in my mind to something more positive. It's hard! Sometimes I have to stop in my tracks and switch gears and go for a jog or eat a banana or avocado (high in potassium and serotonin)

Also, regarding the bad memories, it's important to allow ourselves to process and feel the emotions and help ourselves get closure on some of the festering wounds caused by hurt from the past. Sometimes we can just observe the thought and remember that it's just a memory and everything is ok now and things can always get better.

I discovered an amino acid called L-tryptophan that helps increase my low serotonin levels. Low serotonin increases anxiety, impulsive behavior, hyper sexuality, insomnia, and increased adrenaline... and all this can be triggered by merely a memory of the past. I've been to therapy and I also am on anti anxiety meds because it's pretty serious in my case and affects my daily life...major adrenaline regulating issues which causes me to get upset randomly or say stupid things and talk fast when I'm anxious. (I also quit caffeinated sodas completely. Still drink natural herbal tea because it contains L-theanine which counteracts the natural caffeine) I do intermittent fasting, go to the gym and try to get exercise and plenty of water and eat as healthy as possible (I'm unfortunately struggling with addiction to junk food too) and I like to sit in the hydro massage chair at the gym...I'm doing a lot better than before... although I still have some deep rooted habits that I'm trying to break! It takes alot of work molding ourselves into the champs we wanna be!! But it's well worth it!! We can do it! Gotta keep fighting the good fight and keep moving forward with unrelenting positivity!

"If you had a million dollar race horse, would you overwork it, feed it crappy food and deprive it of sleep?" - Zig Ziglar

 

This is the life of good and bad experiences but nothing stays for longer period. It is very difficult to delete bad memories completely because this cause more effect on your brain than good memories. By considering this we have to move forward. Meditation can help at a certain limits. When you meditate, you are in a different zone of mind. So when such bad memories come around, always remember. you are now prepared to face it. Simply we say, the beauty of meditation is letting things come and go. Hope this will help.

 

I'm not sure how severe your intrusive thoughts are so take my advice with a grain of salt. That being said, the old adage "neurons that fire together, wire together" so taking a few deliberate moments per day to journal about those good memories and change your focus when bad memories come up would be useful. More importantly, work on developing NEW good memories! If nothing particularly exciting is happening in your life at the moment, consider a basic gratitude journal (write down 1-3 positive things that happened that day). This will train your selective focus to bias towards positive thoughts.

Meditation is also a very strong weapon and will drastically improve your ability to re-focus your thoughts. The effects are subtle initially, but even 5-10mins using some sort of guided meditation app will produce profound changes after a month.

 

Not sure if the OP is still here but on the subject, we're not at the point where a technology to erase memory like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is available but on the other hand sometimes we remember the good stuff but we just don't pay attention and think of them, but it's in there.

And aside from how strong a memory is, we can always create new ones. Even if the ones we have from day to day may not be super good if there's more of them vs. the bad ones, like the porn related ones then there will just be less of the negative to draw on.

But aside from how many of each kind of memory there are clarity is really important, I think the OP at least eluded to sleep deprivation. I think the best goal is to not even get into the frame of mind where you can be compulsive about negative thinking, not after they start popping up but recognizing you're in a rut even before you have a single thought, with practice it may be possible to get a sense of how that feels and have an intuition that's an early sign. Hope that makes sense, and speaking of which I'm online too long even if it may be a site like this.